See, this can easily be explained, too. it has nothing to do with the woman being a prostitute and everything to do with the fact that some men hate women and do things to hurt them. Wives get beat. Girlfriends have to take out restraining orders. Daughters learn to put on mascara heavily to hide the bruises. These things happen, unfortunately, all the damned time.

Some men are just bastards, and the fact that working girls typically can’t go to the police to get redress from an abusive john for fear of being prosecuted, herself, just leads to them being easier targets for these a-holes. The violence and so forth has nothing to do with their being a prostitute and everything with their being an easy target.

Statistically speaking, a prostitute is less likely to have family that will miss her if she doesn’t come home. She is less likely to be able to go to the police to get help. She is less likely to GET any help even if she does go to the police (you can’t rape a whore, they will say). See what I mean?

Generally speaking, I don’t think that you are seeing rage against whores, per se, but rage against women in general, and whores are just an easy target.

My favorite retort to anyone who says he never paid for it is: “Oh, so you prefer to get your sex exclusively by begging and lying?”

I’d gladly bet with every man reading this that they’ve paid for sex with every woman they’ve had it with, just the payment wasn’t necessarily in cash. I know I’d come out ahead overall. Because unless every sexual encounter you had was what the author of “The Fear of Flying” called a “zipless fuck” (you meet, you have sex, you go your separate ways never to see each other again, in that order and about that fast), you paid for it.

But as to Maggie’s question about what term to use, don’t forget tart (mentioned above in the joke told by #1)., which means “a prostitute or a promiscuous woman. “

Been reading your posts and trying to imagine myself buying sex.

I’m the same – heck, I don’t even enjoy it as much with my wife if she’s just doing it for my benefit.

It isn’t even old puritanical beliefs systems at work, in my opinion, making it different. it is 1,000s of years of experience in the matter.

The fact is that up until pretty recently, a woman having sex with a man was putting herself at risk of pregnancy every time, and that pregnancy without the security of a male breadwinner throughout most of history was a very, very bad thing for women, when back int he day, she was likely not going to be able to win the bread herself as well as take care of her kids (which used to be a full time job just in and of itself – just think about putting up enough food for winter and doing laundry without any modern convenience – it was a daunting task, no doubt).

Modern society has made this less of an issue, what with reliable birth control and modern conveniences that make it possible for a woman to both win the bread and care for a family, but the hard-wired predilection towards looking at sex a little differently is still there.

None of this is to be taken as a personal endorsement of single motherhood, since I still believe that two parents (even non-traditional parents) is better than one for a lot of different reasons. It’s just that sex and motherhood don’t have to be tied together anymore, but the old belief systems are still there.

That being said, my personal predilection is towards monogamy and marriage, since that is what I went after, have, and am quite happy living with. However, I’m not ignorant enough to think that my way is the only way to live, nor am I trying to say that marrying someone without first determining that you’re sexually compatible is a good idea, either. i had partners before I got married, so I’m certainly not a “save yourself for marriage” type of person.

As for men who are prejudiced against sex workers, i think I can speak to that, also. I do not think that i could have married my wife had she been a prostitute prior to our meeting, and I certainly would not have been okay with her being one after we got together, and the reason for that is entirely selfish – I want to be special to my special person because I am still tied up in the belief that sex is special, and a special thing that a man and wife share. I want intimacy to be between me and her, and no one else, because my ego could not withstand her sharing her body with another man. Period. It is entirely selfish. Her turning our special intimacy into a commodity that could be bought and sold would degrade the quality of that special intimacy between us in my eyes, and would probably result in the relationship not working out. i have no doubt that my wife feels the same way. it’s why we chose monogamy and marriage, and why straying from that monogamy would result in an end to our relationship. I’m having trouble explaining it, so I hope you understand that men’s disrespect for working girls springs from her commoditizing something that they (subconsciously, at least) think should be theirs, and theirs alone.

Guys like Maggie’s husband are either wired differently than guys like me to not have that hangup, or their ego is strong enough to withstand that selfish desire to have her all to himself.

yes, it is kind of terrible in a way, but I can live with that as long as she can, also. They say that one must “know thyself” and I am willing to accept me for all my flaws and faults, and one of those is that I am simply too insecure to allow my wife to sleep with another man, nor be involved with a woman who does so for a living. So far, we’ve been together happily for 15 years and it is working for us.

Did any of that make sense?

Maggie, do you have any theories about why many men are prejudiced against female sex workers? The prejudice seems very weird to me– as though people who love food would be prejudiced against those who cook for money.

Thanks for the detailed etymology– it was amazing to see similar sounds echoing through so many languages.

“Whore” just sounds like scum

I’m wondering if you read the post?

Yeah, technically she’s the trick and he’s the gigolo, since the money came from her daddy’s government-supported liquor monopoly.

-jcr

If I wanted to insult any woman I’d call her a Feinstein, but that’s just me…

-jcr

And I’m following your blog now, if for ulterior motives: if I could find an “escort” (my preferred term) in a manner that was safe (that is, wouldn’t get me arrested or beaten up or give me an STD or cost me my job) I’d do it in a heartbeat. Educate me!

The Firefly pushers are not misleading you. The Inara character mentioned above is worlds away from the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold stock character we’ve all been conditioned to expect in dramatic portrayals of the profession.

The show even describes a more or less libertarian system for providing security in the sex trade, since it’s the clients who have to compete for good ratings and avoid any behavior that might get them blacklisted by a network of self-employed providers.

Plus, the central government is totally evil…and look, you’ve just got to watch the series.

I think we need to claim the word “slut” to refer to the Tiger Woodses of the world who sleep around. It shouldn’t just be for women.

I hope you mean “joygirl” and not the Finnish “ilotyttö”, which I presume non-Finns would have trouble pronouncing. ;-) If memory serves, Finnish also has the word “ilotalo” which literally translates to “joyhouse” but means “brothel”.