A Movie I Will See

Thursday, February 16th, 2012

I don’t see how this could miss.

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32 Responses to “A Movie I Will See”

  1. #1 |  Some Pedant | 

    I have no idea what that is supposed to be. But I have every intention of going to the theater to find out.

  2. #2 |  Bob | 

    Oh, HELL YEAH!

    Now we know the secret behind the hat. That’s where he stores all his Vampire killin’ shit.

    And think of the great lines! “I’m motherfucking sick and tired of these motherfucking Vampires in this motherfucking theater!”

    And of course, while killing a Vampire…. “I’m Abraham Lincoln, Bitch!”

    Cult classic all the way.

  3. #3 |  Eric Northman | 

    I’m a vampire.

  4. #4 |  John P. | 

    Evidently Abe Lincoln was a badass…

  5. #5 |  marco73 | 

    I just circled June 22 in my calendar to go see this movie.

  6. #6 |  Tim in Ohio | 

    Oh, I get it now. There were vampires in the Maryland legislature.

  7. #7 |  Brian | 

    The weirdest scene in the trailer (and that’s saying something!) is the totally out-of-place aerial of a modern Washington with completed Washington Monument, Reflecting Pool and even WWII memorial(!) visible at 0:40. It’s so glaringly out of place that even if you didn’t catch all that it just didn’t seem to fit the style or feel of the rest of the trailer.

  8. #8 |  Chris Mallory | 

    We need more movies that glorify mass murdering war criminals. How about “Hitler Meets The My Little Ponies” next?

  9. #9 |  JOR | 

    #8, Hey now, glorifying mass-murdering war criminals is a longstanding human tradition. Look at all the historical heroes, especially the dudes named “the Great”, and count how many of them weren’t just highly effective murderers.

  10. #10 |  Al V | 

    “Hitler Meets The My Little Ponies”

    Yes. This would be entertaining.

    As would the Smurfs meet the guy with the flamethrower.

  11. #11 |  Juice | 

    #7 Brian,

    Beat me to it. Came here to say this. They seemed to take out all the buildings in southwest but then left in the Washington Monument, reflecting pool, and the WWII memorial that wasn’t completed until 2004.

  12. #12 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    Nice thing about the changes that have taken place in film tech and financing is that the future will have more of this and less of Marky Mark crapping on a saltine while waving a flag.

    That’s change we can get excited about.

  13. #13 |  Windypundit | 

    If this movie is a success, maybe we’ll get a live-action version of this as a prequel:


    “killed his sensei in a duel and he never said why”

  14. #14 |  EBL | 

    I posted about this the other day. I have to say I am into checking it out. It has to be better than Twilight!

  15. #15 |  Shel | 

    The shots of DC with modern structures isn’t a mistake – parts of the book take place in modern times.

  16. #16 |  AJP | 

    It is hard to overstate how awesome this movie is going to be.

  17. #17 |  Steve in ATL | 

    This movie will be 100% awesome with the remaining 100% being win.

  18. #18 |  GreginOz | 

    On thread, 2 DVDs I can’t contain myself about! Here in Oz, 7th March, the 1st series of Game Of Thrones (George RR Martin) coming out. I have devoured the books! Next, the John Carter of Mars movie. Boo-Ya!

  19. #19 |  el coronado | 

    Ain’t much of a moviegoer, but I’d pay good money to see ‘The Smurfs vs. Flamethrower Guy’ in 3D. Lincoln, OTOH….was just another crooked Illinois lawyer/politician. A clumsy doofus who made purty speeches containing lovely, hopeful “promises”, which he broke the instant he took office. A railroad lawyer: the 19th century version of a hedge-fund asshole, crapping all over the Constitution. Naturally, the schools today teach the youthful idiots that he was “great”.

    History doesn’t repeat, but it does rhyme.

  20. #20 |  JSL | 

    Eh, if it ends with a vampire Booth shooting him while yelling “Sic Semper Tyrannis”, I’ll go see it.

  21. #21 |  JOR | 

    #13, That’s probably the most awesome video on the internet. If this movie ends up as an over-the-top parody of hero worship like that, I’d pay money to see it. And I never pay money to see movies.

  22. #22 |  marco73 | 

    My teenagers are already on board to go see this with me. It looks so campy it has to be good.
    As a chick flick for my wife, maybe they could make
    “Shakespeare in Love II: Zombie Island”.
    Because you know at the end of the first movie, the female lead does get married and sails to America with her husband. So if they just get shipwrecked on an island full of zombies, you’d have Gwenyth Paltrow’s boobs and sword battles with zombies, all done with those cool British accents. The screemplay almost writes itself.

  23. #23 |  UCrawford | 

    For those wondering about the movie, it’s adapted from the book of the same name by Seth Grahame-Smith, so yes, it’s a real film. The author of that book took the actual writings and events in the real history of Abraham Lincoln and overlaid them on a good vampire hunter story. He also wrote the book “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” which is also worth checking out. :)

  24. #24 |  UCrawford | 

    And the actor who plays Lincoln in the film is also played another president in the stage play “Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson” :)


  25. #25 |  C. S. P. Schofield | 

    May I assume that y’all who are dissing Lincoln are from South of the Mason-Dixon? Or at least have Copperhead blood?

    I do get a little tired of low rent Southern rednecks defending the efforts of the Plantation Faux-Aristicracy to get their poor white ancestors to fight and die to defend the Plantations that kept them poor. No, the War Between The States wasn’t about the evils of Slavery. It was about payback for eight decades of Southern Pseudo-Aristocratic *ssholery. Payback’s a b*tch, ain’t it?

  26. #26 |  Jesse | 

    #12 Boyd:

    Marky Mark crapping on a saltine would be Oscar material compared to this drivel. This is two steps below Transformers.

    And for the record, Marky Mark is actually a pretty damn good filmmaker. Ever see Shooter? Or the Fighter?

  27. #27 |  Dan | 

    Meh. Even more fiction-based glorification of the Great Centralizer. Apparently the Claremont Institute is shifting to movie production, lol. (One needn’t support a ridiculous “moonlight and magnolias” vision of antebellum Dixie to find plenty to dislike about the politics of the real Lincoln, the 600,000+ dead (plenty from the Union as well as the CSA, incidentally) from that unnecessary war, the 250+ Union merchant ships sunk, a southern economy largely ruined for decades, and the political birthing of the love of a “powerful executive” invoked by both major political parties (when respectively holding the White House) ever since.)

  28. #28 |  C. S. P. Schofield | 


    I have run into the “the Civil War wasn’t necessary” argument off and on all my life, and it has never struck me as convincing. Which major branch do you espouse? The “We should have let the Confederacy go their way” argument, which presupposes that a divided union would’t have been picked off by European States? Or the “Slavery was economically unviable, anyway” argument that totally misses that the rat-bastard plantation owners had Aristocratic pretentions and used Slavery, and the advantage that Slavery gave them over the smallholder, to get people to treat them as if they were as important as they thought they were?

  29. #29 |  Bob | 

    Wow. A lot of hate for Lincoln. Chill! Watch the video again and revel in the skill in which he wields that Ax! He’s bad ass to the bone! That’s a whole new Martial Art, right there.

    It’s just a movie! Hell, if a movie had Zombie Hitler fighting the forces of the apocalypse with Swastika-Shuriken and his own armies of undead minions, I’d be all “You go, Zombie Hitler!”

    #26: Jesse.
    No shit. I’m still shocked whenever I see Mark Wahlberg do anything. “That’s Marky Mark from MTV? How did this happen? Where did he get these skills?” But what do you have against Transformers? Not every movie has to be “Gone with the Wind”, you know.

  30. #30 |  JOR | 

    “May I assume that y’all who are dissing Lincoln are from South of the Mason-Dixon? Or at least have Copperhead blood?”

    You can do whatever you want, but some things might make you look really stupid.

  31. #31 |  KBCraig | 

    I would have to root for the vampires.

    One needn’t be a “low rent Southern redneck” to dislike Lincoln. Anyone claiming to support the Constitution should absolutely despise him.

    Kudos to #6, Tim in Ohio. I bet he even recognizes that Puerto Rico could become the 50th state, since there are currently only 49 states according to the U.S. Constitution.

  32. #32 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    And for the record, Marky Mark is actually a pretty damn good filmmaker. Ever see Shooter? Or the Fighter?

    This is insanity. I can stand for a lot, but not this.

    Marky is a punk. Watch Planet of the Apes. Better yet, have lunch with him. Or, ask him how “things would’ve been different had I been on that plane” regarding one of the 9/11 planes. Or his not-so-distant racist past. None of which has to do with his terrible, horrible scenery-chewing or his predictable and formulaic movie making…it just adds to his wretchedness.

    But seriously, the guy is terrible. He makes Nick Cage look like Peter O’Toole. Easy now. I’m talking about “Before Alcoholism” O’Toole.