…and this is your brain on local news.

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

Someone needs to tell News 9 and the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics that as far as facepalm-stupid attempts to scare the crap out of parents with hysterical “next new drug” stories go, the “digital drugs” thing is so 2008.

(Thanks to Michael Chaney for the link.)

 

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58 Responses to “…and this is your brain on local news.”

  1. #1 |  BSK | 

    If this shit is even real, wouldn’t you rather your kids do I-drugs than real drugs? A lot of the anti-drug movement is about “protecting” folks, because drugs are bad (most drugs do have undesirable side effects). But even if there was a side-effect free drug that gave people a euphoric feeling with no consequences, people would still want it restricted. It’s clear that the anti-drug movement has nothing to do with protecting people and everything to do with controlling them.

    For more evidence, see the way sugar is increasingly being treated like a drug, all in the name of “protecting” us.

  2. #2 |  EH | 

    BSK: if there was a side-effect free drug that gave people a euphoric feeling, people might start wanting the better world they imagine while under the influence more than they want the shitty world they’re being provided. In that way it’s a disruptive state of mind, and therefore needs to be regulated. It’s no coincidence that the only legal highs are depressants.

  3. #3 |  hamburglar007 | 

    Didn’t they say the same shit about jazz, rock n’ roll, and rap?

  4. #4 |  Rhayader | 

    Pssst…I got the money….you got the .wav?

  5. #5 |  Waste93 | 

    “For more evidence, see the way sugar is increasingly being treated like a drug, all in the name of “protecting” us.”

    You forgot salt, caffeine, nicotine, transfats, etc.

  6. #6 |  Bill | 

    God I hate these people. I use sound files to meditate and to help with hypnosis. They aren’t “drugs”. One company used that name and it stuck. Idiots. Fucking idiots.

  7. #7 |  Marty | 

    PT Barnum is so proud right now.

  8. #8 |  Michael Chaney | 

    If this shit is even real, wouldn’t you rather your kids do I-drugs than real drugs?

    Drug has really nasty side-effects: it must be banned to protect you

    Drug has few nasty side-effects: it must be banned because it’s a gateway drug to harder drugs

    You cannot win that argument.

  9. #9 |  MassHole | 

    God people are stupid.

  10. #10 |  Jason Kuznicki | 

    Local news isn’t the only one. NPR did a story about this just yesterday.

    But, in the spirit of Scary Movie, they played part of a supposedly mind-altering track on the radio. I nearly crashed my car… from laughing.

  11. #11 |  JThompson | 

    Of course they’ll be pushing a ban on this shortly. And they’ll need access to everyone’s computers and files. After all, we must think of the children! Unless the children believe in the 4th amendment. Then they’ve got something to hide and they’re going down!

    We should all start fake drug myths just to see how many the media buys into. After they fall for enough of them they may learn to stop sucking at their jobs. “Kids are smashing themselves over the head to create the euphoric state of a concussion!!!1111 Are your kids HEADBANGING?!”

  12. #12 |  Dave Krueger | 

    #9 MassHole

    God people are stupid.

    Precisely why I refuse to believe in Him. I just can’t worship someone whose crowning achievement is supposed to be the creation of all the idiots I see on the news everyday. I mean, what kind of superbeing would even admit to such a thing?

  13. #13 |  anarch the theist | 

    Damn code.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_humour#Chelm

  14. #14 |  BSK | 

    These newcasts also assume kids don’t watch the news. Which may be true in general, but isn’t true in absolute. I remember when I was in middle school, there was a “NEW DRUG FEAR!!!!!” segment about some random wild weed that was growing in a certain area that somehow mutated or something and kids were smoking it and getting high. Now, I wasn’t ever really into drugs, just personally, but even I thought, “I should probably check the back yard…”

    How many kids saw that and instantly starting googling this stuff? If the goal really was to restrict use, why would you give it such great advertising?

    “Hey kids! There is something new to get you high and it’s not yet illegal. And the adults hate it so much they’re going on the news with it!”

  15. #15 |  LLEE | 

    This is not news. This is simply stupid as hell.

  16. #16 |  Judas Peckerwood | 

    I just want some of whatever drugs those news stooges are on.

  17. #17 |  Gary | 

    So if I understand this correctly…

    We basically should just never have fun. If we start having fun doing one thing, we’re going to be like “Oh shit, that was enjoyable, I wonder what other fun things there are,” and then we’ll start searching for fun things. If we search long enough and try enough fun things, we might try one that’s harmful. So we should never have fun.

    Is that about right?

  18. #18 |  BSK | 

    No, no, Gary. WAY OFF!

    Fun, itself, is harmful.

  19. #19 |  Maria | 

    My brain literally hurts from that…

    Wait… so, it had a negative side effect on my brain?
    I’ve been emotionally affected by the news so IT MUST BE A DRUG!
    Ban the news I say. Ban it good.
    The news is a gateway drug to stupidity.

  20. #20 |  The freakin’ FCC: obscenely indecent | 

    […] may not be obscene to you, or, more likely, what you find obscene will not be obscene to me. Take this, for instance. It’s both obscene and indecent. Yet there are no […]

  21. #21 |  TDR | 

    Being familiar with Oklahoma, I can say that for them to be only a couple years behind is pretty good by their standards (as for this being “so 2008″).

  22. #22 |  JS | 

    I was just watching local news the other night with my mom and we talked about how many of the stories are not news at all but moralizing. This just in-study finds to much fat is not good for you! Stuff like that. This is just another manifestation of a local news culture that tries hard not to say anything that could remotely be controversial or make people think.

  23. #23 |  Noel St. John | 

    Dammit to hell! I downloaded some killer stuff, and after only one listen, I got totally like you know whacked outta my skull! Now I’m totally addicted. Thanks, Radley. In all honesty, I’m a lifelong addict. Since my cool uncle gave me a copy of Pink Floyd’s Meddle when I was about 5 years old, I’ve known music can alter ones consciousness.

  24. #24 |  Noel St. John | 

    Addendum: I don’t know if this directly attributable to The Agitator, but according to Google, “Idosing” is the 39th most popular search term in the past hour.

  25. #25 |  Dave Krueger | 

    #23 Noel St. John

    Addendum: I don’t know if this directly attributable to The Agitator, but according to Google, “Idosing” is the 39th most popular search term in the past hour.

    Wow! Maybe it’s even booted “Chatroulette” out of the top spot on the social paranoia hit parade.

  26. #26 |  BSK | 

    Now the question remains… will it be illegal to DWR…

    That is, Drive While Rockin’?

  27. #27 |  Frank Hummel | 

    I tried some samples that were available but it didn’t have any effect on me. True, my ears are kinda shot but here’s a few things i don’t understand.

    Wikipedia is talking about certain frequency ranges and differences between them. Aren’t these gonna be affected by the type of headset i am using, a noise cancelling Bose vs a $10 computer headset? How about the audio settings on my box or the MP3 player i am using? I guess using an equalizer might filter out exactly the frequencies needed. Anyone knowledgeable have some input on this?

  28. #28 |  Gary | 

    “Since my cool uncle gave me a copy of Pink Floyd’s Meddle when I was about 5 years old, I’ve known music can alter ones consciousness.”

    Ain’t that the truth. You’re gonna make me go watch Live at Pompeii now…

  29. #29 |  Nick | 

    Skip to 2:09 in the video and look at the time on the phone. Is that a coincidence?

  30. #30 |  Highway | 

    Frank, just about any headphones are going to reliably reproduce tones between 50 and 12,000 Hz. Lower quality ones will have a big rolloff outside that range. But unless your headphones are really bad, or extremely poorly designed, they’re not going to move frequencies around, so if a signal comes to them at 300 Hz, the headphones are gonna play 300 Hz. The main difference from expensive to cheap headphones and speakers is how much other stuff is introduced by the speaker, and how ‘flat’ the response is, that is if a certain frequency range is louder or softer because of the physical properties of the speaker.

    Equalization could boost or even reduce a range, but it’s unlikely you’d pull it totally out of the mix.

  31. #31 |  Reggie Hubbard | 

    So I’m pretty happy throwing the fear-mongering card around and this is definitely a good time for it but some of the songs I’ve found (thanks to media coverage of this) are pretty trippy once I’m already baked.

  32. #32 |  MacGregory | 

    This is what we have to deal with? Really? God Damn, ATTENTION all you libertarian stoners, we get this shit for free now! No fear of legalization-taxation, just log on…..

  33. #33 |  highnumber | 

    They said it uses binaural sound. Binaural. That’s some heavy duty shit. Binaural. Lock up the kids, man.

  34. #34 |  winston smith | 

    i can’t wait for Sean Hannity’s take on this “It’s a 100 percent certainty. I-dosing addicts will kill to get more tunes.”

  35. #35 |  Dave Krueger | 

    Has this been linked to al qaeda yet? Is Homeland Security going to charge YouTube with providing material support to terrorism? Is it finally time to repeal the First Amendment before it completely destroys our country? As Bush said, “They hate us for our freedom” (just before he set the country on a course to fix that problem).

  36. #36 |  Craig | 

    Even this clip seems to have subliminal messages. At time 2:06 they show a shot of a cell phone. The time– 420.

  37. #37 |  Yizmo Gizmo | 

    Physiological effects? Weird sounds?
    Sounds serious.
    But did you notice…the sound and video are offset in this
    news video. The mouth moves, then a lag, then sound.. I feel dizzy…
    euphoric…otherwordly. Help!!! I can’t stop watching. Parents beware!!!

  38. #38 |  Bob | 

    There’s a new drug!!! Young people are trying it all over without being aware of the horrible possible side effects.

    This drug can actually cause the formation of a parasitic mass in the body, that if left untreated, will detach itself and grow to become a separate person that the drug user is fully responsible for taking care of!

    This drug is Holding Hands. It produces a euphoric effect that makes the user want to hold hands even more, and acts as a gateway drug for kissing and worse!

    If you see kids holding hands, DO NOT APPROACH THEM! They could be ‘high’ and react irrationally. Instead, CALL THE POLICE. The Police are trained to handle these highly volatile situations and have 5, sometimes 10 minutes of firearm and violence de-escalation training.

  39. #39 |  Trish | 

    Are merry-go-rounds illegal yet? Spinning on those things til we couldn’t walk was our drug of choice in elementary school. What about helicopter rides from Dad? Or roller coasters. Dear god! Something think of the amusement parks!!!

  40. #40 |  Rich | 

    You know what comes next don’t you?

    Two girls, one iPod…

  41. #41 |  Kerade | 

    @Nick #28 – awesome! great catch!

  42. #42 |  MacGregory | 

    …and to think, way before the internet, the MSM was spoon-feeding us this shit and we ate it like baby food.

  43. #43 |  MacGregory | 

    Watching this made me higher than any joint I ever smoked.

  44. #44 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    It might just be my 32 ounce purple drank talking, but digital drugs aren’t for the real playa.

  45. #45 |  André | 

    I’ve got my Jenkem, and that’s not illegal. Yet.

  46. #46 |  Boyd Durkin | 

    How many politicians (local and federal) are literally creaming their jeans right now over playing to this hysteria?

    Besides, show me a teenager who doesn’t act like he’s on drugs.

  47. #47 |  matt | 

    Cute spaz about something that was discovered 170 years ago and which also commonly occurs in stereo music…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binaural_beats

  48. #48 |  nathan | 

    Wow. I use binaurals on and off. I have doe so for years; my wife does even more. Even halfway decent ones can help you relax, or get keyed up, concentrate, and all sorts of nifty things. But get high? Really?

    Seriously, there are a dozen iPhone apps that generate these. They work by tricking your ears into hearing certain frequencies that over time will bring your brain’s beta waves into sync with those frequencies. There’s a whole lot of new-agey excrement on a lot of the sites about this, but there is also some great science under it all. It’s not going to bring you to a higher plane, or get you high, unless you are looking for that experience. However, it will, if you give it the 30-90 minutes it really takes, bring your general mental state toward certain potential broad-stroke targets. Sometimes. If you let it.

    But a drug?

    I can tell you that the looks on those kids’ faces indicate surprise at the weirdness of the sound, with the exception of a few who were already high and really surprised at the weirdness of the sound.

  49. #49 |  Bulucanagria | 

    I e-mailed this to my daughter and told her that it was stuff like this that made me proud that she had dropped out of school. She did it for all the right reasons. When she was caught smoking reefer, her principal told her that she could be high, look at a light switch, look away and when she looked back it would be gone and then her head would explode! She couldn’t stand to stay in school and be “taught” by such idiots. When I talked to her about pot, I said that it was a lot of fun, but she probably wouldn’t get much done, and she knew that I spoke from experience. She soon outgrew marijuana, decades quicker than it took me to. Public schools are no place for people who can think.

  50. #50 |  wsad | 

    There are no studies that show binaural sounds can alter brainwaves in such a way they claim they can. This is complete and utter bunk.

  51. #51 |  Toastrider | 

    *opens mouth, shuts it*

    Next up: the drug terror that is ROLLER COASTER RIDES!!

    *bangs head on desk*

  52. #52 |  ezrydn | 

    No more “Dark Side of the Moon.” It’ll get me busted or worse, hooked. Alpha generating music has been available for download off the net for as long as I’ve been on the net and I think my card number is #3. LOL

    Don’t these people remember anything from the schools they presumably attended? Now, having an Okie as a father, I can understand how Mr. Narc just recently heard about Alpha music. However, when one starts running out of “baddies” that are supported by fewer and fewer, well, he just has to go out and create something.

    And today’s parents are really to stupid to see through it. That’s what’s so sad.

  53. #53 |  undrgrndgirl | 

    what you fail to remember (or know) is that oklahoma is in a twenty-year time warp…so in oklahoma bizarro world, they are quite up-to-date…

  54. #54 |  Maria | 

    How do these people report on this stuff without cracking up on air?

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  56. #56 |  noumena | 

    You know, when this was called White Noise and yuppies were using it nobody cared. Same thing with cocaine.

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