Rejected Band Names

Saturday, July 14th, 2012

From discussions with friends about getting the remnants of an old band back together. For reference, most of us are college radio veterans.

  1. Kenny Rogers’ Racial Armageddon
  2. Noisy Brute
  3. INFJ (the Meyers-Briggs profile of many of the members)
  4. The Slaughterhouse Cases
  5. Suspiricon
  6. Ye Are Kung Fu
  7. Lonesome, Ornery and Mean
  8. Our Confederate Dead
  9. We’ve Got A Sousaphone, And We’re Gonna Use It

The name we’ve tentatively settled on, of course, is much better than any of these.

— Patrick at Popehat

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31 Responses to “Rejected Band Names”

  1. #1 |  C. S. P. Schofield | 

    The mind boggles.

  2. #2 |  Jeff | 

    I don’t know, LOM has a nice feel to it.

  3. #3 |  Burgers Allday | 

    I know I linked this in the other thread, but my band Umberzap The Subject, just put out our first song/vid:

    The band name is taken from a sample used in the song to cover up me singing the following lyric: “lily white whore.”

    “Burgers, really?!?” (TM)

  4. #4 |  Ghost | 

    I’ve been through this as well:
    1. Ned Flanders Is The Anti-Christ
    2. The Kaks (hangs-to-the-left punk)
    3. Raging Piss Inferno
    4. Don’t Be That Guy
    5. Let’s All Kill Macauly Culkin
    6. Tommy Lee and the Joneses

    The name we settled on? Dime A Dozen.

  5. #5 |  Sean Clark | 

    This is tougher without a band genre.

    SLAPP (upside the head)

    Motion Practice

  6. #6 |  that guy | 


  7. #7 |  (B)oscoH, Yogurt Eater | 

    I guess none of you were English majors in college. “Ornery” needs a comma after it.

  8. #8 |  Patrick from Popehat | 

    The Oxford comma has been rejected. By Oxford.

    And it’s a quote from Billy Joe Shaver, who also wasn’t an English major, though he was a better writer than I am, and a better writer than you, for that matter.

  9. #9 |  John Jenkins | 

    This is what happens when writers procrastinate.

  10. #10 |  ClubMedSux | 

    As a lawyer myself, I would enforce a strict rule of no legal puns/references, so I’m glad you rejected the Slaughterhouse Cases.

    On a side note, my co-worker was going through this process recently and pretty much every suggestion was some sort of pop culture pun like “Gonad O’Brien”. I hope the lack of bad puns in your list means that you’re not even considering them (as opposed to meaning that the bad pun names are the only ones you HAVEN’T rejected).

  11. #11 |  Bramblyspam | 

    Back in the days, I used to have a cassette tape in my car that was labeled, in big black bold letters, “HEAD CLEANER”. I always thought that would make quite the name for some hard rock band.

  12. #12 |  Patrick from Popehat | 


    #6 is a pun. A very obscure one.

  13. #13 |  (B)oscoH, Yogurt Eater | 

    Oxford still says to use one when it reduces ambiguity. And on this side of the pond, the opposition mainly comes from newspapers that are optimizing column width. The Oxford comma reduces ambiguity in most cases, which is why it’s good to keep it in standard American English.

    But this little pissing match aside, it does suggest a great name for a band, which already exists!

    The Oxford Coma

  14. #14 |  En Passant | 

    Ten that surfaced in my fevered brane, in no particular order.

    Uh oh, refreshed before posting. This is gonna get some ClubMedSux points on my doggerel license:

    1. Donovan’s Appendix (for SF and Filk buffs)

    2. Anthropocentric Global Smarmies (guaranteed to piss off somebody somewhere)

    3. Jefferson Hairpie (Damn! Already taken.)

    5. The Strolling Bones (Double damn!)

    6. Nickel Tourney Hooligans (uh oh, racking up multilingual ClubMedSux points)

    7. Bummer Every Summer (sorry, Frank, but I stole it fair and square)

    8. Chocolate Whitebread (more ClubMedSux points, mitigated by ’60s reference)

    9. Carbolic Smokeballs (with chanteuse Liz Carlill for double points)

    10. Frigaliment and the Funky Chickens. (Stop me before I kill again!)

    Hey! There’s no 4!

    OK, so What’s a Tuba?

    I’m outta here.

  15. #15 |  Longtorso | 

    The Super Happy Fun Land online calendar is always good for band names:

    Accidental Goat Sodomy
    Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix

    and the like

  16. #16 |  Nancy Lebovitz | 


  17. #17 |  Ghost | 

    There’s a band in Portland called I Can Lick Any Son Of A Bitch In This Place. Apparently a reference to a boxer or something.

  18. #18 |  Wade Preston | 

    I also like Lonesome Ornery and Mean, but to me it brings Waylon Jennings to mind, not Billy Joe Shaver.

    If I ever get an Americana band together, which will probably be never, I’d probably go with A Horse Called Further. You’d have to be a David Halley fan to get the reference but I’m thinking that it also stands on its own.

    My long-running post-punk band name would’ve been Johnny Deformed, but it looks like somebody beat me to it.

  19. #19 |  pierre | 

    Patrick, I like you more all the time. Not alot of people know the music of Billy Joe Shaver.

  20. #20 |  Mikey C | 

    Mr. MRSA

    Yes, I’m for 86

    Flaming Dog Poo and the Human Response

    The Lying BItch and her Wardrobe

    Potato Flakes

  21. #21 |  Dead Lenny | 

    ‘The Janitors of Anarchy’ (courtesy E. Boucher) is the best name I’ve ever heard.

    Being of a literary bent, might I suggest ‘Night of Joy’ (the bar from “A Confederacy of Dunces”) or ‘The Marlowes’ (R. Chandler’s seminal character); with the latter, the band could perform wearing fedoras and trenchcoats.

  22. #22 |  The Other Dan | 

    The Blue Ridge Mountain 4-Wheel-Drive Mounted Drum and Sousa-Corps Boogie-Woogie Band

  23. #23 |  Helmut O' Hooligan | 

    I remember being really annoyed to find out that I wasn’t the first to come up with “The Cunning Linguists” for a band name. At any rate, here are several suggestions that I don’t think are taken:

    1.) The Iscariots
    2.) It’s All Right Maaa, I’m Only Bleating (Ooh sorry)
    3.) Scrotal Mass
    4.) Dick Cheney’s Back-up Heart
    5.) The Five Chodes (unsure on proper spelling)

    Thank you in advance for your consideration. I’m better at cumming…err…coming up with porno titles, so if there is a thread for that some day I’ll be back!

  24. #24 |  CyniCAl | 

    The Plural Nouns

  25. #25 |  Pete | 

    “Snort My Taint” comes to mind. Hmmm, where have I heard that before?

  26. #26 |  DaveG | 

    Herb Supply

  27. #27 |  (B)oscoH, Yogurt Eater | 

    Another great band name would be The Tallack Straws. Apparently, a Tallack Straw is a tool made in Belfast, NI that is designed for extracting Santorum. The tool itself is named for Peter “The Dog Measurer” Tallack, who has gained worldwide infamy for condemning Lennox to death.

  28. #28 |  Ed | 

    Teen Laqueefa and the Cold Cut Combo

  29. #29 |  Inkberrow | 

    Kotex Opera

    Hair Supply


  30. #30 |  Jeff Johnson | 

    weiner cancer

  31. #31 |  CyniCAl | 

    Dirty Sanchez and The Cleveland Steamers