- For 75 years, woman plays piano weekly for her church. Credits her longevity to watching her keys and pews
- New Jersey woman steals valuable church crucifix. Police nab her after brief cross examination
- Vehicle crashes into Subway restaurant. Let us take a moment to honor our fallen heroes
- There is a group home for alcoholic hipsters in Brooklyn. At least, there was until everybody heard about it
- Car carrying $1M coin collection rolls over and crashes, dumping entire load across highway — resulting in unexpected lane change
- Ring ring ring goes the trolley. Argh argh argh goes the worker trapped under it
- Nearly 70 dead bats found in Arizona. Isn’t it a little early for spring training news about the Cubs?
- B.C. man hit by stray bullet in Mexico. DAMN YOU, TIME-TRAVELING BULLET
And finally . . .
- Sperm stem cells altered into insulin-producing cells to treat diabetes. Researchers say a cure for diabetes is about to come any moment now