Zombie Cash

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

Minneapolis settles a lawsuit from alleged WMD-toting zombies:

Seven zombies accused of carrying weapons of mass destruction will be staggering to the bank shortly with a bundle of cash, courtesy of a legal settlement with the City of Minneapolis.

The seven were arrested in 2006 during Aquatennial while dressed for a “Night of the Living Dead.” They were stiff-legging it down Nicollet Mall to protest mindless consumerism when some unhappy soul called 911.

The cops busted the seven for disorderly conduct and said the zombies’ homemade public address rig looked like a weapon of mass destruction. The zombies spent some brief, scary time in jail, where the cops confiscated one protester’s very real prosthetic leg.

They’ve settled for $165,000.

Digg it |  reddit |  del.icio.us |  Fark

33 Responses to “Zombie Cash”

  1. #1 |  Len | 

    Surely they were arrested for being a weapon of mass distraction.

  2. #2 |  Clark | 

    Seriously, what kind of asshat has to call 911 when they see a group of people in costumes? Wtf is wrong with people?

  3. #3 |  Zombie Zealots | 

    You mindless consumers of fiatcracy. Why would you use the unconstitutional government 911 at all? What about a subscriber service that calls someone useful in a potential emergency instead of the local baby’s daddy removal team?

  4. #4 |  Mike Leatherwood | 

    First it was Mooninites, now zombies. Soon Speed Racer will be detained and beaten at the border because Spritle & Chim-Chim were hiding in the trunk of the Mach V.

  5. #5 |  Aresen | 

    While the cops were out of line, it still seems strange to me that a group aiming “to protest mindless consumerism” would want a $165,000 cash settlement.

    Not saying they shouldn’t have been compensated, it just seems like a bit of a disconnect.

  6. #6 |  qwints | 

    There are a lot of uses for money besides mindless consumerism.

  7. #7 |  BSK | 

    Off-topic, but I just saw in a documentary that the government shut down the lottery the day after the landing of flight 1549 in the Hudson River because too many people played 1549 and the government feared losing millions. Interesting to see just how much of a racket government-run gambling is and just why they are so intent on eliminating competition.

  8. #8 |  JS | 

    Mike Leatherwood “First it was Mooninites, now zombies.”

    I love the Mooninites!

  9. #9 |  andyinsdca | 

    It’s too bad that the individual cops aren’t responsible for the payoff of the lawsuit instead of the city government and their insurance company.

  10. #10 |  Marty | 

    I imagine a prosthetic leg really adds to the realism of a zombie costume… if only the cops had interpreters capable of speaking zombonics, this misunderstanding could’ve been avoided. their budget is just too small to deal with crisis’ like this.

  11. #11 |  SJE | 

    With zombies, “mindless consumerism” means “eat your brain….”

  12. #12 |  Bob | 

    “Seriously, what kind of asshat has to call 911 when they see a group of people in costumes? Wtf is wrong with people?”

    They could have been Christians who thought they were actual zombies.

  13. #13 |  Rhayader | 

    I got a great big pointy fang
    Which is my Zomby Toof
    My right foot’s bigger than my other one is
    Like a regular Zomby Hoof
    If I raid your dormatorium
    Don’t try to remain aloof
    I might snatch you up screamin’ through the window all naked
    And do it to you up on the roof!
    Don’t mess with the Zomby Woof

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCQdplsl99E

    (Weird vid)

  14. #14 |  tim | 

    What’s incredibly silly about all this is that we’ve had zombie crawls for years with no issues. And yet this time the cops magically have a problem with it.

  15. #15 |  Joe | 

    Crime [Not] pays.

  16. #16 |  rjbrash | 

    Minneapolis has a long history of paying out to people because of police misconduct. For a while, the joke was “Need a quick $300,000? Go downtown and spit on a cop”.

  17. #17 |  qwints | 

    I would love individual liability for law enforcement officers who violated civil rights. A government is like a corporation, you can’t really effectively tax or penalize it – only those who participate in it (stockholders and customers or citizens.) Ideally, we’d be criminally punishing those cops who commit perjury, assault people and pets and violate civil rights. Instead, we’re stuck with a system that puts the incentives two to three steps removed from those actually responsible for the problem. We can hope the shit runs downhill, but we know that police unions often have more power over city councils than the other way around.

  18. #18 |  PogueMahone | 

    As a young man, I was once arrested for being a zombie – though I wasn’t harming anyone or putting anyone in danger.
    But of course, then, they called it “Under the influence of a controlled substance.”
    Wankers.

    Cheers.

  19. #19 |  Frank | 

    @8 I would prefer investing those cops with the tunica molesta, personally.

    @14 Cops commit crimes, taxpayers pay.

    @16 I would as well, but the police unions will never allow it. And then the cops wonder why there is an increasing number of honest citizens who crack a beer when they hear of a member of the Blue Street Gang has been capped.

  20. #20 |  joev | 

    Yeah, it’s all fun and protesting mindless consumerism until the real zombie apocalypse finally dawns and someone loses their brains.

  21. #21 |  MacGregory | 

    The real crime here was their costumes. The charge should have been “impersonating a Zombie impersonator.”

  22. #22 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    Zombies are the symbolic of all monsters. Well played, zombies, well played.

    No doubt the zombies were guilty of “doing something the cops didn’t like”, so the cops arrested them.

    One more thing I wish I could do at my job.

  23. #23 |  delta | 

    “We can hope the shit runs downhill, but we know that police unions often have more power over city councils than the other way around.”

    I really don’t see how this is a union issue. Military units do the same kind of misbehavior and cover-ups and they’re not unionized. The prosecutors and judges who shield cops aren’t in the union.

    My experience and the research I see says stronger unions increase accountability, and unions are more willing to boot transgressors than ivory-tower administrators. Disclosure: I am a unionized college teacher.

  24. #24 |  oscar | 

    [quote]I got a great big pointy fang
    Which is my Zomby Toof
    My right foot’s bigger than my other one is
    Like a regular Zomby Hoof
    If I raid your dormatorium
    Don’t try to remain aloof
    I might snatch you up screamin’ through the window all naked
    And do it to you up on the roof!
    Don’t mess with the Zomby Woof

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCQdplsl99E

    (Weird vid)
    [/quote]

    Too funny that I had this song in my head while reading the story and comments. Well done.

  25. #25 |  qwints | 

    delta, I wasn’t speaking about unions in general. I was specifically addressing the power police unions have on city elections. I would also wager that you’ll have a very tough time convincing people that police unions have increased accountability.

  26. #26 |  Peter Ramins | 

    I have read many accounts of police unions maneuvering to DECREASE accountability (opposing civilian review boards, opposing allowing citizens to video tape cops, all sorts of similar situations) but I have *never* seen one single instance involving a police union saying ANYTHING like “this guy is a douchebag and shouldn’t be a cop.”

    Their image is pure black filth-carbon, it’s so untarnishable.

  27. #27 |  Nathan A | 

    Usual outrage aside at random civilian and police asshattery, that is a damn cool image you put up along with this article, Radley.

  28. #28 |  Joe | 

    Hey wait a second! The cop looks like the good guy in this zombie show!

    This is what you call a conflict of interest for Agitator readers.

  29. #29 |  BoogaFrito | 

    My experience and the research I see says stronger unions increase accountability, and unions are more willing to boot transgressors than ivory-tower administrators.

    Is that why so many incompetent teachers are getting fired these days, and not, say, shuffled around, placed in comfy administrative positions, or sent to spend their workdays surfing the internet in “rubber rooms”?

  30. #30 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    #28 Regarding Walking Dead…
    The conflict of interest arises when the cop in the movie confronts his union rep who is now a zombie. Tough one for him to figure out as the union was defending zombie cop attrocities for years with “all procedures were followed correctly” while planting evidence of “brain-eating cats”.

    Any movie with a cop as the hero gets thumbs down from me.

  31. #31 |  A little bit of this and a little bit of that | Travels with Shiloh | 

    […] of Balko, more homeland security nonsense.  Seven people dressed up as zombies and decided to go to the […]

  32. #32 |  GreginOz | 

    Guess why the cop wasn’t afraid of da Zombies? Es obvio! Zombies ask first “Are you brains?”. Ain’t many pigs can answer that one…

  33. #33 |  Duncan20903 | 

    Did $165,000 actually cover their legal fees?

Leave a Reply