“I am a Sex Offender — For Life”

Thursday, September 6th, 2012

Folks, it’s Lenore from Free-Range Kids, back here because I just got this email and it points very clearly to the path we must take: CHANGE THE SEX OFFENDER LAWS which are, as this “offender” himself notes, harsher than those we mete out for murder — even when what we’re talking about is CONSENSUAL SEX between two teens. – L. 

I am a registered sex offender. My convictions were CSC 4th degree (statutory rape) and CSC 3rd degree. Both occurred in the State of Michigan, my first when I was 17. I was involved with my FIRST girlfriend, who was just about to turn 16 at the time of the offense (we started seeing each other when I was 16 and she was just about to turn 14 and headed into her freshman year of HS.) My second conviction came almost a year later to the day. I was on probation, admittedly not following orders as I was already listed on the sex offender registry, had been expelled from HS 3 months before graduating due to the conviction and convinced my life was pretty much over as I knew it. I ended up in a situation where a young woman lied to me about her age (15 when she was really 13) and I engaged in some sexual activity with her. Cops found out a couple of days later and after being told she was claiming forced rape, I told them what really happened and was given the good ole boy “we knew she was lying” routine, but even if it was not forced it did not matter I knew I was in big trouble because I found out then that she was only 13 and I was now 18.

I was looked at as predator because I was increasing in age and my “victims” were decreasing in age and sentenced to prison for a period of 1 1/2 years to 22 1/2 years.
Now i want to make a few of things perfectly clear. 1) Prison probably saved my life, I was a good kid way in way over his head with partying and living recklessly. 2) For my first conviction I was sentenced to 30 days in jail, 2 years probation and sex offender treatment, along with the mandatory 25 years on the Sex Offender Registry. 3) I was not a Leave-It-to-Beaver kid by any means. I did have issues with sex addiction and low self esteem but had no idea where or who to turn to in order to work on those issues 4) I was never put into treatment of any kind during my probation, my PO kept saying we would get to it eventually, which I did not understand because according the them I was some monster who needed to be tracked and monitored.
That being said, putting a non-violent statutory rapist in the same prison (my prison was actually a sex offender “compound” there was only about a 12 % segment of the population who were not sex offenders) as pedophiles, violent rapists, and true predators can create some very warped views and mindsets.
Eventually I was released and put on 2 years of parole, and after a very bumpy 2 years and a very understanding parole officer who knew I was inherently not a bad person, I was able to get off of parole.
Fast forward almost 7 years later and I am now 31, in college for the first time and doing quite well, but it took a LOT of false starts to get to where I am at. I deal with the registry because I have to, since I committed two sex offenses I am now on it for the rest of my life.
I am a level-three sex offender according to Arizona, the state in which I now reside, and that will also probably never change.
While I can see how my actions led to my incarceration and accept that there must be some punishment for breaking the law, I fail to see how having the stigma of being a “sex offender”  hanging over my head for the rest of my life does myself or society any good.
The young man who was convicted of sex crimes at the age of 17 and 18 has finally grown up and I am in no way of the same mindset as I was back then. It’s a process we know as maturing. But I will forever be judged and seen by those actions of my past.
The system is not fair, and justice very rarely can be assigned to more than one party, especially if they are on opposing sides. But at one point can guys (and women) like me, who have served their time and are doing everything they follow the law and become useful members of society, get some sort of relief?
Sex offenders in today’s society face many obstacles, many of them crippling to say the least. With housing options limited, job opportunities almost nil (hope you like working in restaurants or telemarketing), and a legal system designed to induce failure rather than facilitate success, the pathway to become a useful member of society is littered with sinkholes and quicksand.  I could have killed someone and have gotten a lighter maximum sentence, no registry and probably better employment opportunities than I have come across thus far.
I do not cry myself to sleep at night, nor am I hopeless. But I know the cards are stacked against me. My career options are limited to say the least and given the state of the nation these days, even with my college degree in hand down the road, my future is somewhat uncertain.
I am not a danger to society, I am not some monster who you need to be warned about. I am someone’s son, brother, mentor, and a friend to many. I am not a hardened career criminal, I am not going to peek in your blinds or steal your baby. I was a young man who made a series of very poor decisions and will pay for them for the rest of his life. And worse of all? I am not unique, I am not alone. There are many more like me, and they may not have the courage or means to speak up, so I am speaking up for them.


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69 Responses to ““I am a Sex Offender — For Life””

  1. #1 |  The Late Andy Rooney | 

    @marie

    “But that’s legal, isn’t it?”

    Actually, mere thoughts can get a person arrested these days. If anyone remembers Scott Ritter, he was sentenced to one and a half to five and a half years in prison. His crime: masturbating in front of a web cam for, and engaging in sexually explicit online conversations with, an undercover cop posing as a fifteen year old girl.

    Now, Ritter’s conduct hardly qualifies him for Citizen of the Year, but prison for thinking (or fantasizing) that the person on the other end was a minor?! And one really has to wonder about a society in which cops devote their time to these sorts of “stings.”

  2. #2 |  Maria | 

    Some commentators seem to be missing the point that once you’re on one of these lists you’re on it for life. There is no getting your name removed. This is a life-time punishment that enables the state to control an increasing number of men.

    It’s control. That’s all it is about. The people on the sex offender registries, no matter what their classification, get told where to live, who they can come in contact with, what jobs they can hold, if they can vote, where and when they can travel, and what they can buy.

    Forget about the question “Do i like the guy? Is he cute and cuddly and pure?” Seriously? So what if he was a fuck up? He served his time.

    Is an individuals “likability” what our legal system should be about? How is a life time sentence at all OK in cases such as the above “asshole” and how does it not violate the 8th amendment?

    What, because we don’t already have an enormous unemployable underclass of people with felony convictions thanks to the follies of the drug and consensual sex war? We need even more?

  3. #3 |  marie | 

    It’s all for the children, Late Andy. We must protect the children. Even the imaginary ones.

    Not making fun of the idea of protecting children–I would do anything to protect mine from real danger. Real dangers would include LEOs running through my house with their guns drawn.

    Cops devote their time to these stings because that’s where the money is. More convictions = more money.

  4. #4 |  Or gone | 

    Right on. The guy plainly says he has changed and he also plainly says the 13 year old he fucked gave consent.

    Anyone who would doubt this man’s word is clearly a fascist.

  5. #5 |  marie | 

    Or gone, what is your problem? The guy did his time. What more do you want from him? You seem to want him to suffer for the rest of his life because of what he did.

    Well, guess what? You are getting your way; your way is the way things work now. This guy IS going to suffer for the rest of his life. So STFU.

    I can’t imagine why you are interested in this discussion.

  6. #6 |  Maria | 

    @ 47 Jesus H. Christ girl/guy. Get a grip. He WAS a troubled idiot young man who had sex with troubled idiot young women (or at least one’s who presented themselves as such). A fucked up teen (who should have known better but still a teen) having sex with other fucked up teens.

    But because you think he’s a shit sandwich (ie. you don’t like him – wtf does ‘like’ that have to do with justice again?) and without knowing anything else about him you are 100% certain that he’s a lying scumbag.

    So let’s go ahead, let’s punish him and other guys like him for their entire life time because we think they are lying and we feel they might, maybe, possibly, could do something else at some point, somewhere, somehow. Yup.

    Wait… That’s how it is right now. Justice has been served!

  7. #7 |  Leon Wolfeson | 

    @16 – Sure, except she said she was *15*.

    Which is where my particular sympathy rather dies.

    I’m for tight control over who’s listed on sex offender registries, and for them not to be available to the public…but the gent in the op would meet the criteria for listing, afaik.

    I’d never be happy with him taking a job which involved contact with kids. Sorry if that offends anyone.

    (Of course, the FIRST case would have been dismissed as not in the Public Interest to prosecute in the UK…)

  8. #8 |  elcrabofanger | 

    @47

    Or gone, you’re missing the point. Or you’re just a troll. Or both. But willfully ignoring what other people are saying just to reiterate that you personally think someone is a shit sandwich (and possibly a liar to boot) doesn’t make you look like the world’s most skilled thinker. Saying “Never mind that, think of the children” over and over again isn’t going to win you any friends, especially here. So yeah, the guy had sex with a 13-year-old girl. For that, he’s punished. He did a bad thing. He shouldn’t have done it. And while I don’t believe for a second that this guy is lying about his circumstances, for the sake or argument let’s go ahead and assume that he forcibly and brutally raped that girl (once again pointing out that I don’t believe that to be the case). If that is the case, apparently he got off lightly. But even if he’d been thrown in prison for 50 years, should he then be registered for life? Are murderers registered for life? Do killers have to report to all and sundry that they’re moving into the neighborhood? Should people caught taking a drunken leak in public be lumped into the same category as violent child rapists, with no way to tell the two apart?

    Answer the questions. Jerk.

  9. #9 |  C. S. P. Schofield | 

    Or Gone;

    In other words, its fine with you if the State (which NEVER makes bad decisions) uses mob hysteria to punish some jerk in a way not spelled out to the jury that convicted him … if he ever actually GOT a jury trial.

    When and if the Police State I expect to live out my life under manifests, I will take comfort in the knowledge that when it catches up to YOU it will be a manifestation of cosmic justice.

  10. #10 |  liberranter | 

    @Snowdog: What happened to your friend happens more often than most people are willing to admit. What is esepcially galling is the fact that the little whore didn’t suffer any repercussions for 1) committing fraud by using a fake ID to lie about her age and 2) committing fraud by claiming to have had non-consensual sex (at least I’m assuming that she told the cops that it was non-consensual).

    I can think of some really nasty remedies that would put an immediate stop to this kind of manipulation, but I’d probably be labeled a sadistic misogynist for listing them.

  11. #11 |  liberranter | 

    WIreform said:

    I was a girl so I got even more benefit of the doubt. And if I were a vindictive soul I could have put at least a dozen boys in prison and on the registry for LIFE had I wanted to.

    Girls are manipulative, vindictive and cruel, to each other, to their peers, to anyone that gets in their way of what THEY want or believe they need. They also base 90% of their decisions of how they ‘feel’ about it on an emotional level not pratically. If you don’t believe me, ask your mother, the behavior of girls hasn’t changed all that much in the last 70 years, just the publicity of it all has changed…

    WOW, I can’t believe that a woman is actually vocalizing what so many men out there are thinking. I wish it weren’t true, but only a moron, or someone living in a cave without contact with human civilization for the last several decades would argue with anything you’ve said.

    This is why, as Fred Reed so brilliantly put it in one of his many epistles of wisdom a few years back, American men need to “keep [their] DNA to [them]selves.”

  12. #12 |  liberranter | 

    The silver lining to the very dark cloud of Sex Offender Registries, and the abuse thereof is this: very soon, if it hasn’t happened already, people will stop taking them seriously and completely ignore them.

    I know that if I met someone who admitted to being on one, or if I discovered that someone I knew was on one, I wouldn’t think a thing of it. Just like I no longer consider someone having done jail/prison time to be any kind of stigma. What passes for “law,” “justice,” and “punishment” in this fascialist (thank you, Tom DiLorenzo) excuse for a country has become so perverted that what was originally intended as, and once actually legitimately used to punish crimes against natural law (i.e., actual violent crimes against person and property) has become a politicized weapon that has claimed more victims than it has restored justice. Given the absolutely criminal amorality of district attorneys offices and criminal courts, and given the unstoppable conviction machines that the courts have become, I no longer have any faith whatsoever that justice has been done by any of them or the people who staff them. As far as I’m concerned, there is so little integrity in the system that nine out ten people currently locked up are probably either innocent of any crime, are serving time under a coerced plea bargain having nothing to do with anything they’ve actually done or not done, or have been locked up under conditions grossly disproportionate to any actual offense they might have committed. I would, therefore, free all of them, right this minute, if I had the power to do so. In other words, I’d restore the presumption of innocence.

    But wouldn’t that create a great “danger to society?”

    Probably, but the PTB should have thought of that before they corrupted and compromised the system beyond salvage.

    SO, you guys and gals who are unfortunate enough to find yourselves on SORs, let me just say that not only do I feel for you, but I fully support your right to live as freely as any of the rest of us – to the extent that any of us can live “free” in this incipient Reichssicherheitsstaat. I would welcome you as my neighbors. Were I a business owner, I would gladly hire you for positions for which you were qualified, demanding no more than what I’d demand of any other employee (i.e., competence and dedication to the job). All of this despite your presence on a SOR. In fact, were I not a libertarian, I’d be very tempted to practice “reverse discrimination” and give you preferential hiring treatment over some of the sanctimonious scumbags who would have you paying for your (non-)crimes for the rest of your lives, just to tweak the majority’s –and the State’s– nose.

    So hang in there. One of these days, common sense, like gravity, is going to inevitably reassert itself.

  13. #13 |  Or gone | 

    I wonder if this guy though he was a “danger to society” when he was diddling 13 year olds?

    And, boy, talk about your bad luck. The only two teenagers this guy ever raped both resulted in charges. What are the odds?

  14. #14 |  Or gone | 

    Liberanter- your concern for pedophile rapists is touching. Why not put your thoughts into action. You can easily locate maps and lists of pedophile rapists who live near you and hire them to mow your yard or babysit your kids.

    Heck, if you can’t afford that, I’d bet that lots of them would be happy if you’d buy them a beer and tell them of your warm regards.

    Remember, you are the change you’ve been waiting for.

  15. #15 |  To Or gone | 

    Hey bro … I hope you have a young neighbor or pissed off family member who does not like you. She can then tell the family or police that you touched her or forced her to do something improper. This happens all the time. The authorities will take her word without question and arrest you because they are just doing their job. This puts your name into the federal database as a suspect. Even if you are not convicted of any crime you will be on this sex offenders list.

    We all know you are a fool but we also know you dont belong on that list … but what we know does not matter because you will be on that list regardless. The system does not care about the details and your life will be screwed up. A life sentence for a mistake…sounds about fair in YOUR opinion. Walk a mile in someone elses shoes then you will know.

    The reasons for the database is valid, the execution of the law is crap.

  16. #16 |  liberranter | 

    Trollgone, I’m not going to waste digits trying to reason with you because I know it would be pointless. Let’s just say that it’s creatures like you who are behind the utter destruction of the justice system that once existed in this country. Crying wolf at every breath means that no one believes you when the real creature appears.

    If I believed in reincarnation, I’d peg you as a return of some ignorant redneck who tried (and failed) to farm a piece of wasteland during the day and who led lynch mobs by night.

  17. #17 |  Socrates | 

    Abolish the draconian, oppressive sex offender laws. Abolish the age of consent laws. (These are yet another creation of the progressive era.) Return to personal responsibility and individual liberty. A sexual assault is only an act of violence or coercion against another, and the law should strictly observe this principle which is based on the non-aggression principle. Consensual, non-violent acts are not crimes.

  18. #18 |  Cheryl | 

    He lost me when he used the phrase “sex addiction.” I always have, and always will, think that is a load of crap. I think there’s a lot more to this story than just the two situations he described here. That being said, I do think the registry is a joke. As one of the other commenters said, at some point, no one will pay any attention to it. I’m already there.

    And wow…the vitriol against teenage girls…geez, people, get a grip. You make them all out to be some sort of mind controlling monsters. I think someone got dissed by the popular girls back in high school and the rest of you never dated the homecoming queen.

  19. #19 |  Technomad | 

    I’d be marginally (_marginally_) more sympathetic to the “protect the CHILL-DRUNN” types if they weren’t also the ones who gleefully do all they can to take kids as young as twelve and throw them into the adult court system, with adult-level punishments, if they’re accused of serious crimes. If twelve is old enough to be put in the slam for life, it’s old enough to f*ck. Make up your minds, people.

    And my ideas for what to do with girls who deliberately lie about their age when they’re supposed to be “off limits” would make that guy in _Law Abiding Citizen_ puke. Or throw himself on the floor at my feet, chanting “I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy! Teach me, sensei! I am only an egg!”