The Agitator’s Crowdsourced Comic Book: Your Ideas for Page One

Monday, February 13th, 2012

Here’s the background post. It was a close vote, but it looks like you all chose the artist MichaelGrove to do the illustration.

So here’s the first post where you’ll put your ideas for the premise and first page of the comic in the comments. I’ll pick a few finalists, and then you’ll vote on them in a couple days. We’ll then repeat the process until we have a five-page . . . something.

If you already posted your idea in the other thread, it would be good if you could re-post it here so they’re all in one place. Be sure to include dialogue, any narration, and so on. Also, since this will set up the entire premise, be sure to include a title, too.

Also, be sure to check the manuscript guidelines so we can give our artist as much guidance as possible.

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14 Responses to “The Agitator’s Crowdsourced Comic Book: Your Ideas for Page One”

  1. #1 |  (B)oscoH | 

    Municipal Water District SWAT. This interagency team responds to water crises such as slab leaks, excessive toilet flushing, and showers lasting longer than 5 minutes.

    Panel… Woman in shower, neck and face lathered up. SWAT team seen in upper right corner split… “Ma’m, you’ve been in the shower for 5 minutes. Turn the water off and step out with your hands clasped behind your head.”

    Panel… after entering a home and shooting the dogs, the MWD SWAT commander instructs the resident: “You can clean the blood up with 2 cups of bleach. Please don’t waste any water on this.”

    Panel… Calvin and Hobbes reveal why their creator retired and is living in fear of MWD SWAT because they think his name is spelled with one “T”, not two.

    Panel… Team arrives on the scene as firefighters are putting out a car fire. Interagency scuffle ensues.

    In the final panel, the crew is seen washing and scrubbing their LENCO armored vehicle with lots of water flowing.

  2. #2 |  Windypundit | 

    Love the Municipal Water District SWAT! But in the third panel, make it only one dead dog, and split it into two panels so we can see him survive as an ethereal interdimensional essence who will later befriend Radley and become his spirit guide.

  3. #3 |  BamBam | 

    Panel… cops yelling “they’re coming right for us!” and then open fire on object that is not coming for them.

    Panel… cops break in, shoot homeowner “accidentally”. homeowner doesn’t die, most testosteroned cop yells out “FINISH HIM!” and they open fire because he made a furtive move, bladed his body, and had a suspicious bulge (his big porn cock).

  4. #4 |  BamBam | 

    oops bad tags … yells out [a la Mortal Kombat] “FINISH HIM!”

  5. #5 |  Andrew S. | 

    I’m reasonably sure that (B)oscoH already won the suggestion thread.

  6. #6 |  AMW | 

    Yeah. Turns out my Space Nazi idea has been done.

  7. #7 |  GreginOz | 

    Title: Spreading Democracy, like Typhoid Jelly.

    Panel 1) A world floating in space with a benign sun warming it, K’ChortL it is called by it’s dominant species, The Chortlins. Cerulean clouds, verdant continents and sparking cyan seas.

    Panel 2) On the surface of K’ChortL. Bipedal beings, young (small) and older adults (5 foot average), with big, cute racoon eyes and soft, downy fur gambol & play, picking abundant, exotic fruits off fertile flora. Balloon birds float by, waving.

    Panel 3) Aboard a brutalist, threatening space ship, in the control bridge. Several figures leaning over a holo screen. A logo on the wall, “PDPD” (which we later find is the initials of “Peeples Demokrazy Police Department”). THe hulking figures are dressed in black SWAAT (Special War At All Times) rigs, weaponised to the wazoo. Their faces are boar like, tuskers dripping effluvia, bristles & piggy, squinty eyes. The holo screen displays an image of…K’ChortL!!!

    Panel 4) The Captain’s cabin. He is eating a live puppy when a speech bubble appears out of a com unit. “Captain, sir, sir! We have sighted a taxable eminent domain, it appears to be unregulated & (gasp) unpoliced!”

    Panel 5) Soon after, back on Earth at “The White House”, in a conference room, a uniformed, sleek six foot rat, slim and sinister, speaks to fawning minions. Speech bubble. “Assemble a team, I want an auditor, a building inspector, a BigPharma rep, DEA, DepAg, Blackwater, IRS, Immigration…we are gonna spread some democrazy!!!”


  8. #8 |  GreginOz | 

    NOTE: I envisage The Chortlins to be kinda like Free Staters, they mind their own business, believe in property rights and also believe strongly in defence, not offence. The rest of the story would be about their bemusement in encountering the mindset of officials from the USSA and their foiling of attempts to regulate slash civilize them!

  9. #9 |  Me2 | 

    #1 Panel: Prosecutor named Pat ‘The Crusader’ Hader standing at a podium in front of a gaggle of reporters. Well groomed, boring haircut parted on the left, fat chin, and wearing a somber expression. Speech Bubble: “The people of liberty county deserve justice…”
    #2 Panel: Pat, right hand pointing upwards, jaw agape exposing lower row of teeth in a grimaced expression. Speech Bubble: “For too long, the people of this county have been defenseless against the onslaught of ruthless murderers and thugs!”
    #3 Panel: Attractive young reporter interrupts, speaking into her mic, eyes fixed on Pat “We’ve heard there’s a suspect in custody whose been identified by eye-witnesses. Care to comment?”
    #4 Panel: Pat, eye-brows innocently curling upwards, bottom lip pouting. Speech Bubble: I will not comment on an on-going investigation Mrs. Kelly, but we do have a suspect in custody at this time…
    #5 Panel: Looking down from the ceiling of a jail cell. Upper right corner of panel, a skinny dark-skinned man sits on a wall-mounted bench, hands on head, elbows resting on knees, staring between his feet. Speech from Panel#4 continues: “…He’s been identified as an African American male, matching the description of the perpetrator who was apprehended near where Officer Walker was killed…our thoughts and prayers are with Officer Walker’s family.”
    #6 Panel: Pat, bright white teeth showing a smug, winning smile, crows feet at the corner of each eye, big hand waving to the crowd as if palming a basketball as he leaves the podium. Speech Bubble: “That is all at this time. Thankya”
    #7 Panel: Pat, in his office hears a knock at the door. Speech Bubble: “Come in”.
    #8 Panel: Det. Nelson, tall, cheap brown suit, badge hung on belt, a tired looking Trace Adkins look-alike with a beer belly, enters Pat’s office. Speech Bubble#1: “Pat, how are ya?” Bubble#2: “Doin fine Detective Nell. What do we got?”
    #9 Panel: View of Det. Nelson sitting down from just behind Pat leaning back in his desk chair. Speech Bubble#1: “Carl Ward, age 36, divorced, two priors; one for possession as a juvenile, another for domestic assault 4 years ago.” Bubble#2: “Okay, what do we got on tonight?”
    #10 Panel: 6 hours earlier… Patrol car parked in an aging 80’s apartment complex. (Illustrated from the eyewitness POV) “Officer Walker was responding to a suspected burglary in the Heights. Got the call at about 9pm. Arrived in the vicinity and exited his vehicle to investigate. Eyewitness across the street says she saw officer Walker get out of his squad-car and walk towards the residence of the suspected burglary. Officer Walker knocked on the front door but there was no answer. Walked back to his squad-car and radioed dispatch at 9:23pm to report that he was on scene. Afterward he walked around to the backyard of the house. That’s when the eye-witness, Emma Watson, says she heard 3 gunshots. She saw a black male matching the suspect’s description fleeing the backyard.”

    I’m going to bed. The idea is to show the protagonist’s hopeless situation as he chooses between a false confession or the death penalty, eventually caving as he realizes no one really wants him to be innocent. Call it: Justice Irrelevant. (I also have another idea about The Straights, Melvin & Betty Sembler).

  10. #10 |  EBL | 

    I would strongly suggest a defending puppies theme. Not that a officer of the law would ever shoot a defenseless puppy or dog in real life.

  11. #11 |  Jason | 

    Panel… Calvin and Hobbes reveal why their creator retired and is living in fear of MWD SWAT because they think his name is spelled with one “T”, not two.

    Also, he finds a library book that’s a day overdue and runs out of the house to return it, lest the County Library SWAT team come looking for him!

  12. #12 |  Jason | 

    Radley Balko needs a cameo in the comic… maybe he could be a dog-walker being threatened by a police/SWAT officer…

  13. #13 |  H | 

    If you’re serious than you need some kind of table that keeps track of your cast of characters and lists: their personal conflict, setting, special object(s), significant event. As you mix characters and settings the story will become more obvious… and chaotic.

  14. #14 |  James J.B. | 

    1. A Tales from the Crypt type story- A man dreams he is a internet journalist that fights for the rights of those abused by the state. He awakens to find that he is a cop guilty of a no-knock assault /murder of a child and puppy. For a supernatural twist, he is killed by a large Blunt and an undead puppy.
    2. SWAT team goes on routine training in the Tennesee wilds. The story can then progress in a number of ways – a pack of wolves learns that the team does no-knock raids/kills puppies and then seeks vengeance; the wolves (through the use of computer tech all look similar to RB)then seeks vengeance;
    3. Another twist – in a world much like our own – we see people (never their faces) going about their business, one day a home is raided, the loyal family pet is shot, an investigation commences and concludes that all procedures were followed and nothing wrong occurred. The scene then changes to a police station, two “cops” are talking say a terrible that we had to shoot the pet – here’s the twist – the “cops” are Puppies and the pet a swat team member. a series of flashes shows all previous scenes where now you see all of the people are dogs and the pets – people.
    4. In a parallel universe, “Badley Ralko” is a tough on crime, internet journalist that makes regular posts about his heroes, the police and the law breaking “civilians” that get what they deserve. Unfortunately, the populace of that world sees things a bit differently – and the government is sanctioned severely for its abuses of citizen rights. A rift occurs – and Badley switches places with Radley, in our universe, and chaos ensues. Will Radley stay in his new home or will he try to return to stop Badley from destroying our remaining freedoms in our world.