TheAgitator.com
Shaq Attacks
Thursday, September 29th, 2011I’ve written a couple times before on the surreal, looming disaster that is Shaquille O’Neal’s secondary career as a police officer.
The Phoenix New Times has now published a long piece about Shaq’s time with the Tempe, Arizona, police department.
And Jesus, is it weird.
I think the funniest part of that article was the description of that trailer that showed kids that they might not know the age of the person on the other side of the internet.
Because while reading Shaq-Fu’s emails to his “fellow officers” I’d guess he was around 13 or so based on the content and grammar.
Lots of creepy stuff in that article, but it’s O’Neal’s obsession with child pornography that really sets off the alarm bells.
Didn’t I read last week that Shaq just graduated from film school? Make up your mind Shaquille. Do you want to be a cop or a director?
Shaq and the cops that allow him to roll with them are complete f-ing idiots. Talk about a lawsuit waiting to happen. Hellooooooo deep pockets!
Because while reading Shaq-Fu’s emails to his “fellow officers” I’d guess he was around 13 or so based on the content and grammar.
He may just be tailoring his message for the audience.
Did the page automatically redirect to “AtHomeFitness.com” after a minute or two for anybody else?
You might have missed this:
http://www.sportsgrid.com/media/shaq-shawn-darling-lawsuit/
That alone is evidence that letting Shaq have any kind of authority is beyond stupid and a betrayal of public trust.
Read the first couple of pages, decided I didn’t care enough to deal with the redirects EH mentioned above. What kind of news site automatically sends you to an advertiser’s site in the middle of reading an article???
I’m not sure it automatically redirects, it may be just that the “athomefitness.com” ad link extends beyond the boundaries of the visual ad, so clicking on the sides of the page brings you there. Annoying.
Stretch is right. I have noscript running so it couldn’t redirect even if it wanted to – anywhere I went I’d have to manually click on myself, and I randomly went to that fitness site thing.
The dude is like the Swiss Army knife of dicks; athlete, rapper, film maker, actor, cop. Essentially the mind and body of a club bouncer with money and free time.
Whenever cops get too close to celebrities, it always ends badly for the cops. Remember the cops who covered up the alledged rape by Pittsburgs beloved Ben Roth-whats-his name? The cops have been fired, suspended, demoted, and generally drummed out of any careers in law enforcement.
Big Ben was suspended 4 regular season games and forfeited the game paychecks. He still went to the super bowl, got married, and continues to be the toast of the town.
Any cop that gets too close to Shaq, or does Shaq any favors, will be bludgeoned mercilessly by police chiefs and prosecutors. I wouldn’t be surprised, after all is said and done, that some cops even do jail time.
But of course Shaq Daddy will find other cops to protect him; Shaq may have to write a couple checks, but he will emerge unscathed.
Honestly, what moron would want to have any dealings with someone who’s idea of handling a problem is trying to set up an innocent person for a lengthy prison sentence for child porn?
“The dude is like the Swiss Army knife of dicks; athlete, rapper, film maker, actor, cop.” This is one of the funniest things I have read today, demize!.
Sweet Jesus on a dinosaur.
One of the main raisons d’être for POST agencies is to screen out people like Shaquille O’Neal. His background is enough of a train wreck to make a background investigator blanch. Combine that with his semiliteracy, history of disrupting police work at other agencies and inability to pass normal test batteries without special accommodations, and AZPOST looks like a joke. Of course, it hasn’t decertified Joe Arpaio, either, so I may be expecting too much.
What mystifies me is that this story has barely made the news. Normally, when a famous athlete is involved in anything a quarter as salacious the media are all over it. Michael Vick and Ben Roethlisberger are pikers compared to Shaq. This is bar none the most salacious, sordid story involving an athlete that I’ve read in years, maybe ever. I don’t think badgelicking can entirely explain the media silence in this case. Badgelicking explains the media’s celebration of a showboating thug like Joe Arpaio as America’s greatest sheriff, but I can’t think of another instance of media silence in the midst of a perfect storm of this sort, and I doubt that they’re beholden enough to keep silent about such a big scoop.
@Radley: What’s the big deal? The only law-enforcement-related misbehavior alleged in this story is receiving secret data about enforcement techniques. Most of it is a rehash of sexual gossip which, even if true, is nobody’s business but Shaq’s and is not fit to print. Shame on the Phoenix New Times.
@EH: I did get redirected, but a closer look shows that I did it myself, by clicking on the right edge of the screen in order to move focus there so I could scroll down. Both the left and right sides of the screen are really links, but it takes a minute or two for the ad images to come up. It’s worse if you use an extension like Firefox’s “RequestPolicy”, which hides the images unless you enable requests to the site where the image is (in this case llnwd.com).
Steven Seagal is a cop or is that deputy. Now Shaq is one. Who’s next?
I’ve had a lot of friends who would’ve been good lawmen but weren’t chosen when they went through the year or year-and-a-half civil service selection process. Must be nice to be a rich celebrity and just walk into this kind of job.
I’m leaving, by the way, when Kim Kardashian gets her badge. Don’t know where I’m going, but I know I’m leaving.