Comments on: Announcing: TheAgitator.com’s Most Hysterical Local News Report Competition

By: Gullible’s Travels « The Honest Courtesan

Gullible’s Travels « The Honest Courtesan — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 01:55:34 +0000

[...] latest lies about domestic violence, Emo, “Grog XD”, “human trafficking”, “iDosing”, “jenkem”, pedophilia, rainbow parties, rape, “sex addiction”, “sex buyers”, “sexting”, [...]

By: markm

markm — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 00:26:28 +0000

Does anyone else remember George Carlin’s bit about a narcotics cop who didn’t know that “shit” was a street name for marijuana? The jenkem hysteria sounds like it comes from someone who never got the joke…

By: Cesar

Cesar — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 19:33:07 +0000

http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/jenkem.asp

By: Dick Clark

Dick Clark — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:18:20 +0000

Is anyone vetting these stories?http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/jenkem.asp

By: Sean L.

Sean L. — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 15:08:34 +0000

Q: Why do they call it ‘butt hash’?

A: Because ‘ass crack’ was already taken.

By: marco73

marco73 — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:17:32 +0000

I ‘ve seen this one occasionally on our local news: Parents allowing teens to have sex at home, so the teens don’t get into “trouble”
Good Morning America even took the bait on this one:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/parents-teens-sex-family-home/story?id=13898548

By: Panicky Local News Stories, Ct’d . . . | The Agitator

Panicky Local News Stories, Ct’d . . . | The Agitator — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 13:10:26 +0000

[...] Prior nominee, description of contest here. [...]

By: markm

markm — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 11:42:17 +0000

I think it’s time to revive the dihydrogen monoxide hysteria. Two starting points:

DHMO has killed more people than cannabis. It is used in the manufacturing of crystal meth.

DHMO is frequently used in porn shoots. Right this minute, somewhere in your own community, a naked child is immersed in liquid DHMO.

By: Flight 714

Flight 714 — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 02:30:05 +0000

@24 Roho

Follow-up news reports will crack the increased sitings of two-headed monkeys and sinister characters who claim to be “selling these fine leather jackets”

By: Erik

Erik — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 23:23:08 +0000

Booze-soaked gummy bears. I don’t know if this will meet the criteria because it seems they actually have an interview of some kid who has apparently engaged in this. What’s so absurd is that the report strongly infers that, if not for the candy, the kids wouldn’t be ingesting the booze they’ve obviously already acquired.

http://www.abc-7.com/story/16091083/2011/11/21/boozy-bears-the-treat-tricking-parents

By: ClubMedSux

ClubMedSux — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 22:52:41 +0000

I would call it the Lovejoy Award, after my favorite fictional queen of hysterics, Helen Lovejoy (“Won’t SOMEBODY think of the children???).

By: Roho

Roho — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 22:00:02 +0000

From Argentina, we have the very worrisome Grog XD:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP5bR1o-elg

Synopsis: The original Secret of Monkey Island game by LucasArts had some pirates drinking Grog. When queried about the recipe, the pirates listed such unsavory components as kerosene, axle grease, and sulphuric acid (which became a plot point later, when you would use the grog to melt a lock). Very tongue-in-cheek, very much in the style of humor of the old LucasArts games. And if anyone’s cross that I spoiled the solution to a puzzle, I think we’re well past the statute of limitations – the game itself is now old enough to legally drink in the US ;)

Fast forward to 2009; some folks are tossing around drink recipes on Facebook, and one posts the recipe for ‘Grog’ from Monkey Island. To indicate that this is a non-serious recipe, they use the XD emoticon to express high levels of amusement. Of course, your average alarmist news team has no idea what a game, Monkey Island, or an emoticon is, beyond something to be terrified of. Thus, they decry the dangers of this dangerous sounding ‘Grog XD’ concoction.

Postscript – In Tales of Monkey Island (came out after the incident), there’s a Grog vending machine that offers Grog XD.

By: FloO

FloO — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 21:48:32 +0000

Jenkem…keep your toilet updated, plumbing in working order, and flush promtply…you know, for the children.

By: Stephen

Stephen — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 21:45:12 +0000

Seems like I remember reading about some kind of mushroom where people would drink the piss of the person who ate the mushroom and get higher than the person who ate the mushrooms.

I think I can pass on that kind of high.

By: MikeZ

MikeZ — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:48:10 +0000

Heh,
I read the text for this post and immediately thought I know the perfect clip I just need to remember the term for the drug made from sewer gas. So without looking at the attached news clip and google sewer gas drug. Which promptly takes me to Jenkem and your clip.

By: chichichichia

chichichichia — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:46:37 +0000

@#14,
A computer science professor has created a great dihydrogen monoxide website that looks a bit like some of the USEPA contaminant pages:

http://www.dhmo.org/

By: Judas Peckerwood

Judas Peckerwood — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:40:19 +0000

The Virtual Butthash Award

By: Dan

Dan — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:21:53 +0000

Well that didn’t take long, just had to open my browser – no video with this article but this certainly qualifies.

New study warning: Violent video games change boys brains

http://mynorthwest.com/?nid=11&sid=588483

By: HV

HV — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 19:44:46 +0000

Man, there doesn’t seem to be any video accompanying this report but this is one of my all-time favorites – http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,269532,00.html

By: Player1

Player1 — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 19:04:24 +0000

naw, butt hash is a dried dingleberry that has been pressed between the cheeks and is then sold to stupid, gullable college students