Morning Links

Friday, December 30th, 2011

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39 Responses to “Morning Links”

  1. #1 |  EBL | 

    Great. You show us how to make a Thing In A Jar immediately after Christmas. I could have saved a lot of money. Cow patty gifts through other blog’s Amazon portals is starting to get old.

    Okay, I will save it for next year.

  2. #2 |  EBL | 

    Santorum retweeted that article? Wow.

    And is Santorum rising from a Bloomin Onion? What the heck is that? Is he some sort of cabbage patch person (well from a deep fried onion, not a cabbage).

  3. #3 |  Robert | 

    “Indiana lawmaker wants to hand out fines for poor renditions of the national anthem.”

    OK. Let’s attach that as a rider to my “Fines, tar and feathers for lawmakers who propose ridiculous and unconstitutional laws” bill here…

  4. #4 |  treed | 

    A very interesting 4th Circuit opinion:

  5. #5 |  omar | 

    Four Star General Sheriff Arpaio instructs Maricopa County Daylight Savings Time special forces enforcement agent Steven Stegal on the proper way to conduct a cavity search. Stegal looks on with the anticipation of a little girl.

  6. #6 |  Yizmo Gizmo | 

    How about calling the Seagal show “Above the Law II” in deference
    to his roots in Cinema. Seagal can be the Consigliere for Arpaio
    as he gets indicted in Federal Court for Civil Rights violations and corruption,
    claiming that Sheriff Joe answers to a higher power,
    then double as Rambo as he breaks Sheriff Joe out of prison, guns blazing, and relocates him to the safe haven of Copland, a para-military enclave
    full of fugitive ex-police felons protected by Blackwater goons.

  7. #7 |  Dal | 

    Regarding the speeding cop story…union lawyers said “The penalty is ‘disproportionate to the offenses alleged and/or is excessive so as to be punitive rather than corrective in nature’…..Irony overload…cranium pressure critical…initiating emergency venting…ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!

  8. #8 |  SJE | 

    Cop appealling dismissal for doing 88mph above the limit with BAC 0.089:

    Previously cleared of felony menacing and weapons charges after an employee of a McDonald’s accused him of pulling a gun when he grew impatient waiting for his food.

  9. #9 |  Mattocracy | 

    Leaving drippings of Santorum afterwards.

  10. #10 |  picachu | 

    Somebody at that newspaper has been hoping and praying for an opportunity to use that headline. I bet they even woke up in the middle of the night giggling about the possibility of that.

  11. #11 |  Dal | 

    “..a para-military enclave full of fugitive ex-police felons protected by Blackwater goons..” Ridiculous! There’s no such thing as ‘ex-police felons’…

  12. #12 |  Nando | 

    Re: Speeding Cop,

    I’m normally all for getting rid of the bad apples in any department, but I think the dude has a point here. None of us would be fired from our jobs if we were speeding and drunk. We’d do our jail time, pay our fine, work our community service, and get raped by our insurance agency, but we wouldn’t lose out job over it.

    I know that they put the gun incident in the article to establish a pattern of unwanted behavior, as they should, but if he was off-duty and he paid his debt to society, then I think he shouldn’t have been fired.

    Flame on!

  13. #13 |  (B)oscoH | 

    Ken F’ing White! Check the comment on that article from him:

    I could do without the discussion of my balls, though.

  14. #14 |  Radley Balko | 

    …but if he was off-duty and he paid his debt to society, then I think he shouldn’t have been fired.

    I have no problem with firing cops who egregiously violate the law outside their line of work, but I think you make a fair point.

    I will say, though, that I know quite a few people who were fired after getting a DUI. My high school principal, for one.

  15. #15 |  el coronado | 

    Back in the day when I worked (in mgmt) for a large package delivery service, the rule was “DUI and you’re gone.” So why not for cops?

  16. #16 |  krf | 

    The same Indiana lawmaker has also introduced this bill, which is far worse.

  17. #17 |  HD | 

    Re: Speeding drunk cop

    I guess I should be glad that they at least tested him, and not eight hours later? Professional courtesy and all that.

  18. #18 |  jb | 

    Concerning the cop being fired,
    If your job involves driving, a DUI is a fireable offense. Just like if you’re a CPA, tax fraud is a fireable offense. But not vice versa. In general, any crime relevant to your job duties should be fireable, any any crime irrelevant to same should not be.

  19. #19 |  Aresen | 

    Indiana lawmaker wants to hand out fines for poor renditions of the national anthem.

    Having listened to more than a few out-of-tune, mangled renditions, I can sympathize, but I could only go along with it if some people were just forbidden to sing in public.

  20. #20 |  Drouse | 

    Two words, Rosanne Barr.

  21. #21 |  Xenocles | 


    If you’re a cop, your job is to enforce the laws of your jurisdiction. Therefore, if you violate any of them, you should be professionally sanctioned (by which I mean fired for most offenses).

  22. #22 |  SJE | 

    Speeding cop:
    This wasn’t “speeding” in the normal sense. It was 88 mph ABOVE the speed limit, at night, with a passenger, and over the BAC limit. I know many employers would fire employees under those circumstances.

    Then, this behavior is from someone who is paid to drive and uphold the law, and who is placed in a position of power and responsibility. The speeding and drinking shows a lack of judgement inconsistent with their position. They SHOULD be fired.

  23. #23 |  Ted S. | 

    Regarding the midseason TV shows link, I’m sorry, but I HATE HATE HATE webpage slideshows. I refuse to click through the entire damn thing just to give them increased ad revenue.

    The Huffington Post also seems to be a particularly bad memory hog. It slowed down noticeably loading about element 73/79, and ultimately got up to loading something over 200 elements before I finally stopped loading the page.

  24. #24 |  C. S. P. Schofield | 

    I sympathize with the Indiana lawmaker. I would sympathize rather more if the National Anthem wasn’t a stone bitch to sing. “To Anacreon in Heaven”, which is where the tune comes from, was a drinking song, and at an octave and a half of range I expect it helps to be a little drunk when you try to sing it.

    If such legislation is seriously considered, I hope that it will exempt amateur performances, and target officials who hire “stars” to sing at events without making sure that said “stars” can actually sing the thing.

  25. #25 |  Michael Magnus | 

    re: speeding, gun waving cop.

    No one was raped or killed? Taxpayers didn’t have to shell out millions? Shit, I’ll take a speeding drunk maniac with a happy trigger finger any day!

  26. #26 |  krf | 

    CSP: A “star” such as Roseanne could easily afford the fine. Plus compliance with the law could become such a pain in the ass and subjective that it would be considered best not to sing the national anthem at all.

  27. #27 |  marco73 | 

    re lose your job over a DUI:
    My job doesn’t require any driving, but my employer does expect good judgment. Driving over the BAC limit is maybe a borderline call.

    Driving 143mph while over the BAC limit displays recklessness and stupidity.

    A large part of a cop’s job is being able to testifyi in court.

    And this guy is going to be famous: can you imagine judges having to impose a gag order concerning this cop’s driving record whenever the cop has to testify in court?

    This guy probably couldn’t even stand scrutiny in traffic court. “So tell us Officer Friendly, when you stopped my client for speeding 10 miles over the limit, have you yourself ever been stopped for driving 88 miles over the limit?”

    This guy is totally unemployable as a cop. But he’ll get his job back. Part of Scalia’s new professionalism, don’t you know.

  28. #28 |  derfel cadarn | 

    Poor policeman the big bad doggy gonna bite his wittle ass. If your that afraid you should get another job,pussy assed mofos. As for our DUI hyper speeder if anyone else did this what would the penality be ? In any event involving persons in law enforcement breaking the law the maximum charge should always be imposed. If anyone should understand the law it should be these bozos. Not to hold them responsible is counter to everything it is to be American. Finally who in their right mind would stay in Utah without a Happy Hour. Utah only exists so that folks from New Jersey and Nervada can feel good about themselves.

  29. #29 |  omar | 

    I would sympathize rather more if the National Anthem wasn’t a stone bitch to sing.

    Finally something we can agree on. There’s always common ground to be found.

    IMHO Our national anthem should be America the Beautiful. It’s an easy song about about America and how nice and free and kick-ass it is. The language is accessible and the music is distinctly American.

    Why our national anthem is a weird poem about a particular battle set to a difficult English drinking song…I will spend the rest of my life humming along with my mouth half open pretending to sing.

  30. #30 |  Mattocracy | 

    But it’s harder to play wicked badass Jimmi Hendrix version of “America The Beautiful.”

  31. #31 |  RP | 

    As far as the Dickens Cider thing goes; I’m sure it started as a joke because their website says it started in 2009, but there were bits for it on a morning show that I listened to in Norfolk back in the mid 90’s. I was stationed there from 93 to 98. The show was always funny and I still have a few of their bits as mp3 files.

  32. #32 |  SJE | 

    I don’t agree with what the voters did in Utah, and I don’t agree with the LDS church, but the Mormons have shown that they can excel in so many ways that they have earned my respect. I am open to whatever I might be able to learn from them. They do place a high priority on stable families. When travelling through Utah with small children, recently, I found that most people are very kind and tolerant of those with kids, and it makes life a lot easier for everyone.

  33. #33 |  the innominate one | 

    I posted this previously, but on a day without puppycides being reported, so because there are puppycides today, I’m re-posting this comment:

    In case of puppycide, satirize thusly:

  34. #34 |  Charlie O | 

    If you’re a professional OTR truck driver, getting a DUI in your POV on your off time will most certainly get you fired. Fuck the cop. He deserves jail and firing.

  35. #35 |  Ted S. | 

    Am I the only person here who thinks we should just drop the performance of the national anthem before sporting events?

    In lieu of that, we should do what FIFA does, which is to have pre-recorded instrumental versions to play. If the fans/players want to sing, let them.

  36. #36 |  c andrew | 

    Regarding the apple drink from down under:

    Here’s a promotional spot.

  37. #37 |  tired dog | 

    Re: #8; somewhere the execrable Dan Savage is dancing with uncontrollable glee.

  38. #38 |  Ron | 

    With regard to the bad rendition of our sucky national anthem, how about a law switching the national anthem to something else? “America the Beautiful” perhaps. Anything but the one we have now. It’s pathetic.

    Hell, I’ll bet the North Korean national anthem is better than ours.

  39. #39 |  EBL | 

    Ladies. Moderate alcohol use is a good thing!