Walternate Villainously Rubs His Hands Beneath His Chin

Monday, October 31st, 2011

This is cool. But you may want to refrain from paying off your student loans until they’re finished.

Due to follow in the footsteps of the Large Hadron Collider, the latest “big science” experiment being proposed by physicists will see the world’s most powerful laser being constructed.

Capable of producing a beam of light so intense that it would be equivalent to the power received by the Earth from the sun focused onto a speck smaller than a tip of a pin, scientists claim it could allow them boil the very fabric of space – the vacuum.

Contrary to popular belief, a vacuum is not devoid of material but in fact fizzles with tiny mysterious particles that pop in and out of existence, but at speeds so fast that no one has been able to prove they exist.

The Extreme Light Infrastructure Ultra-High Field Facility would produce a laser so intense that scientists say it would allow them to reveal these particles for the first time by pulling this vacuum “fabric” apart.

They also believe it could even allow them to prove whether extra-dimensions exist.

Related: If you aren’t watching Through the Wormhole With Morgan Freeman, you should be.

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21 Responses to “Walternate Villainously Rubs His Hands Beneath His Chin”

  1. #1 |  Kevin | 

    Last time I read up on this, it was so far out of budget and faced such daunting engineering obstacles there was a big question as to whether it would ever get finished. I’ll have to take another look to see if the outlook has improved.

  2. #2 |  John Jenkins | 

    Contrary to popular belief, a vacuum is not devoid of material but in fact fizzles with tiny mysterious particles that pop in and out of existence, but at speeds so fast that no one has been able to prove they exist.

    If a vacuum is filled with tiny particles no one has proved exist yet, one might say that it is…empty, at least until the existence particles is empirically validated.

  3. #3 |  David in Balt | 

    From Wiki:https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Vacuum

    Outer space is an even higher-quality vacuum, with the equivalent of just a few hydrogen atoms per cubic meter on average.[4] However, even if every single atom and particle could be removed from a volume, it would still not be “empty” due to vacuum fluctuations, dark energy, and other phenomena in quantum physics. In modern Particle Physics, the vacuum is considered as the ground state of matter.

    Furthermore, we have observed them at least in part. We can observe the effects of virtual particles and we have even observed Hawkings radiation. Finally, just because something has not been empirically observed is not the equivalent of it not existing. Inferential information, such as mathematics in the related theories, holding up under observations in nearly all parts are strong indicators for the remaining unobserved phenomenon.

  4. #4 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    I take relief in knowing Morgan Freeman doesn’t understand everything he says on that show either.

  5. #5 |  Bob | 

    I will call it… The Alan Parsons Project.

  6. #6 |  DoubleU | 

    pfffffft. I hooked up four shop-vacs in my basement and took down a section of drywall. This is nothing.

  7. #7 |  Sean | 

    “”We are taught to think of the vacuum as empty space, but it seems even a true vacuum is filled with pairs of molecules that come into our universe for an extremely short time.”

    I’m pretty sure the German professor said, or meant, pairs of particles not molecules. Isn’t it the journalist’s job to catch or correct that? How about a brief paragraph describing virtual particles? Fucking dead tree “science” journalists. Things like virtual particles and Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle are way beyond their meager knowledge of the science they make ghastly attempts to report on.

  8. #8 |  Kevin | 

    I think the “journalists” ought to have access to experts who do a little proof-reading before the articles are published.

  9. #9 |  HD | 

    I think the “journalists” ought to have access to experts who do a little proof-reading before the articles are published.

    They do (I’ve offered to review articles for accuracy every time I’ve talked to a journalist), but standard journalistic practice does not permit the subject of an interview to vet the article for accuracy.

    While perhaps understandable when covering politics or crime, this practice doesn’t serve science reporting well.

  10. #10 |  jeff | 

    I’m wondering what happens when we shoot that laser into space and it hits a distant planet that we didn’t even know existed. Will the occupants of that planet think we just attacked them and come to wipe us out?

    Maybe we’ll have to build thousands of these things…just to be safe.

  11. #11 |  Franklin Harris | 

    Through the Wormhole With Morgan Freeman gets a a bit too dualisic and New Agey for my tastes.

  12. #12 |  FloO | 

    “I wonder what will happen if I push this red button.”

  13. #13 |  ALowe | 

    The graphic in the article bears a strong resemblance to the beam from the death star.

  14. #14 |  MPH | 

    “They also believe it could even allow them to prove whether extra-dimensions exist.”

    Yeah, that’s right, let’s just see if we can open the door to Thirdspace; we’re ready for whatever comes through.

  15. #15 |  Elliot | 

    Boyd Dunkin (#4):I take relief in knowing Morgan Freeman doesn’t understand everything he says on that show either.

    He knows more about this science than he does about politics, apparently.

    I love the man’s skills as an actor and narrator.

  16. #16 |  Rojo | 

    Wherein Radley Balko outs himself as a “Fringe” fan.

  17. #17 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    allow them to prove whether extra-dimensions exist.

    Isn’t this where John Smallberries and John Big Booty came from?

    Please tell me people have seen that magnificent movie.

  18. #18 |  Just Plain Brian | 

    Isn’t this where John Smallberries and John Big Booty came from?

    “BIG-BOO-TAY! TAY! TAY!”

  19. #19 |  HD | 

    “Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy.”

  20. #20 |  croaker | 

    “It’s not my god damn planet!”

    Those that can, do.
    Those that can’t, teach.
    Those that can’t teach, administrate.
    Those that can’t administrate, major in journalism.

  21. #21 |  Bob | 

    #17 | Boyd Durkin

    allow them to prove whether extra-dimensions exist.

    Isn’t this where John Smallberries and John Big Booty came from?

    Please tell me people have seen that magnificent movie.

    Oh hell yeah! I even made an all Warlock guild in “World of Warcraft” called “The Hongkong Cavaloors” with only 5 Gnome Warlocks in it named after the members of the band.

    I was trying to multi-box 5 accounts at once in dungeons. That was a lot of fun for a while.

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