I even graduated to pens while still a young girl and then I mastered the most dangerous game of all.

Fountain pens.

It seems this is now considered a major accomplishment. I feel that I should have gotten a medal at some point. Come to think of it… I’ll just go and steal one from the nearest child.

No pencils were confiscated following that incident, however.

-jcr

Admit it, you are just pissed you never got that Red Rider BB gun.

The kid could also strangle himself or others with that dangerous ribbon attached to the medal, or swing the medal around with the ribbon and fracture their skull.

Tie several together on a stick and by God you have a fail!!! The horror.

Of course, if I were 10 I’d think having a flail would be freaking awesome….till I beaned myself in the head with it.

Hopefully someday your friend will feel comfortable enough to come out of the closet.

The poor guy.

Alternately, find a two-gallon enema bag and mount a “World’s Biggest Douchebag” sign on it.

That’s theft, not confiscation. Confiscation is taking someone else’s property for some legally justifiable cause.

-jcr

Anyway, after the creek incident we teamed up with my friends older brother and the 3 of us picked up and scooted his car sideways in the garage as a revenge prank. He only had about 2 feet of clearance, so he couldn’t drive his way out of it. Spent the whole next day in the driveway with the local cops and a Polaroid taking pictures of tire marks in the driveway.

Eventually the police figured out he was a crank and quit hassling us when he called them out…. they’d just drive by and wave. I shudder to think what could have happened if we’d been less courteous and respectful to the police – even knowing that we were not doing anything illegal. (well, other than the time we turned his car sideways… but you can’t really count that one)

A few years later I learned that the neighbor had lost his 5 year old son to a hit and run driver in the street in front of his house in the quiet suburban subdivision. That explained why he was such a paranoid dick. I didn’t regret the prank, but I do feel for the guy and now I understand what he was dealing with. You never know until you walk a mile in their shoes….

We’re talking about kids, John.

I don’t know what you mean by “this”. If you’re asking whether I’m serious: I am. It was a lousy job of design whether considered from an aesthetic or safety standpoint. It’s basic Murphy: if you don’t want something to poke holes in things where holes shouldn’t be, don’t make it pointy because as sure as fate, if you do, it will.