And Now She Knows Just What It’s Like To be a Victim

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

We should set up some sort of fund so this poor reporter can get proper counseling.

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29 Responses to “And Now She Knows Just What It’s Like To be a Victim”

  1. #1 |  Sorenzeo | 

    Thank god that monster is off the streets.

  2. #2 |  Lou | 

    Can’t wait for Ashley’s Law to stop this horrendous, horrendous(note the double usage of horrendous…it’s THAT horrendous!) crime from happening again.

  3. #3 |  Jamie | 

    “Through a lot of good police work, and our good relations with the media…”

    (I didn’t quote that directly, I can’t handle watching it again.)

  4. #4 |  Difster | 

    The poor dear, she must barely be able to sleep at night now.

  5. #5 |  EH | 

    Reporters are notoriously thin-skinned. No wonder she called the cops.

  6. #6 |  (B)oscoH | 

    So she goes onto the set of Hancock II and gets all bent out of shape when Will Smith gets jiggy with her mic? Child, please.

  7. #7 |  CyniCAl | 

    Lucky for the perp he was taken into (protective) custody. A black guy gets that close to a white girl in South Carolina and the local Triple-K will bring down the banhammer.

    As for the reporter, I’m sure the Streisand Effect will be her reward.

  8. #8 |  Judas Peckerwood | 

    That’ll teach him to mess with an official LEO propagandist.

  9. #9 |  Dave Krueger | 

    I can tell you’re being sarcastic, but looking at it mathematically, according to the cop, there had been zero incidents of this kind of crime reported in the past, which means that a single event constitutes a sudden infinite increase in the rate of that particular crime. So, given that the guy they have locked up is responsible for a new crime wave, they will probably throw the book at him beginning with the soon to be announced Ashley Taylor’s Law making it a crime to touch (or record) a reporter (or government official) during the performance of their duties (despite any perception that laws are being broken).

  10. #10 |  OBTC | 

    O my freaking G –

    Please please someone tell me this is from The Onion?!!

  11. #11 |  GT | 

    @#9 Dave Kreuger… don’t make jokes like that, old horse: before you know it, some fucking douchebozzle from the badge-licking community will be parrotting EXACTLY those words (‘infinite growth in this type of crime’) so that jackbooted blackshirt thugscrums can descend on yet more of our fellow men.

    Also – not wanting to be pedantic about the ‘math’ as Yanks call it… but given another few glasses of wine I could make a case (using l’Hôpital’s Theorem) that the nature of the data generating process for this type of incident means that the growth per unit time in any sort of crime

    (which equals {d(f(X))/d(X)} . {d(X)/d(t)} by the chain rule)

    will collapse to ln(X), in the same way that a CRRA utility function

    {c^(1-theta) -1}/{1-theta}

    collapses to log-utility when the risk-aversion parameter (theta) is set to one.

    Dammit, Radley… how hard would it be to enable LaTeX (or ooMath) in the comments?

    (I’m kidding, of course… it’s Friday afternoon here in “Straya”, so I’m 3 sheets to the wind already. Plus, nobody in their right mind would argue for unconstrained algebra in comments: I have LaTeX in my blog editor, but if someone wants to math at me in the comments they have to do it the kludgy way.)

  12. #12 |  LN | 

    Does the “GT” stand for Gin and Tonic?

  13. #13 |  Oscarbob | 

    Our delicate victim is a graduate of Bob Jones University. Nuff said.
    h/t Balloon Juice

  14. #14 |  CSD | 

    My favorite line of hers is below. It is good to see her dreams have come true because she forever can tell the world she has street cred, and I am sure she will.

    “The irony of this attack…”

    Did anyone else notice that the only other person in Myrtle Beach out on the street appears to be the guy that took her microphone. It appears a spasm of boredom just overtook him. “Your honor, what else am I supposed to do in Myrtle Beach in April this place sucks.”

  15. #15 |  Noel St. John | 

    Based on her poise and demeanor while being viciously attacked, I’d say she’s ready for bigger assignments. They should offer her a position as foreign correspondent…in Syria.

  16. #16 |  RobSmalls | 

    It’s Lara Logan in Tahrir Square all over again!

  17. #17 |  MassHole | 

    “Your honor, what else am I supposed to do in Myrtle Beach in April this place sucks.”

    That’s the straight truth. I spent a misguided spring and summer in Myrtle Beach after graduating from college. It’s a hole.

  18. #18 |  EBL | 

    Practicing journalism without a license! On camera! Oh sweet Jesus, he is practically one of those outlaw bloggers!

  19. #19 |  Alex | 

    Jamie quotes: “Through a lot of good police work, and our good relations with the media…”

    the continuation (also paraphrased): “…we were able to get a picture of the perpetrator.”

    Wow; getting a picture of the guy who mugged for a live news camera is just stellar police work.

  20. #20 |  SPO | 

    I am a law and order guy. Yeah, the guy probably committed a technical battery–but a written apology and a $50 contribution to some victims’ crime fund should square this away.

    Bizarro-world. Things can take on a sort of unreality that is remarkable. Don’t people have a sense of proportion?

  21. #21 |  karl | 

    Nice to you and John Cole on the same side again:

  22. #22 |  Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » Defining Assault Down | myrtle beach bike week | 

    […] This might be a dumbest thing we have ever seen: […]

  23. #23 |  CB | 

    Yeah–get that reporter some counseling and get the poor, innocent, and hapless microphone some restitution!

    Stupid move by the black dude? Sure. Assault? Hardly. Try covering some real news in a war zone and grow some ovaries, Ashley!

  24. #24 |  jamie | 

    h/t Balloon Juice

    Careful, we don’t want to set off an intra-southern riot again.

  25. #25 |  Other Sean | 

    Sorry Radley, but a fund already HAS been established to keep us all in an eternal surplus of victim advocates and quangoroos. Every great leap on the road to police statism has been matched by an expansion in the number of camp followers living off of the criminal justice.

    MSW grads need jobs, therefore advocates need cases. At this point there isn’t one who would turn away a victim like our friend Ashley.

    Also, #17 – Your life story seems to have been stolen to form the basis for an Aimee Mann song.

  26. #26 |  BBCC | 

    “I’m a let you finish in a minute Ashley, but CNN does the best live on-the-street news stories!”

  27. #27 |  Kevin Carson | 

    Oh, the humanity! I’m traumatized myself just watching it. I should probably lie down for a while.

  28. #28 |  Homeboy | 

    SPO, I basically agree with you, but a three-digit figure seems more appropriate.

  29. #29 |  MRA is stupid | | 

    […] This retarded newscaster’s assault charge on an otherwise hilarious jackass […]