I Get (More) Email

Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

Love the vicious anger in this one.

Fantastical?  That must be something like fantastic, except that it isn’t a word.  Someone needs a dose of reality strong enough to pull them back from the brink of Pulitzer-wannabe ambition to the reality of red-shirt team, sometimes-contributor to Huffpost, the most feeble excuse for journalism on the planet.  Someone with an ancestor under the illusion that taking the “B” off the front of a real name, somehow created another real name.  Aha, our first clue to the origins of fantastical!  I tried this once, in grad school, with the term violencentric – and was rewarded with my only “B”.  Here’s your “B” – to do with as you please – perhaps to restore to its rightful place on the front of your name.  Keep things in perspective.  You’re barely anybody yet.  Avoid trying so hard that you become nobody before you’re somebody.

Who wants to tell him fantastical is actually a word?

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71 Responses to “I Get (More) Email”

  1. #1 |  Aresen | 

    Helmut O’ Hooligan | August 10th, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    I determined that the e-mailer was just a pretentious d-bag who hasn’t adjusted well to life off campus.

    You mean, after completing his PhD in Sociology, he’s now flipping burgers at Mickey Dee’s?

  2. #2 |  George E | 

    The guy complains about Radley dropping a B from the front of his name, but he himself apparently dropped the e trailing the first word in grad school.

  3. #3 |  Big A | 

    In related news, I’ve been reading about a cognitive bias in which incompetent people truly do not understand how dumb they are and cannot be trained.


  4. #4 |  Helmut O' Hooligan | 

    #51 Aresen: “You mean, after completing his PhD in Sociology, he’s now flipping burgers at Mickey Dee’s?”

    Precisely. I once looked at moving to a well known college town and I heard that there were more than a few PhD’s driving cabs around there. It must be hard to spend eight years in a library or glued to your lap top and realize that, outside of academia, your career options are pretty much the same as when you started college.

  5. #5 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    Radley gets all the cool hate mail; most of mine falls into three categories:

    1) Variations on “You’re a whore!”

    I get the same and I don’t even have a job.

  6. #6 |  C. S. P. Schofield | 

    Unlike French, which actually has a panel of cultural elitist twits looking out for it, English pretty much operates on the “If enough people use it, it’s a word” protocol. Therefore I suggest that this twerp be encouraged to move to Paris, where he will become completely irrelevant (as opposed to now, when he is only largely irrelevant). As matters stand it is just remotely possible that somebody will take him seriously. In Paris, everybody from anywhere else in the World will ignore him because he is a Parisian, while the Parisians will ignore him because they only pay attention to themselves anyway.

  7. #7 |  marta | 

    #46 dorothy parker said, famously, writing well is the best revenge. also, it’s probably easier to resist the impulse to respond to idiocy when you can instead just publish it on your blog to a wide and adoring audience who will respond for you!

  8. #8 |  Medicine Man | 

    I’m not clear what has this guy steamed at you.

    And “team red shirt” — I take it this guy has never watched Star Trek then.

  9. #9 |  Fill | 

    How do people manage to figure out email, but not google?


  10. #10 |  Shane | 

    Can I tell him he is an idiot instead?

  11. #11 |  Justthisguy | 

    I coined a word, once. It’s “genucrescent”, from the Latin for “knee” and “grow”.

    E.g. : “Let’s get out of here! It’s entirely too genucrescent in this part of town!”

    Oh, and no picking on the Aspies! Some of us are armed.

  12. #12 |  Justthisguy | 

    Oh, these lines from a Michael Z. Williamson novel seem appropriate:

    “Behind him, White screamed curses and emptied her weapon…. “I want all of you skinny little cocksucking illiterati to DIE!” she shrieked, punctuated by bursts that sounded very controlled.””

  13. #13 |  Daniel | 

    @ #6 Tolly
    I love the idea that spambots are sending Radley insulting emails. It does beg the question “which side of the aisle to the spambots vote on?”.

  14. #14 |  H. Rearden | 

    @23 –

    Cyto I agree.
    A fine example of prose.
    Surely Bill approves.

  15. #15 |  Jim Wetzel | 

    Dear Mr. Balko,

    Be advised that, by taking public note of the more foolish and/or abusive emails that you get, you’re placing temptation in my path. The temptation is to send you ever more over-the-top emails of attack or complaint, simply to see them reproduced in this-here corner of the internet. If you receive something lurid from “Ben Dover,” well … I’m not saying it’s me … and I’m not saying it’s not. “I’m just sayin’,” as the young folks like to say these days.

  16. #16 |  JS | 

    Helmut “After a second look, I determined that the e-mailer was just a pretentious d-bag who hasn’t adjusted well to life off campus.”

    That’s usually my excuse too.

  17. #17 |  Armed and Snarky | 

    Took like 1 second to Bing it. 8)

    fan·tas·tic also fan·tas·ti·cal

    1. Quaint or strange in form, conception, or appearance.
    a. Unrestrainedly fanciful; extravagant: fantastic hopes.
    b. Bizarre, as in form or appearance; strange: fantastic attire; fantastic behavior.
    c. Based on or existing only in fantasy; unreal: fantastic ideas about her own superiority.
    3. Wonderful or superb; remarkable: a fantastic trip to Europe.
    An eccentric person.

  18. #18 |  homeboy | 

    @ #44, Big A

    “I bet Radley would love to get whore-related hate mail.”

    I know I would; I am tired of my incessant whoring going completely unnoticed.

  19. #19 |  Mannie | 

    There’s an old saw about arguing with editorialists:

    Never get into a letter writing contest with someone who buys ink (or in this case, pixels) by the barrel.

    In the case of Fantastical editorialists, even more so. :-)

  20. #20 |  JS | 

    I’m thinking of a new word for that kind of critic-how about assholistically?

  21. #21 |  random_guy | 

    On the subject of language Stephen Fry expounds: