Comments on: Panicky News Story of the Day: Smoking Smarties

By: Gullible’s Travels « The Honest Courtesan

Gullible’s Travels « The Honest Courtesan — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 15:53:02 +0000

[...] pedophilia, rainbow parties, rape, “sex addiction”, “sex buyers”, “sexting”, smoking Smarties, strawberry-flavored methamphetamine, violent video games, vodka-soaked tampons or gummy bears, or [...]

By: CK

CK — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 15:40:11 +0000

@Boyd:
The pantless clown is really a TSA agent. You are not allowed to soar above the mundanes without first being groped.

By: Big A

Big A — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 15:33:36 +0000

#14 karl- maybe you’re not as full bore as you think.

By: Boyd Durkin

Boyd Durkin — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 15:16:22 +0000

I’m sitting here, with my face covered in a sugary powder and what looks like red make-up smeared across my underwear, buzzed slightly by the slow realization that I may have a problem. The last thing I remember is getting a “dime bag” ($10) of Smarties at Walgreens and methodically crushing them up and “smoking” them.

The pants-less clown in my kitchen isn’t making me feel any better.

By: Stick

Stick — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 07:20:07 +0000

Has anyone seen the film ‘Idiocracy’ by Mike Judge? I’m beginning to think it wasn’t a comedy, but a prophecy.

By: RoMan

RoMan — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 02:25:55 +0000

None of this would have happened if they hadn’t outlawed candy cigarettes!

By: FloO

FloO — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 01:25:57 +0000

“Due to the potential danger, I have made it clear that posession of Smarties (or similar candy) will result in a class II offense.”

LOL! Notice that just having the wrong kind of candy is the crime, not even the “smoking” of it.

When I started High School, you could cross the street to go to McDonald’s, the “bad” kids were allowed to smoke with a parent’s letter, and nobody died.

By the time I graduated, cops were taking drug dogs up and down the halls, stepping off the property at any time would probably get you arrested, and possessing cigarettes or even aspirin would get you suspended.

This happened in just a few years in the Eighties.

By: brainiac-dumdum

brainiac-dumdum — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 01:09:23 +0000

To be fair, I am a pretty hot smartie.

By: Alan

Alan — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 00:23:50 +0000

#18 My wife just informed me that she has connections to get cany cigarettes. I promised I wouldn’t rat out her source.

By: jorgeborges

jorgeborges — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 23:11:05 +0000

When you smoke your Smarties do you smoke the red ones last?

I also remember crushing candy and snorting it, but it was easier to just use Pixie Stix.

By: Onlooker

Onlooker — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 21:42:06 +0000

And yes, it really could have come from the Onion.

By: Onlooker

Onlooker — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 21:40:52 +0000

Oh my God! Hide the kids! This is an emergency. Must ban those evil Smarties (as one pin head principal apparently has).

Geeezuuus

By: Helmut O' Hooligan

Helmut O' Hooligan — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:56:44 +0000

#10 CyniCAL:

I’ll agree with that. I think it is better for their future health and public safety that they are smoking a relatively benign plant instead of drinking ETOH.

A then there is this gem from the story:
“A Drug Enforcement Administration emergency order banning the sale of five chemicals used in herbal blends to make synthetic marijuana took effect March 1. The synthetics are among the many that would be banned under a bill passed in the U.S. House earlier this month. Many states also have their own laws banning the sale of synthetic marijuana.”

Fuckin’ DEA. Fuckin’ government in general is a one trick pony when it comes to (certain) drugs! Ban, ban, ban. Gee, maybe if real marijuana was legal, people would not constantly be inventing these synthetic substances in their labs. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Believing that bans on drugs will work is like believing that a ban on thunderstorms will work. You are trying to fight against nature.

By: Helmut O' Hooligan

Helmut O' Hooligan — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:48:58 +0000

#2 K: “I like how they just proceed to make another demonstration video”

Exactly. Jesus Christ, if these twits really think this is such a problem, why show the wee ones how to smoke their dreaded smarties.

And pre-smoking behavior! WTF, like pre-crime. Why don’t you just put your kids in a protective bubble already and get it over with.

By: Jerith

Jerith — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:40:11 +0000

#18 – I know what you are talking about. Had Cowboys and other masculine imagery. You could blow into one and it would push the powdered sugar out.

They even had to remove the red end of the Popeye *Candy* sticks. I think you can still find those licorice cigars and pipes.

By: Jman

Jman — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 19:51:17 +0000

Unbelievable! I used to buy candy cigarettes when I was a kid in the 50′s and you could do the same thing. Big f’kin deal!

Man WTF kind of society have we created that the stupid parents go off the deep end over this?

By: Brooks

Brooks — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 19:32:39 +0000

In 5th grade my friends and I chopped up smarties and snorted them like coke. That’s what the War on Drugs taught us. That’s the fastest way to get sugar into your bloodstream.

By: Chicago Sucks

Chicago Sucks — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 19:11:17 +0000

@15

Bah! Freebase? I inject my smarties

By: Bob

Bob — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 19:00:48 +0000

That’s so lightweight.

If you’re not freebasing Smarties and mainlining it directly, you just aren’t getting high.

By: karl

karl — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 18:24:45 +0000

#1′s response was the perfect reaction. I’m a full-bore nanny-stater but this is ridiculous.