Comments on: A sentence I never imagined I’d write.

By: EBL

EBL — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 05:38:39 +0000

I agree with #2. It is kismet!

By: Cornellian

Cornellian — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 20:45:20 +0000

What is so frightening about that story, to me, is that I had no idea such a thing could happen to a penis.

By: dhex

dhex — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:30:57 +0000

apparently the balko nutpunch is longer-lasting and more dangerous than we suspected.

By: Mike Magnus

Mike Magnus — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 02:29:41 +0000

I think you can expect the quality of future interns to go down…
“you heard what happened to the last guy, didn’t?”

By: Helmut O' Hooligan

Helmut O' Hooligan — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 20:35:43 +0000

#21 Croaker: ” I’ve been on the EMS side of that incident. It’s only funny in the aftermath”

Yeah, I would imagine. I’ve been working in healthcare security for awhile now and I haven’t seen one of these coming through ER yet. And that is fine w/ me. It’s hard enough having to hold down a combative drunk while the RN’s insert a catheter.

Now what WOULD be funny is going to one of those EMS calls where some guy–generally drunk–gets his dong stuck in a vaccum hose or pool suction device. Hah!

By: Jim Collins

Jim Collins — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 18:11:01 +0000

I wanted to make sure that I read this right and was OK, untill I saw the ad on the side of the page for a “Portable Hardness Tester”. I think I hurt myself laughing.

By: Tim C

Tim C — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 16:07:20 +0000

#22 FTW. Nicely played. Though I now am thinking “more like for an extended live version/extra verse kind of thing.”

By: Mario

Mario — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 01:27:21 +0000

I can’t read this, because I have an idea of exactly how such a thing could happen; and there but for just a tiny bit more enthusiasm and bad timing on my lady friend’s part, once upon a time, a good 15 or so years ago, would have gone I.

By: Kolohe

Kolohe — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 01:18:42 +0000

King Missile finally has enough for a follow-up single.

By: croaker

croaker — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 22:22:45 +0000

I’ve been on the EMS side of that incident. It’s only funny in the aftermath.

By: Burgers Allday

Burgers Allday — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 21:27:43 +0000

Wait, Mr. Balko, you have . . . o, nevermind.

By: quasimod

quasimod — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 21:13:12 +0000

My eyes are still watering. I may be weeping, I’m not sure yet.

By: Lucy Steigerwald

Lucy Steigerwald — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 20:48:06 +0000

I must have a lot of empathy because I did a lot of cringing and flailing while reading that essay.

By: DoubleU

DoubleU — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 20:06:43 +0000

This is terrible. First the guy breaks his dick and then you guys bust his balls.

By: Stormy Dragon

Stormy Dragon — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 19:50:00 +0000

“You can-NOT repeat this to anyone else,” I say to my friend Mike, who I work with. It feels great to be sharing the truth with someone. “Ya wanna see it?” We scurry to the office bathroom.

His office seems to have a very different corporate culture then mine…

By: Nipplemancer

Nipplemancer — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 19:43:48 +0000

#13 – I don’t think he was too concerned about the cost since he’d just done the unimaginable to his member.

By: JLTs

JLTs — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 19:28:21 +0000

After reading this I don’t feel so bad about being celibate for many years, and now in addtion to fears of things that ajax and penicillin won’t get rid of I have this concern. Yep alone isn’t all that bad.

By: Fred Mangels

Fred Mangels — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 18:38:25 +0000

I don’t see why he didn’t just drive himself to the hospital, assuming he has a car. That ambulance ride likely added at least a thousand dollars more to the cost.

By: orangeyouglad

orangeyouglad — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 18:19:47 +0000

I couldn’t read it. I tried, but I couldn’t make it passed swollen and purple. I’m going to have nightmares.

By: hamburglar007

hamburglar007 — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 17:58:13 +0000

I won’t be eating eggplant anytime soon.