Late Morning Links

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

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106 Responses to “Late Morning Links”

  1. #1 |  Debi | 

    Thanks, Leah and Fay. <3. I'm tired of repeating myself to people who have no interest in understanding what I'm saying or looking up information themselves. I've been fighting this fight since I was 12 years old, and these discussions really do get repetitive.

    Here's some reading I was doing earlier that I'm considering the full implications of:

    H. Rearden – How about you talk to me about a woman who you've met who wanted an abortion at 8 months, and what her reasoning was. I'm tired of these hypotheticals.

    Here's what I encounter in my every day life as a mom to young chldren:
    Women who are 8 months pregnant are, by that point, sick and tired of being pregnant. They want it OVER! Like, yesterday. It's hard to walk, harder to sleep, nothing fits, you're too hot or too cold, you're cranky, Braxton-Hicks contractions are annoying as all hell, and you've run out of things to do to prepare for the baby. Those little kicks and hiccups that were once so sweet and endearing are now leaving you bruised, you always feel like you need to pee, and people won't stop calling you! You're already looking into natural ways to induce to just get it over with already. You're HUGE so you start to worry about it being too big to get out. And, if you're going to an OB/GYN, you've already started hearing about plans to induce if you don't go into labor soon (especially if you're due near a holiday, when they're going on vacation, or when they have a golf game planned – and this is one reason why I recommend hiring midwives instead.)

    What do I do? I listen. I commiserate. I suggest ways to become more comfortable. I tell them how beautiful they look and how wonderfully they'll do in labor. I ask how I can help. I suggest using up some of that anxious time to prep some meals for the freezer, and get some extra rest or read that book she won't have time for later. If she's really considering induction, I talk to her about the importance of the last few weeks of pregnancy, and how inductions often lead to unnecessary c-sections which will put her in more pain than she's in now.

    What don't I do? I don't call CPS on her if she decides to induce. I don't ostracize her for making different choices than I made. I don't attack her or call her selfish or evil. I don't lecture her on her decision. I support her as a mother, as best as I can.

    It's really hard to have something growing in your body, changing what you can and can't do. It's especially hard if you don't want it there. But, even if you welcome it, it is challenging – especially at the end. If you haven't been through it, you really can't conceive of what it's like. I'm not going to attack anyone for wanting her body back.

    I think I'm done with this conversation. Same thing, over and over. Thousands of years of women being treated like chattel – it isn't going to change in just a few decades. I just have to be patient, and we'll get there eventually.

  2. #2 |  JSL | 

    “Thousands of years of women being treated like chattel – it isn’t going to change in just a few decades.”

    Except it has darling, look at the facist family courts and how they treat fathers/husbands.

    Lets say I agree with your views on abortion completely. Why should I have to pay for your birth control or abortions or births of your kids if I didn’t sire them? I don’t ask you to buy my rubbers, viagra or a vasectomy. If guys should keep their zippers shut, women should keep that aspirin between the knees. Instead we demonize men and venerate single mothers.

  3. #3 |  Sinchy | 

    Debi- Thank you for you thoughtful and often personal responses.

    I suspect most of the men who are vehemently anti-abortion are probably well enough off to support a child they don’t plan on having, like Santorum, or are just too repulsive or old to achieve sexual relations with women, like the Pope (cheap shot, but grain of truth I think)
    As a new parent I cannot think of any other choice in my life that has had so much impact on who I am emotionally or financially, and I resent those would dictate to us how we grow our family. Those that would make sacrifices or flat out suffer to support an unplanned child are to be commended if they chose to do so, but doesn’t give them a moral superiority to dictate how others plan their families. Some children are unplanned, but others are truly unwanted, and I see that as a far more terrible situation than an abortion. Also more terrible than an abortion is a woman who is forced to hurt herself because she has no way out of an unwanted pregnancy, and thank you Debi for that story you told which is a glimpse of what is to come if the anti-abortion zealots get their way.
    For those who wish to compromise on the issue, why not make the debate about how to get the number of abortions down while keeping it completely legal? If that was the goal then we would have comprehensive sex ed and coverage for birth-control, fewer abortions, fewer unwanted children, stronger families, less crime, reduced population growth etc…

    It’s really bizarre when commenters like Brandon make comparisons to Skiing as if a portion of my insurance premiums wouldn’t go to covering his broken bones were he to have an accident. I could be wrong, I’m not an actuary, but wouldn’t abortions and birth-control keep medical costs down overall as child birth is extremely expensive?

    Again, thanks Debi.

  4. #4 |  Debi | 

    Thanks, Sinchy! <3 I appreciate the support.
    You might be interested in this. It makes a great argument for covering birth control:

  5. #5 |  Matt | 

    “Seems to me, when you handcuff a person that person is now your responsibility.”

    When you handcuff a person without their consent, that person is your kidnap victim until proven otherwise, despite your stupid costume.

    The “Fat Lazy Cop” deserves to be indentified, prosecuted, vilified and persecuted. The Tampa Bay Times did the right thing by identifying him by name at the same time they identified his victim.

    That fat lazy stupid evil cop is Florida Highway Patrol Trooper Daniel Cole:

  6. #6 |  Shannon's Mouse | 

    Hence, anarchism.

    Exactly! That is where Radley’s argument ends up, if he pursues it consistently. But as far as I can tell, Radly is not an anarchist. So he needs to come up with better arguments.