It’s Friday, let’s be immature…

Friday, May 13th, 2011

You’ve got to admit, there’s just something hilarious about an “extensive stash of porn” being found in Bin Laden’s compound.

For some reason it just has me asking so many questions…..

  • Was the porn Osama’s, or did it belong to his 3 wives that were couped up in the compound with him and probably bored as shit?
  • Would it have been way more embarrassing if they had found something more specific to American culture, say a box set of Seinfeld, like Adam Serwer asked earlier today?
  • He had no internet in the compound….so I’m assuming he got the porn through his courier. Does that mean it was old? 80’s softcore? in English? Arabic? Japanese???

Finally, if you feel like giggling at terrorist porn habits with me today….I’d love to hear some of your best titles for what Mr. Al Qaeda may have had in his stash.

“Debbie Does Abbottabad”?

“Taliban Titties”?

“Al Qaeda Your Cave”?

Can’t wait to hear what you come up with! And if you choose to refrain, I completely understand, but it’s been a long week, so don’t judge me.


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69 Responses to “It’s Friday, let’s be immature…”

  1. #1 |  Michael | 

    I’d bet money on gay porn.

  2. #2 |  saboma | 

    The very first words that caused me to get into chitz and gigglez were,
    Osama bin Wankin’ to the tune of “ A froggy went a courtin’ [wikipedia]

    Burl Ives [Youtube]

  3. #3 |  EH | 

    I think it’s funny how uncritically people are taking this porn story, as ripe as it is for parody.

  4. #4 |  Charlemagne | 

    Chuchandra: That should be Lawrence of Alabia.

  5. #5 |  Christopher P. Brown | 

    There’s a lot of Full Ankle shots in that stash.

  6. #6 |  ClubMedSux | 

    EH- Skeptical of the government as I am, I’m not that critical of this particular story because I think that any time you have at least one man AND modern technology in a residence I would be more surprised if you DIDN’T find porn. But on to the matter at hand…

    As a fan of The Big Lebowski, I like to think that somewhere in his stash was a copy of Cavejammin’ (“I’m here to fix deine weapon of mass destruction…”).

  7. #7 |  Helmut O' Hooligan | 

    EH, et al– I don’t find this one that hard to believe either. The more sexually repressed one is in public, the more freaky they get behind closed doors. We have seen this in the U.S. with our own pious fuckers. It’s like squeezing one end of a balloon and watching as the other end gets larger. Even self righteous koran-thumpers (or bible thumpers, etc) need to blow off a little steam, so to speak.

    A bit late to the party, but here are some ideas (hope I’m not plagarizing):

    “Backdoor Mullahs 7”

    “Pee Be Upon You”


    “Do It With The Other Hand, Please”

    “No Pork Allowed”

    “I Want To Fuck You Like An Infidel”

    “Falafel Fantasies 4” (Take that Bill O’ Reily!)

    “Is That An RPG In Your Pants?”

    “The Holely Land”

    Ok, I’m spent. Someone should compile all of these great titles so they can be ranked. There were some classics!

  8. #8 |  Mannie | 

    Goats Gone Wild

  9. #9 |  Joshgeek | 

    Late, but contributin’…

    “Al Salaam Dat Ass”
    “Milf Hunter vol. 37: Mujahadeen Mamas”
    “Taliban Tramp Train”
    “The Bhurka Snatchers”

  10. #10 |  Andrew Roth | 

    Re: #56:

    Speaking of pious fuckers, anyone who can trace teen lesbian porn to Tom Coburn’s computer is a true American patriot. Dude’s projecting, if you ask me.

    I’m guessing that there was some Israeli (or faux Israeli) porn in bin Laden’s stash. That which is alien and hated is often also titillating. Maybe:

    “Girls Gone Wild: Alive and Shakin’ It by the Dead Sea”

    “Mossadomites: Hebrew Ass Killers”

    “Strange Customs: The Gloved Hands of Ben Gurion Airport”

    Some other likely titles from the stash:

    “Pantsuit Orgy: Ladies of Langley”

    “Osama Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (But Never Told the CIA!)”

    “Infidel Hotties: Conversion by the Sword”

    “Voyeur Drone: The Girls (and Boys) Next Door (to the Pakistani Military Academy)”

    “BBWs of the Northwest Frontier: A Fatwa(t)”

  11. #11 |  Andrew Roth | 

    Here’s one that would be even more embarrassing than a Seinfeld box set:

    “A Trip to Old Faithful with Lyndon Johnson: ‘Gentlemen, Can You Beat That?'”

  12. #12 |  newshutz | 

    “Girls gone Abbottabad”
    “The Whole Pack in Stan”
    “Debbie does 1001 Knights”
    “Inside the Green Tent”
    “Hebrew Schoolgirls in Trouble”
    “The Inquisition” from “History of the World Part I”

  13. #13 |  deimos14 | 

    “Weapons of Ass Destruction”

  14. #14 |  daveg | 

    “Karachi Camel Toe”
    ” Lesbos Share Doubledrone”
    “Kashmir Coochie”
    “Loose Change”

  15. #15 |  VikingMoose | 

    I’m still not believing this.

    It’s just too much. Seems too contrived.
    [finishes smearing body with dub-a-dub-chum and dumps in ocean] “What else can we do to prevent him from becoming a martyr?”
    [equally culturally clueless jagbag] “dunno. porn?”

    remember how the right blew a gasket with their 90s idol T Jefferson was revealed not to be as morally pure as they would have?


  16. #16 |  stg | 

    @62 – Actually, I think that might be a real title.

    Also maybe the porn is homemade. He had all that video equipment and yet hadn’t released a propaganda film in a while…

    Othwerwise my money is on Pantsuit Orgy (@59). Sounds like a winner! I do think the alien and hated=titillating supposition will be proven true, whether through Israeli porn or distinctively american porn. Perhaps the simpons porn parody?

    Or maybe: “Ass-HaRammers 4: Blown Away in the USA”

  17. #17 |  c andrew | 

    How about “LezBollah: Return of the PantyWaist”

  18. #18 |  Andrew Roth | 

    “Police Women of Broward County.”

  19. #19 |  Andrew Roth | 

    “General Staff Meeting: All Members Stand at Attention!”

    “Abuttabad: A Dynamic Entry Where the Sun Don’t Shine”

    “Enema Combatants”


    “Pirates of the Gulf of Aden: The al-Shabab Shabang Boat”