It’s Friday, let’s be immature…

Friday, May 13th, 2011

You’ve got to admit, there’s just something hilarious about an “extensive stash of porn” being found in Bin Laden’s compound.

For some reason it just has me asking so many questions…..

  • Was the porn Osama’s, or did it belong to his 3 wives that were couped up in the compound with him and probably bored as shit?
  • Would it have been way more embarrassing if they had found something more specific to American culture, say a box set of Seinfeld, like Adam Serwer asked earlier today?
  • He had no internet in the compound….so I’m assuming he got the porn through his courier. Does that mean it was old? 80′s softcore? in English? Arabic? Japanese???

Finally, if you feel like giggling at terrorist porn habits with me today….I’d love to hear some of your best titles for what Mr. Al Qaeda may have had in his stash.

“Debbie Does Abbottabad”?

“Taliban Titties”?

“Al Qaeda Your Cave”?

Can’t wait to hear what you come up with! And if you choose to refrain, I completely understand, but it’s been a long week, so don’t judge me.

[Alyona]

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69 Responses to “It’s Friday, let’s be immature…”

  1. #1 |  Nate | 

    I’m curious how mainstream/hard-core it is. Is it barely legal amateurs or serious bound & gagged fetish stuff. Less jokingly, there’s a good chance it could be a bunch of one off home videos with some seriously abusive shit that was made specially for them.

  2. #2 |  PeeDub | 

    77 Virgins, One Cup

  3. #3 |  Lint | 

    Burkha Bitches
    Jihad of Jizz

  4. #4 |  Chuchundra | 

    Lawrence of Arabia: An XXX Porn Parody

  5. #5 |  Mike Leatherwood | 

    I love the immature aspect!

    Burka Bangers

    Uncut Qatar Krew

    Suicide Bonkers

    Mountains and Caves of Afghanistan

    Backdoor Sluts 9

  6. #6 |  PeeDub | 

    ^ Let’s hope they maintain the aspect ratio …

  7. #7 |  JS | 

    I kept seeing that story all over the news, no doubt just like the CIA intended and I kept thinking, I wonder what the reporter who wrote or reported this story has on his computer. We are such a bunch of self righteous douchebags.

    But since you asked….I’m thinking Jihad Hoes IV would be popular. I heard it had some first rate acting!

  8. #8 |  Cappy | 

    Burqa Bukkake

  9. #9 |  Meister574 | 

    Burqa Bang, Horny Hezbollah Hussies.

  10. #10 |  Cappy | 

    The Baghdaddy

    Suicide Boobjobs: Bursting at the Seams

  11. #11 |  Jack | 

    Porn in the middle east really isn’t that uncommon. It’s just very taboo. Lots of Hadji shops* have porn if you ask for it. Also every recovered cell phone has porn on it. Half of the time it is of children being raped.

    * I guess I should use a more politically correct word for it but that’s always what they were called. For those that don’t know a Hadji shop are Iraqi own and ran shops where you can buy bootleg movies, smokes, knick knacks etc.

  12. #12 |  arglebargle | 

    I guess my trust in government is lower than most.

    When I read that story, I figured it was bulls**t, a planted story to lessen his stature in the muslim world. It could be true, but thats not my first impression.

  13. #13 |  Ken | 

    Dhimmi Does Dallas

  14. #14 |  Alex | 

    7
    I don’t think you realize what violent radical Taliban-Islam has to say about things like pornography.

  15. #15 |  Highway | 

    Alottabad Abottabad Girls?

  16. #16 |  JBaldwin | 

    Jirka Jirka Jihard.

    Sex in the Satay.

    Mullah Oh-my!

  17. #17 |  Tim Vande | 

    The courier always rings twice.

  18. #18 |  JS | 

    Alex I’m not sure what that would have to do with my post. Did you mean that releasing this information was intened by the US government to make Osama look bad to the taliban?

  19. #19 |  Marty | 

    this looks like a smear job to me, too.

    But… I’m going with ‘Mohammad’s Mustache Riders’.

  20. #20 |  JS | 

    Ali Baba and the 40 Infidel bitches!

  21. #21 |  Tolly | 

    Hijackin’ Hijab Hotties
    Buttman Goes to Baghdad
    Barely Legal 15: The Best of TSA Patdowns
    Cavity Bomberz
    Camels In Heat
    Desert Hotties 2 : Leave the Veil ON

  22. #22 |  Tolly | 

    Also, it begs the point: How do we know this alleged stash was Heterosexual smut? Man, if not release *those* pics and we can really start the reputation smear.

    In that case, it’d probably inspire a bunch of jokes about ‘twin towers’ but man I’m not going near that with a 10-ft pole…
    *rimshot*

  23. #23 |  JS | 

    Tolly “Barely Legal 15: The Best of TSA Patdowns”

    I literally was laughing out loud at that one. This wins the thread imo.

  24. #24 |  Episiarch | 

    Better propaganda would have been to release that it was gay porn, but you can’t expect the morons in the government to think that well.

    “Let’s go watch some gay porn so we can get our hate back.”

  25. #25 |  Just Plain Brian | 

    Charlie Wilson’s Whore
    Jihad As A Rock

  26. #26 |  Dave Krueger | 

    Osama had porn? Did we get that from a credible source or did it come from someone associated with the U.S. government (or, for that matter, any other government on the planet)?

  27. #27 |  Zeke | 

    Sunni Sluts
    Anah get your cum
    Dhakirah Does Kandahar
    Up the Wazoo-istan

  28. #28 |  MassHole | 

    Seal Team Sex – Forced Entry.

  29. #29 |  xysmith | 

    White Chicks, Jihadi Dicks

  30. #30 |  bot | 

    Deep In Fidel’s Talibooty

  31. #31 |  JS | 

    Masshole “Seal Team Sex – Forced Entry.”

    lol and suddenly a new contender arises.

  32. #32 |  Rune | 

    Now that you twist my arm so, Dave, I guess I have to be immature:

    It wasn’t porn, it was heavenly virgin catalogs for teh martyrs

  33. #33 |  Rune | 

    And then I should maybe read the byline. I’ll excuse myself with it being almost 2 am and the only reason I am up is a sick cat keeping me awake

  34. #34 |  JBaldwin | 

    Beach Burka Bunghole

    The Blast and the Furriest

    Double Oh-Sama in: Sandpussy

  35. #35 |  Steve | 

    “Suicide Bums”

    Sorry. It’s all I can think of right now.

  36. #36 |  Bruce | 

    @4: Torrents of a Labia

  37. #37 |  Flight 714 | 

    #5

    Love the South Park reference…..uh…..inserted…..in there.

  38. #38 |  Zeke | 

    From Twitter: “You Jihad me at Halal”

  39. #39 |  JBaldwin | 

    From Twitter:

    Deep Goat

    Also:

    Camelback Mountain: One Hump or Two?

  40. #40 |  Mark S. | 

    Hajib Hookers

    Ankle Gazers 2: Boney and Pasty

    Soddom & Gomorah: A Fairy Tale

    Bombshell Burkka’s

    Stroking Jihadis

  41. #41 |  Rhayader | 

    did it belong to his 3 wives that were couped up in the compound with him and probably bored as shit?

    I dunno, I doubt a woman without a clitoris gets much enjoyment out of porn. Or anything else.

  42. #42 |  Salt | 

    I wonder about the statement of no internet at the ‘compound.’ The Google Earth images showed at least 2 sat. dishes on the roof. Maybe its just television, but we have no way of proving it. There have been allegations of radical Muslim associations with pedophilia and porn prior to this. At this point, I see this as govt. propaganda meant to enhance the yuk factor of OBL. Nothing more. Yawn.

    I always assume the govt. is lying when their lips are moving. Then I deconstruct from there.

  43. #43 |  Bojangles | 

    Pak me Stan
    G-spod
    Saudomy

  44. #44 |  JBaldwin | 

    I would not have guessed this, but I like being immature…

    Midwife at the Oasis

    Hooker Harems of Habib al-Twatti

    Blast and the Furriest II: Sand Drift

  45. #45 |  Topaz | 

    Jizzhad

    Operation: Pakistani Poonjab

    Covered In Shiite

    The Fart Locker

    Sunni Punani

    Two Sunnis, A Shiite, And A Sybian

  46. #46 |  Bob | 

    Taliban film star Mohammed Load starring in:

    Fatwah 5: Under the Burka!

    “What happened to all of these Suicide bombers, they are all dead!”
    “They couldn’t handle the woman known only as Fatwah, they all overcame themselves.”
    “Only one man can do this. Get me Mohammed Load!”

    Blessed be the Load of Mohammed!

  47. #47 |  Slade the Leveller | 

    In the great, and sadly lost, tradition of porn titles playing off of regular movie titles I give you these:

    Jizzhead
    The Thief of Bangdad
    The Cunt Locker
    Three Kinks
    Banging Jessica Lynch
    Redickted
    The Men Who Do More Than Stare at Goats

  48. #48 |  Jess | 

    Nine 1/2 Years
    Goatback Mountin’
    Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break in Tora Bora
    MILF of All Battles
    Mohamed and Mohamed and Mohamed and Farook: Brothers in Arms
    Pakistani Grannies

  49. #49 |  ThinkAnarchy | 

    Dialysis Orgy 3.

    Three’s Not Enough Company XXX

    Catch Me Fucking If You Can.

    That’s all I have right now, but if you need, I will happily do more thorough research.

  50. #50 |  Jess | 

    …and how could I forget:

    Seal Ream 6

  51. #51 |  Michael | 

    I’d bet money on gay porn.

  52. #52 |  saboma | 

    The very first words that caused me to get into chitz and gigglez were,
    Osama bin Wankin’ to the tune of “ A froggy went a courtin’ [wikipedia]

    Burl Ives [Youtube]

  53. #53 |  EH | 

    I think it’s funny how uncritically people are taking this porn story, as ripe as it is for parody.

  54. #54 |  Charlemagne | 

    Chuchandra: That should be Lawrence of Alabia.

  55. #55 |  Christopher P. Brown | 

    There’s a lot of Full Ankle shots in that stash.

  56. #56 |  ClubMedSux | 

    EH- Skeptical of the government as I am, I’m not that critical of this particular story because I think that any time you have at least one man AND modern technology in a residence I would be more surprised if you DIDN’T find porn. But on to the matter at hand…

    As a fan of The Big Lebowski, I like to think that somewhere in his stash was a copy of Cavejammin’ (“I’m here to fix deine weapon of mass destruction…”).

  57. #57 |  Helmut O' Hooligan | 

    EH, et al– I don’t find this one that hard to believe either. The more sexually repressed one is in public, the more freaky they get behind closed doors. We have seen this in the U.S. with our own pious fuckers. It’s like squeezing one end of a balloon and watching as the other end gets larger. Even self righteous koran-thumpers (or bible thumpers, etc) need to blow off a little steam, so to speak.

    A bit late to the party, but here are some ideas (hope I’m not plagarizing):

    “Backdoor Mullahs 7″

    “Pee Be Upon You”

    “Sex-o-Potamia”

    “Do It With The Other Hand, Please”

    “No Pork Allowed”

    “I Want To Fuck You Like An Infidel”

    “Falafel Fantasies 4″ (Take that Bill O’ Reily!)

    “Is That An RPG In Your Pants?”

    “The Holely Land”

    Ok, I’m spent. Someone should compile all of these great titles so they can be ranked. There were some classics!

  58. #58 |  Mannie | 

    Goats Gone Wild

  59. #59 |  Joshgeek | 

    Late, but contributin’…

    “Al Salaam Dat Ass”
    “Milf Hunter vol. 37: Mujahadeen Mamas”
    “Taliban Tramp Train”
    “The Bhurka Snatchers”

  60. #60 |  Andrew Roth | 

    Re: #56:

    Speaking of pious fuckers, anyone who can trace teen lesbian porn to Tom Coburn’s computer is a true American patriot. Dude’s projecting, if you ask me.

    I’m guessing that there was some Israeli (or faux Israeli) porn in bin Laden’s stash. That which is alien and hated is often also titillating. Maybe:

    “Girls Gone Wild: Alive and Shakin’ It by the Dead Sea”

    “Mossadomites: Hebrew Ass Killers”

    “Strange Customs: The Gloved Hands of Ben Gurion Airport”

    Some other likely titles from the stash:

    “Pantsuit Orgy: Ladies of Langley”

    “Osama Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (But Never Told the CIA!)”

    “Infidel Hotties: Conversion by the Sword”

    “Voyeur Drone: The Girls (and Boys) Next Door (to the Pakistani Military Academy)”

    “BBWs of the Northwest Frontier: A Fatwa(t)”

  61. #61 |  Andrew Roth | 

    Here’s one that would be even more embarrassing than a Seinfeld box set:

    “A Trip to Old Faithful with Lyndon Johnson: ‘Gentlemen, Can You Beat That?’”

  62. #62 |  newshutz | 

    “Girls gone Abbottabad”
    “The Whole Pack in Stan”
    “Debbie does 1001 Knights”
    “Inside the Green Tent”
    “Hebrew Schoolgirls in Trouble”
    “The Inquisition” from “History of the World Part I”
    “Yentl”

  63. #63 |  deimos14 | 

    “Weapons of Ass Destruction”

  64. #64 |  daveg | 

    “Karachi Camel Toe”
    ” Lesbos Share Doubledrone”
    “Kashmir Coochie”
    “Mujahidick”
    “Loose Change”

  65. #65 |  VikingMoose | 

    I’m still not believing this.

    It’s just too much. Seems too contrived.
    [finishes smearing body with dub-a-dub-chum and dumps in ocean] “What else can we do to prevent him from becoming a martyr?”
    [equally culturally clueless jagbag] “dunno. porn?”

    remember how the right blew a gasket with their 90s idol T Jefferson was revealed not to be as morally pure as they would have?

    right.

  66. #66 |  stg | 

    @62 – Actually, I think that might be a real title.

    Also maybe the porn is homemade. He had all that video equipment and yet hadn’t released a propaganda film in a while…

    Othwerwise my money is on Pantsuit Orgy (@59). Sounds like a winner! I do think the alien and hated=titillating supposition will be proven true, whether through Israeli porn or distinctively american porn. Perhaps the simpons porn parody?

    Or maybe: “Ass-HaRammers 4: Blown Away in the USA”

  67. #67 |  c andrew | 

    How about “LezBollah: Return of the PantyWaist”

  68. #68 |  Andrew Roth | 

    “Police Women of Broward County.”

  69. #69 |  Andrew Roth | 

    “General Staff Meeting: All Members Stand at Attention!”

    “Abuttabad: A Dynamic Entry Where the Sun Don’t Shine”

    “Enema Combatants”

    “Kandahardon”

    “Pirates of the Gulf of Aden: The al-Shabab Shabang Boat”

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