Morning Links

Monday, August 9th, 2010
  • Lawsuit: Student tells teacher she was raped. Principal uses alleging victim as bait in a moronic “sting” operation to catch the accused rapist. Sting goes awry, and student gets raped again.
  • At this year’s Indiana State Fair: “Fried butter.”
  • David Boies vs. Tony Perkins on the California gay marriage ruling.
  • Time-lapse video of a cross-country drive.
  • Man dies in finals of the “World Sauna Championships”.
  • Awesome Reddit anti-joke thread. My favorite: A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey, why the long face?” Horse says, “Because I’m an alcoholic and it’s destroying my family.”
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46 Responses to “Morning Links”

  1. #1 |  paranoiastrksdp | 

    Heh. School authorities think they’re cops. Cops think they’re soldiers. Where does it end?

  2. #2 |  Bob | 

    “Finnish police and organizers are investigating the incident, Arvela said. But he said first aid personnel had been in place and all competitors taking part in the contest had provided doctor’s certificates. “All the rules were followed,” he said.”

    All but the “Don’t put people in a sauna and crank up the heat until they die.” rule.

    Ooo! Gotta run! The World Russian Roulette Championships are about to start on Pay per View!

    It’s a single elimination tournament, winner takes all!

  3. #3 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    Anti-jokes rock.

    Did you hear about the World Sauna Championships? An old man died of heat-related complications.

  4. #4 |  Matt I. | 

    I hate to tell you this, but you are behind the curve, meme-wise.

  5. #5 |  Chris Berez | 

    Lawsuit: Student tells teacher she was raped. Principal uses alleging victim as bait in a moronic “sting” operation to catch the accused rapist. Sting goes awry, and student gets raped again.

    What the fuck?!

    The school should be sued into oblivion and that principle should be thrown in jail to experience what he feels it’s OK to subject little girls to.

  6. #6 |  asg | 

    I agree — that first link was the biggest WTF moment I’ve had in a long time, even by the standards of this blog. It does a great job of depicting the specific varieties of incompetence one can find in the edu-ocracy..

  7. #7 |  Pablo | 

    Sorry for the thread jack but I thought this is pretty major. Social Security collapse begins:

    http://www.ajc.com/news/nation-world/forced-to-retire-some-587596.html

    Talk about middle class entitlement. The last sentence says it all. Why work when you don’t have to?

  8. #8 |  bobzbob | 

    Sorry Pablo, but your story is all about people who want to work but can’t find jobs. What would you rather, that 63 year-olds starve to death on the streets?

  9. #9 |  Professor Coldheart | 

    When I clicked the first link, my first thought was, “This isn’t the same school that spied on students through the cameras in school-issued laptops, is it?” But I was mistaken – that school was in Philadelphia.

    Moral of the story: what the hell, Pennsylvania?

  10. #10 |  Al V | 

    Admittedly, in the school issue, we are reading one side of a lawsuit.

    But as a WTF moment, it is pretty astonishing that a school administrator would take a risk like that with a student.

    There must be more to the story. If there isn’t, the school is in deep.

  11. #11 |  hamburglar007 | 

    My favorite anti-joke so far:

    Another Hellen Keller joke:
    (to the tune of Yankee Doodle)
    Hellen Keller went to town,
    a-ridin’ on a pony
    Stuck a feather in her hat
    And called it mmuhhhh

  12. #12 |  billy-jay | 

    So, you didn’t read it, bobzbob? That last part was about a couple that started taking SS because it enabled them to stop working.

    Get off Pablo’s nuts.

  13. #13 |  CC | 

    The white stuff on sauna guy’s face is really gross.

    That’s all I have to say.

  14. #14 |  Mattocracy | 

    A horse walks into a bar. Bar tender say, “why the long face?” Horse says, “Fuck you, I’m Sarah Jessica Parker.”

  15. #15 |  Mike Healy | 

    Why am I laughing so hard at anti-jokes?

  16. #16 |  billy-jay | 

    Mike,

    Because they’re funny.

  17. #17 |  Mike Healy | 

    Ah. That would explain it, then. Thank you.

  18. #18 |  Joe | 

    Damn you Radley, I have work to do and that damn anti joke thread has me hooked! Now I am emailing it to people.

  19. #19 |  Joe | 

    A school principal uses a minor rape victim in a sting operation.

    And she gets raped again.

    Man, these anti jokes are a riot.

  20. #20 |  EH | 

    The post-gazette.com site is dead in the water. It’s been Agitator-dotted!

  21. #21 |  EH | 

    Alternate link:
    http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/pittsburgh/s_692637.html

    I love how the district is fighting this one, I’m sure this won’t result in the decimation of the district’s administration.

  22. #22 |  Meister574 | 

    The Orange County fair has this too, along with chocolate covered bacon.

    http://www.orangecounty.com/articles/butter-6641-peterson-fair.html

  23. #23 |  David | 

    Bob: single elimination? Pansies.

  24. #24 |  ZappaCrappa | 

    And these are the folks we are supposed to unquestioningly put the future of our children in their hands. Boy…sometimes home schooling just doesn’t sound so crazy does it?

  25. #25 |  Mannie | 

    Those school admins should be hanged.

    When you put out bait, you watch your line!

  26. #26 |  davidstvz | 

    2007 ESPN article about Sauna Championships. This is incredible really.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=5198604

  27. #27 |  flukebucket | 

    Boies really did seriously kick ass there. It was a joy to watch.

  28. #28 |  Psion | 

    Paranoiastrksdp,

    “Heh. School authorities think they’re cops. Cops think they’re soldiers. Where does it end?”

    It ends when enough citizens start thinking of themselves as revolutionaries.

  29. #29 |  Philly Girl | 

    Professor Coldheart

    “When I clicked the first link, my first thought was, “This isn’t the same school that spied on students through the cameras in school-issued laptops, is it?” But I was mistaken – that school was in Philadelphia.”

    The school that spied on the kids was not in Philadelphia. Philadelphia schools don’t even have enough textbooks…forget laptops!

  30. #30 |  Big_Texan | 

    @#28
    I bet they think it’s Donovan Mcnabb’s fault

  31. #31 |  Michael Chaney | 

    Boies is great at what he does, which is essentially intellectual prostitution. Had Perkins written him a slightly larger check, he would have argued that side just as well and with as much spirit. I lost all respect for him when he took on the SCO vs. IBM case.

    Note that I’m not saying he did a bad job here – obviously he did quite well – but the point is that it’s easy to make the mistake of believing that he’s more than a shill.

  32. #32 |  mark r | 

    I started avidly reading reddit recently and now know radley’s goto source for interesting weird news.

    Kinda takes the fun out of my morning link fix.

  33. #33 |  Aresen | 

    Bob | August 9th, 2010 at 9:26 am
    The World Russian Roulette Championships are about to start on Pay per View!

    David | August 9th, 2010 at 12:59 pm
    Bob: single elimination? Pansies.

    David, the double-elimination tournaments are for SWAT team sharpshooters.

  34. #34 |  xenia onatopp | 

    What makes the whole rape story even worse is the fact that the principal was going all rogue cop like that in order to catch students having consensual sex. I mean what the fucking fuck?

    It’s just hard to work out that thought process: “Um, I was just attacked and raped, can you please help me out?” “So I guess that makes you available to help me stop teenagers from fucking.”

  35. #35 |  Mike Leatherwood | 

    Helpful hint #1 to our educators:

    If a student comes to you saying that they were raped, CALL THE FUCKING POLICE. Provide comfort, BUT CALL THE POLICE. Ensure their immediate safety, BUT CALL THE POLICE.

    If the story is true, even partially, every adult that was involved is responsible. The teacher shouldn’t have gone to the administrators, you go to the police. GO TO THE POLICE.

    Jeebuz fucking criminy!

  36. #36 |  Aresen | 

    The Orange County fair has this too, along with chocolate covered bacon.

    Is that chocolate covered bacon with sprinkles and maple syrup?

  37. #37 |  Dave Krueger | 

    The problem with the gay marriage issue (along with many others) is that its portrayed as if there are only two sides. One side promotes the idea that marriage is traditionally defined as heterosexual and plays a special role in the survival of the species. The other side believes that gay couples deserve the same recognition and benefits that heterosexual couples get. Both positions are narrow-minded and self serving.

    In a civilization that values freedom, there is no role for government in mandating the terms of voluntary associations. The third side of this issue is that government should get the fuck out of the marriage business completely.

    Gays claim that they simply want equal rights, but they really aren’t promoting equal rights at all. What they really want is the right to join an exclusive club so they can reap the special privileges that they aren’t entitled to as non-members. If they really advocated equal rights, they would be denouncing the special privileges granted to one class of people (married) and denied to another (single).

    The bottom line is that homosexual and heterosexual individuals should both enjoy the same rights whether they are married or not.

  38. #38 |  Helmut O' Hooligan | 

    #37 Dave Krueger: “The third side of this issue is that government should get the fuck out of the marriage business completely.”

    Exactly! +1 for you, Dave. My wife and I wholeheartedly agree and discussed this very thing before we got married in the spring. Marriage could be, essentially, a contract between two people. If trouble arises, those two people could go to civil court, just like other people that have a dispute over a contract. There is no reason citizens should have to get a “blessing” from a government OR a church in order to be be a married couple. And there is absolutely no reason for the government to decide whether two adult human beings can get married or not.

  39. #39 |  Marty | 

    #24 | ZappaCrappa |
    ‘And these are the folks we are supposed to unquestioningly put the future of our children in their hands. Boy…sometimes home schooling just doesn’t sound so crazy does it?’

    we just started homeschooling. it doesn’t sound crazy at all, anymore- it sounds like the best response free people have.

  40. #40 |  GregS | 

    There’s a blond joke in which a blond gets pulled over for speeding, the cop figures out she’s a ditz, and he smiles and begins to unzip his pants. The punchline to the REAL joke is, the blond says, “Oh, no, not another breathalyzer!”

    But a girl I knew was telling the joke and kept screwing up the punchline. Hers was much better. She kept saying, “Oh, no, not another blowjob!” She did this several times, each time a new person joined our group. It was hilarious. From then on, the punchline to every joke was, “Oh, no, not another blowjob!”

    Try it with a few of the classics. “A horse walks into the bar, and the bartender says ‘Oh, no, not another blowjob!’” It’s my favorite anti-joke.

  41. #41 |  GregS | 

    “…and the bartender says, ‘Why did you hesitate so long between ordering the beer and the peanuts?’”

  42. #42 |  Marty | 

    #35 | Mike Leatherwood

    ‘CALL THE POLICE’

    I always tell people 911 is like a sledgehammer- when you need a sledgehammer, it’s perfect. When you need a tack hammer and call, you end up with a lot of destruction for no reason. They definitely needed sledgehammers this time. Jeez.

  43. #43 |  Zeb | 

    I enjoy a good hot sauna, but 180 F is plenty hot for me. Above the boiling point (when using steam) seems like a bad idea. If the sauna is kept perfectly dry, you can safely go quite a bit higher, but the steam is half the fun.

  44. #44 |  Cynical in CA | 

    #38 | Helmut O’ Hooligan

    C’mon Helmut, what’s stopping you from taking the rest of the plunge?

  45. #45 |  Mannie | 

    It’s too late for the government to get out of the marriage business. They’ve been neck deep since the time of Hammurabi.

    By invoking one word, “Marriage” you define a special kind of relationship where pepole become next of kin, can make life-or-death decisions for each other, are jointly and severally liable for their debts, and a boatload of other details. There is a lot of precedent in the way these contracts are administered and dissolved.

    If you magically invalidated all civil marriages, the lawyers would thank you for the work for a thousand years!

  46. #46 |  Marty | 

    ‘If you magically invalidated all civil marriages, the lawyers would thank you for the work for a thousand years!’

    is that why we can’t repeal drug prohibition? roll back the IRS? open borders? restrict swat teams?

    bad precedence isn’t a good reason to maintain the status quo.

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