Morning Links: Droll Edition

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

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34 Responses to “Morning Links: Droll Edition”

  1. #1 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    Best response to “Fair Enough” link was “Nice try Richard Gere.”

  2. #2 |  Bob | 

    Richard Gere was one of the Banana Splits? Who knew?

  3. #3 |  B | 

    A pair of geeky-stylish glasses can make the bald look less serial killer-y.

    Or, you could find a really smart hat. It could become your “thing” when your on TV, like Gillespie’s jacket.

  4. #4 |  Mattocracy | 

    You mean it isn’t because they refer to women as chicks?

  5. #5 |  B | 

    …when *you’re* on TV…sigh…

  6. #6 |  Dave Krueger | 

    In which Jack Shafer makes me consider getting a toupee.

    I admit to doing an image search to find a picture of you smiling and then sent it side by side with that mug shot in an email to my son (another agitator reader). The temptation was just too irresistible for someone with my perverse sense of humor. Of course, he knew it was meant to be funny.

  7. #7 |  Chris in AL | 

    While I find that Canada song banning story is both stupid and incredibly late (30 year old song? Really?) there has been a radio version of that song all along that has the offensive words ‘silenced’ out. While I have heard the unedited version on the radio, usually I heard the softened version.

    Which leads me to ask…doesn’t Canada have radio cuts of songs? It seems like requiring the edited version would be better than a ban.

  8. #8 |  RomanCandle | 

    As a fellow bald dude, take it from me to stick with the shaved head. Sure, you look like a dangerous psychopath and talking to black people can be awkward because they will sometimes assume you are a racist skinhead. Very unfortunate.

    But if you get a toupee, you don’t look like a guy with hair. You look like a douchebag in a toupee.

    Would you rather look like a douchebag or a badass?

  9. #9 |  Marty | 

    ‘Last week, Canadian cops mistook a skunk smell for a marijuana grow. This week? It’s British cops vs. Guinea pigs.’

    this helps confirm my suspicions that police departments are an attempt to mainstream a segment of the mentally handicapped and that the attempt isn’t really working…

  10. #10 |  CyniCAl | 

    The only thing worse than reading a typo is reading the apology for a typo.

    •Canada Huck Finns Dire Straits.

    It seems they want to ban the song outright, not replace the offensive word with a less offensive one as with the recent Huck Finn “controversy.” But I guess it’s official now — any noun can be used as a verb.

    •Fair enough.

    Damning Richard Gere with faint praise.

  11. #11 |  Marty | 

    Jared Loughner’s middle name is ‘Lee’- that’s almost as bad as ‘Wayne’.

  12. #12 |  CyniCAl | 

    •Better indicator that the end of America is nigh: Forever Lazy or Pajama Jeans?

    The end of America has been nigh since 1973:

    Po-jama People by Frank Zappa

    Some people’s hot
    Some people’s cold
    Some people’s not very
    Swift to behold
    Some people do it
    Some see right through it
    Some wear pyjamas
    If only they knew it

    The pyjama people are boring me to pieces
    Feel like I am wasting my time
    They all got flannel up ‘n down ’em
    A little trap-door back aroun’ ’em
    An’ some cozy little footies on their mind

    Po-jama people!
    Po-jama people, people!
    They sure do make you sleepy
    With the things they might say
    Po-jama people!
    Po-jama people, people!
    Mother Mary ‘n Jozuf, I wish they’d all go away!

    Po-jama people!
    It’s a po-jama people special . . .
    Take one home with you, save a dollar today
    Po-jama people!
    Po-jama people, people!
    Wrap ’em up
    Roll ’em out
    Get ’em out of my way

  13. #13 |  Maria | 

    Ha. We had skunks living under our house one winter. Thanks, I’ll be sending that skunk article to every friend who lovingly called me a paranoid loon while I voiced my concerns that the cops could surely mistake us for a grow up. Sweet vindication. And at least they didn’t shoot the skunk, or the pigs.

    …. And I’ll precipitate the decline and fall of the American empire for a pair of sweet sweet pajama jeans.

  14. #14 |  Eric Hanneken | 

    British police thought they’d hit the jackpot when their chopper’s infrared-camera located a cannabis grow-house . . . .

    I know Britain doesn’t have a Fourth Amendment, but holy cow.

  15. #15 |  Matt | 

    Cops vs. guinea pigs? Don’t mess with the G-FORCE.

  16. #16 |  CyniCAl | 

    Read the comments too Eric, The United State doesn’t have a 4th Amendment neither.

  17. #17 |  IrishMike | 

    Don’t tell Canada about Elvis Costello’s “Olivers Army.”

  18. #18 |  PogueMahone | 

    So the article doesn’t say if the guinea pigs were shot to death.

    Oh, wait. This is England. I’m sure they’re fine.

  19. #19 |  Steamed McQueen | 

    I seem to recall that in some recordings Dire Straits substituted the word ‘queenie’ for ‘faggot’. Not sure why they did it.

    Music history is loaded with stuff like this at least as far back as Ed Sullivan requesting the Rolling Stones change the words to ‘Let’s share some time together’.

    And yeah, it was Boy George he was talking about, not Mick Jagger.

  20. #20 |  Stephen | 

    Forever lazy heralds the coming of our teletubby overlords.

  21. #21 |  sux2bme | 

    People who are scared of words scare me.

  22. #22 |  Dave Krueger | 

    Canada Huck Finns Dire Straits.

    Being offended: A way of claiming victim status in order to impose your will on someone else without needing to show that you were, in fact, injured in any way. It’s a con.

    The claim of being offended is scam dressed up to look like righteousness. It’s about as moral as braking into someone’s house and stealing everything they own. It permits the weak to control the strong and it’s nothing short of an open admission that one is such a fucking pussy that they need to be protected from the ordinary interactions of ordinary people who have learned that being among other humans demands a degree of fortitude and tolerance that offended people will never have. It’s like reshaping all of humanity to make the world acceptable to the lowest common denominator.

    Nothing pisses me off more than the claim of being offended because it insults me by assuming I’m so fucking stupid that I will fall for it.

  23. #23 |  kant | 

    Correct me if i’m wrong but I seem to remember another incident like a year or so back about the British mistaking the heat from a kiln as a huge cannabis grow.

  24. #24 |  Gordon | 

    Wow, that Jack Shafer piece is 100% pure wank.

    @Dave (#22): Yeah, that “I’m offended” passive-aggressive ploy really gets my goat as well. It’s an insult to all listeners.

    Very classy that Barbour is going to salve his conscience and purchase redemption (he hopes) with taxpayer dollars. Very magnanimous. Plus it was another wanky Slate article; nice gratuitous (and false) dig at Palin.

  25. #25 |  MacK | 

    Doesn’t Jared Loughner have an “Alien Nation, Tenctonese” look to him.

  26. #26 |  Cyto | 

    Combining the bald guy who looks like Balko and the irrational politically motivated responses he elicited into a fine editorial cartoon.

  27. #27 |  Cyto | 

    BTW, the link in 26 is to a Slate list of editorial cartoons about the shooting. In this one Danziger doubles-down on the stupid.

  28. #28 |  Cyto | 

    Ok, last post about the 56 cartoons on the Slate list, almost all of which are mind-numbingly, infuriatingly ignorant. This one pretty much captures the initial reaction though, although the Michael Ramirez take is the best.

  29. #29 |  Justin | 

    Contemplating shaving one’s head in response to thinning hair is much like contemplating Dr. assisted suicide in that both are attempts to respond to impending doom on one’s own terms(with dignity). At least that’s how this 25 year old with a rapidly receeding hairline feels. K thanks

  30. #30 |  Fat Crack Ho | 

    I have to think that anyone resourceful enough to find a pink beagle costume could’ve made that little extra effort to find a gerbil costume.

  31. #31 |  JOR | 

    For practical, rather than rhetorical, purposes, someone who successfully uses claims of offense as part of a strategy to get someone’s stuff or force their will on them is, in sociobiological terms, “stronger” than whoever they just got the better of; whining about their “weakness” is kind of like whining about how much of a pussy a grizzly bear is because it has to use its massive muscles and claws and teeth to take you apart instead of beating you in a sewing contest or internet debate or something else humans are better at than grizzly bears. As the gamer kids say these days, “QQ moar”.

    The urge to always find some way to blame the “weak” or to explain away one’s opponent’s reasons or actions as a symptom of essential weakness or frailty, and to ennoble the “strong” and boohoo about how unfair life is to them when all the weak stupid people gang up on them, is probably the single biggest enabler of statism and authoritarianism in human cultures. See, for instance, how often this rhetorical device is relied upon by badgelickers, rape apologists, the party hacks associated with whatever political party is running the government at any particular time, etc. Libertoids often adopt this attitude as a supposed kind of essential “rugged” individualism, but it’s not; in fact it’s the opposite – it’s a rationalization for petty tribalism and collectivizing people you don’t like.

  32. #32 |  KristenS | 

    Can I just indulge in a little non sequitur here? I know a very liberal woman (Canadian – big shocker) who is one of those that always spouts off about the evils of capitalism, yadda yadda (you know the old bromides). Then today she makes a post on a discussion board about how much she loves the barter system, the free exchange of goods and services between individuals.

    Is it just me, or isn’t that the very definition of capitalism? Am I completely freaking nuts to think she’s a complete idiot?

  33. #33 |  ClassAction | 


    You aren’t (necessarily) nuts and she isn’t (necessarily) a complete idiot. It’s wrong to think that “capitalism” necessarily means, or has historically meant, or even means now to most people, a “free market.” Capitalism has historically been used to mean lots of different things – control of the means of production by someone other than the workers, “boss-directed labor,” corporatism, etc. and so on. Capitalism as the “free market” is a relatively new use of the term, and one which lacks any particularly strong claim to being uniquely correct. A barter system in which small, owner-operated manufacturers and service providers could theoretically be “free market socialism” (the free exchange of goods and services between individuals who own and operate their own means of production), or something else entirely.

  34. #34 |  pam | 

    Dig the hole deeper Haley Barbour wants to spend 50 million on a museum while folks are still living in FEMA trailers. That should fix it.