The media seems to have a great deal of fun with Paul’s position on abolishing a host of federal agencies, including FEMA, the IRS, the Dept. of Education, DHS, the Depts. of Energy and Commerce, and many others. We heard the same guffaws when Newt Gingrich made similar pledges after the GOP revolution of 1994 (though the Republicans didn’t have the guts to actually go through with axing any federal agencies). Now you hear Republicans levy the same charges at Paul supporters. Those loons. They want to abolish entire government bureaucracies!

Stephen Colbert and John Stewart played the “which agencies are you crazy enough to eliminate” game when they had Paul on their respective shows. You can see it inthis Reddit thread. And of course, the media loves to snicker at what cleaves of federal bloat Paul would hack away with his ax.

So here’s my question: Why do candidates who propose abolishing federal agencies get painted as fringe wackjobs, while candidates who propose we create multiple new ones are viewed as inspiring visionaries?

Candidate A says, “This cabinet-level federal agency isn’t working, and hasn’t in the 30 years of its existence, despite an ever-increasing budget. Let’s abolish it and save the taxpayers money.” Candidate B says, “This cabinet-level federal agency isn’t working, and hasn’t in the 30 years of its existence, despite an ever-increasing budget. Let’s spend more money on it!”

Candidate A is invariably painted as a nut, while candidate B, who’s parroting ol’ Al Einstein’s very definition of insanity, is cast as the clear-thinking, optimistic guy with all the good ideas.

Are America’s public schools better today than they were in 1980, when the Department of Education was created? Anybody really feel safer since DHS came along in 2003 to take away our toothpaste, put 700,000 names on the terrorist list, and mismanage FEMA? Anyone think the free market in America would buckle if we abolished the orgy of corporate welfare that is the Department of Commerce? What would happen if we got rid of the Department of Agriculture, which has more federal employees on its payroll than there are actual farmers in America? Here’s my guess: No one would starve to death. The DEA has been around for nearly 35 years, now. We’ve spent nearly a trillion dollars fighting the drug war. How’s that working out? I don’t smoke marijuana. But if I wanted to, I could buy a bag of the stuff right now, and be back on my couch with a lit joint in about five minutes. I could probably be wiping cocaine residue from my nostril in about ten.

It’s a trite libertarian line, but it’s true: When a division of a corporation fails, a smart corporation eliminates it. When an entire corporation fails, it goes under. When divisions of government agencies fail, they get more money. When entire agencies fail, they tend to get duplicated.

But propose we eliminate any of them, and you might as well be sipping rainbow tea with Father Time and Dennis Kucinich.

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