Steven Seagal: Lawless Lawman

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Earlier this afternoon I blogged about Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio and bloated action hero Steven Seagal raiding a suspected cockfighter (cockfighting manager? cock manager? cocker?) with a tank and a SWAT team. If the story wasn’t already outlandish enough for you, you’re in luck.

Seems that Segal told local media taht he was piloting tanks and smashing doors with Arpaio’s crew while “on loan” from his deputy position with the Jefferson Parish, Louisiana, Sheriff’s Department.

Not quite.

According to beefy action film star Steven Seagal’s former “boss,” Jefferson Parish Sheriff Newell Normand, Seagal is not “on loan” from Jefferson Parish, as Seagal asserted recently after a massive MCSO raid on a home in Laveen, where one — count him, one — suspect was nabbed for his alleged involvement in raising roosters for the purposes of cockfighting.

Indeed, according to Sheriff Normand, who once played host to Seagal’s A&E reality series Steven Seagal: Lawman, the tough-guy Akido master resigned rather than face an internal affairs investigation by the JPSO into allegations of sex trafficking and sexual assault raised in a 2010 lawsuit by an ex-employee…

In her lawsuit, ex-swimsuit model Kayden Nguyen accused Seagal of sex trafficking and creating a hostile work environment by groping her and making unwanted sexual advances toward her.

The complaint, which has since been dropped, stated that she was hired through a Craigslist ad to be Seagal’s executive assistant as Seagal filmed his reality show in Jefferson Parish, just outside of New Orleans.

But Nguyen alleged that, “what the production company really wanted was an `Attendant’ to provide sex on demand to Mr. Seagal…”

Supposedly, she was to take the place of one of two female Russian masseuses, as one of them had recently left Seagal’s employ.

The lawsuit is bursting with salacious details, all of which Seagal’s lawyer has denied to the press, claiming that Nguyen had been fired from her position for illicit drug use. (No criminal charges were ever filed in the Seagal-Nguyen case.)

More at the Phoenix New Times. Seagal appears to be attempting to embody every bad cop cliche all by himself.

(Thanks to Kelly James for the tip.)

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29 Responses to “Steven Seagal: Lawless Lawman”

  1. #1 |  Brandon | 

    And his bosses are only too happy to go along with them.

  2. #2 |  johnl | 

    Thank you the story is just exactly goofy enough now. Also please
    > sed “s:media taht:media that:”

  3. #3 |  DPirate | 

    Seagal appears to be attempting to embody every bad cop cliche all by himself.

    He’s done that already in his movies.

  4. #4 |  Marty | 

    the films I saw with Seagal had him playing the cop with unbreakable integrity… Kinda increases the irony a little.

  5. #5 |  Psion | 

    It’s a shame … one of my favorite action films used to be “Under Siege”. Not any more, Steven, you self-absorbed, quasi-rapist loser! You and Sheriff Joe deserve each other, and hopefully you’ll both be sharing a tent and wearing pink undies soon.

  6. #6 |  zendingo | 

    WOW!

  7. #7 |  Steve Verdon | 

    ….Steven Seagal: Lawman, the tough-guy Akido[sic] master resigned rather than face an internal affairs investigation by the JPSO into allegations of sex trafficking and sexual assault raised in a 2010 lawsuit by an ex-employee…

    As a practitioner or aikido I find this portion of the story horrifying. The only slight blessing is the misspelling of aikido so hopefully people will think it is something else.

  8. #8 |  Steve Verdon | 

    mr. seagal became sexually aroused and had a unique physological reaction to sexual arousal

    From the Nguyen complaint against Seagal….what the heck?!?! I’m hoping it is uncontrollable flatulence.

  9. #9 |  Helmut O' Hooligan | 

    The reason for the raid was ridiculous of course. I wonder if it was influenced just a little bit by the suspect’s Spanish surname. And Sheriff Joe, ever the publicity whore, even brought Seagal along. Nice. Things just keep getting better in Maricopa County.

  10. #10 |  Mattocracy | 

    Who would of thought that Seagal would represent law enforcement more accurately in real life than in film.

  11. #11 |  Eric J Schlegel | 

    The only thing I have against Steve is “Against The Darkness”. He should be made to serve time for that movie.

  12. #12 |  roy | 

    Cocksmith.

  13. #13 |  OBTC | 

    Actually I can’t believe that Arpaio and Segal didn’t get into their own little cockfight – after all, which of the two is truly the bigger dick?!

    P.S. Sorry, I know this is foul but I really couldn’t help myself!

  14. #14 |  BoogaFrito | 

    Don’t you mean fowl?

  15. #15 |  The Ginchiest Snork Ever! | 

    I can justify Segal wanting the tank. Who knows? Maybe ‘Judo’ Gene Lebell was hiding out in that house.

  16. #16 |  Dave Krueger | 

    I think Seagal liked his fictional movie roles so much that he eventually just adopted them as his own reality.

  17. #17 |  Seagal update. « Whipped Cream Difficulties | 

    […] way of Balko, we learn of another explanation: Seagal isn’t with JPSO any longer. Indeed, according to […]

  18. #18 |  SayUncle » More Seagal | 

    […] not driving tanks to arrest a single man suspected of having cockfighting chickens, he’s busy resigning his job so he doesn’t have to face investigation for sexual assault of one of his em…. But America’s toughest sheriff thinks it’s ok for this guy to ride along in a tank and […]

  19. #19 |  ParatrooperJJ | 

    Nothing new, it’s pretty well known that he beat up several of his exwives.

  20. #20 |  Marty | 

    #10 WINNER.

  21. #21 |  Joe | 

    I knew a guy who trained with Seagal in the same Akido dojo in Japan. He confirmed the obvious: In real life Seagal is a poeser and a complete jerkoff.

  22. #22 |  André | 

    http://www.salon.com/news/opinion/glenn_greenwald/story/index.html?story=/opinion/greenwald/2011/03/24/miranda

    Well, I wasn’t really using my Miranda rights anyway.

  23. #23 |  David | 

    Hey! Those roosters are trained killers! We can’t have out thin blue line risking life & limb by going in under-prepared.

  24. #24 |  Jesse | 

    Cocksman.

  25. #25 |  Anton Sherwood | 

    H.S.M.Coxeter, geometer and vegetarian, did not love his surname: a cock-setter was a manager of cockfights.

    (according to Siobhan Roberts’s rather dull biography, King of Infinite Space: Donald Coxeter, the Man Who Saved Geometry)

  26. #26 |  nemo | 

    Tanks? Well, if you give unstable, superannuated little boys some very dangerous toys, why should anyone be surprised when they get used?

    This is what happens when you allow your cops to think they’re military; this is ‘Full Spectrum Dominance’ taken to the most absurd level possible.

  27. #27 |  kc | 

    The militarization of our police forces increased dramatically with the DHS grants starting in around 2003 to police agencies. Those grants could be used to buy just about anything the departments wanted. Apparently many opted to buy armored vehicles, huge SUV’s, more automatic weapons, etc. They could have sensibly used most of it to improve their emergency operation centers or communication equipment. Seems like when the Sheriff Joe’s of the world get stuff like that, they abuse the s**t out of it. Well thought out observations of the militarization of our police forces.

  28. #28 |  mike | 

    Steven Seagal is a Dush Bag who should be ashamed of himself.

  29. #29 |  Starling Smith | 

    Why didn’t Seagal knock on the guy’s door? I’ll tell you why – publicity. It didn’t matter that a house was ruined or animals killed – including a puppy. Seagal gets more disgusting each time I read about his antics. He claims he was in the CIA, claims to be a dog trainer, claims to be a trained police officer – how ridiculous. Trained officers don’t crash through a guy’s house with a tank and shoot a puppy. Enough is enough. He should be charged with animal cruelty, forced to pay damages and FIRED! The one and only reason Sheriff Joe and Seagal hooked up was because Sheriff Joe loves publicity and Seagal has nothing else to do. Since TV is involved nothing will come of this. The whole concept of Seagal lawman is so silly it’s disgusting. I hope the public sees him for what he is – a jerk!

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