The Arlington chapter of the Virginia Alcoholic Beverage Commission has banned beer pong.

Whoa.

Republican lawmakers are drafting new legislation that will make marriage a requirement for motherhood in the state of Indiana, including specific criminal penalties for unmarried women who do become pregnant “by means other than sexual intercourse.”

According to a draft of the recommended change in state law, every woman in Indiana seeking to become a mother throu gh assisted reproduction therapy such as in vitro fertilization, sperm donation, and egg donation, must first file for a “petition for parentage” in their local county probate court.

Only women who are married will be considered for the “gestational certificate” that must be presented to any doctor who facilitates the pregnancy. Further, the “gestational certificate” will only be given to married couples that successfully complete the same screening process currently required by law of adoptive parents.

The Hoosier state, doing me proud. Thanks to Bronwyn Ramey for the tip.

What’s with this disturbing trend among idiot legislators to sponsor “there oughtta’ be a law” contests? Here’s the latest doofus’s excuse:

In addition to spawning a useful law, the freshman assemblyman hopes the contest will spur political involvement in his community, said Grace Meng, his daughter and office manager.

Yes, foster “political involvement” by appealing to the lurking tyrant in each of us.

I’ll give a campaign contribution to the first politician who holds a “We Oughtta Repeal This Law” contest.

Bloomberg’s New York:

A woman was given a ticket for sitting on a park bench because she doesn’t have children.

The Rivington Playground on Manhattan’s East Side has a small sign at the entrance that says adults are prohibited unless they are accompanied by a child.

Forty-seven-year-old Sandra Catena says she didn’t see the sign when she sat down to wait for an arts festival to start. Two New York City police officers asked her if she was with a child. When she said no, they gave her a ticket that could bring a one thousand dollar fine and 90 days in jail.

The rule is apparently aimed at preventing pedophiles from preying on children in city parks. I envision some ACLU type on The O’Reilly Factor attempting to point out the obvious: That the law itself is stupid, and that a potential $1,000 fine and 90 days in jail for sitting on a park bench is a bit excessive.

O’Reilly: Explain yourself.

ACLU Guy: This law is silly.

O’Reilly: Do you know that it is intended to protect children from pedophiles?

ACLU Guy: So? It’s still a dumb law. And the punishment is excessive.

O’Reilly: Why would you make it easier for pedophiles to find children to satisfy their sick, sadistic urges?

ACLU Guy: I wouldn’t. I just think this law is ill—

O’Reilly: Where in the Constitution does it say you have the right to sit on a park bench?

ACLU Guy: Well it doesn’t explicitly….

O’Reilly: Quote it for me, Mr. Civil Libertarian. Give me the Article and Section. Give me the Amendment. Read it back to me.

ACLU Guy: The Constitution doesn’t have to lay out all of your rights in order for them to be….

O’Reilly: So it isn’t in there, is it?

ACLU Guy: Well no, not explicitly. But as I was saying, it doesn’t need….

O’Reilly: I think I’ve proven my point. You know who’d love for this law to be repealed? NAMBLA. That’s the North American Man-Boy Love Association. Man-boy love. Men on boys. Men loving boys. Or, as you might put it, defending their “right” to love boys. You’ve probably heard of them. Your organization has defended them. Do you want NAMBLA members hanging out on our playgrounds, scoping out grade school kids to have sex with? Do you want to help NAMBLA? NAMBLA, NAMBLA, NAMBLA! I’ll give you the last word. NAMBLA.

ACLU Guy: I think people should be able to sit on public benches when they’re tired, regardless of whether or not they have children. Also, many pedophiles have children themselves. This law would do nothing to stop them. There’s also probably an equal protection problem, here.

O’Reilly: I don’t know much about your fancy lawyering words, sir. But I do know that our children need protection from pedophiles, sickos, and perverts. And NAMBLA. And you, sir, have put yourself on the wrong side. NAMBLA. Also, NAMBLA.

ACLU Guy: I haven’t put myself on any….

O’Reilly: NAMBLA. Banana-nana-fo-FAMBLA.

ACLU Guy: I thought I was going to get the last word?

O’Reilly: NAMBLA.

Riverside, California may make it illegal to stand near a driver who revs his engine.

The Riverside County, California Board of Supervisors will begin consideration of a proposal today that would make merely being within two hundred feet of an “exhibition of speed” or illegal drag race a crime carrying a $1000 fine or 90 days in prison. The city of Oakland recently adopted a similar ordinance to combat “sideshows.”

[...]

The definition of “preparations” includes “one or more drivers is revving his engine or spinning his tires in preparation for the event” and would apply whether the spectator was on public streets or even private property.

A thousand bucks or three months in jail for standing near someone who may or many not be thinking about speeding.

Tragedy is almost always a bad reason to make law. A toddler in Britain was struck and killed when some moron takes potshots at a fire crew with an airgun.

The guy was convicted of murder. But the toddler’s parents are now pushing for a nationwide ban on airguns.

Thanks to Jude Blanchette for the tip.

Anderson, North South Carolina: No couches on the front porch.

It may soon be illegal to lie about your military record in order to impress women.

The Netherlands: Clean out your car, or face a hefty fine.

No windmills over 60 feet in Washington State.

It was just a matter of time, wasn’t it?

A New Jersey lawmaker wants to ban smoking in cars.

Seat belts for dogs:

A state lawmaker is pushing for doggy seat belts on the advice of an 11-year-old constituent. Marc McCann of Green Tree came up with the idea as part of state Rep. Tom Stevenson’s annual “There Ought to be a Law” contest.

Stevenson, R-Pa., submitted a bill to the House Transportation Committee in June that would require drivers to keep their dogs’ heads inside the vehicle at all times. Stevenson also wants to require drivers to restrain the animals, either with some kind of modified seat belt or in a crate or carrier box.

God bless those limited-government Republicans. Good to know they’re seeking the wise, seasoned council of 11-year-olds before enacting public policy.

Among life’s minor annoyances:

Root canals and amateur radio operators got special days in Wisconsin this year. Emus got a whole week.

And 2005 isn’t just the Year of Languages in Wisconsin. It’s also the Year of Aldo Leopold Nature Center, the Year of Land and Water Conservation and the Year of Mental Health Awareness.

Gov. Jim Doyle has issued about 1,000 proclamations since taking office in 2003.

Here’s a site that keeps track of this kind of thing. No, this isn’t exactly tyranny. As far as dumb laws go, we have far worse. But it is the picture of an entitlement society.

Only he’s using it without a hint of irony.

Good Lord. A Califonia assemblyman actually hosts an annual contest called “There Oughtta Be a Law” in which he invites his constituents to submit ideas on how to restrict one another’s freedom. He then submits the “winners” as actual bills to the California legislature. Unreal.

Via H&R.

Spain apparently has a law requiring men to do half the housework.

Bizarre.

Don’t know how I’ve missed this one:

A Massachusetts lawmaker wants to prohibit children from riding in the backs of shopping carts.

Special mission creep bonus: The bill was refered to the Committe on Public Safety and Homeland Security.

Virginia imposes a 30-day waiting on men who want to get a vasectomy.