Five-Star Fridays: V-Day Edition

Friday, February 12th, 2010

This Billboard list of “sexiest songs” is offensive to anyone who has ever had sex. Do people really shag to “Sledgehammer”? And “Honky Tonk Women”? Because nothing’s hotter than a lyric like, “She blew my nose and then she blew my mind.”

Anyway, I’ll offer up a little Solomon Burke in protest. Here’s “Flesh and Blood,” the Joe Henry-penned tuned from Burke’s masterful album Don’t Give Up on Me.

Feel free to add your own favorites in the comments. Let’s see if we can compile a better gettin’ it on playlist than Billboard’s.

Certainly can’t do much worse!

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45 Responses to “Five-Star Fridays: V-Day Edition”

  1. #1 |  pegr | 

    Any Sade…

    (Wow, I’m getting a little worked up just thinking about it…)

  2. #2 |  ClubMedSux | 

    Wow, that’s a horrible list. Olivia Newton-John? Great for doing aerobics (particularly if you’re doing aerobics in 1987); not so much for gettin’ it on. And only one Prince song? Wow. Offhand I would contribute “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” by Otis Redding. Hell, I could come up with at least ten Redding songs better than Billboard’s top ten. Dude was the MAN.

  3. #3 |  Nick T | 

    I would go with ‘6 Underground’ by the Sneaker Pimps. I’m pretty sure the song is about doing drugs, but the rhythm and melody are pretty freaky.

  4. #4 |  Yizmo Gizmo | 

    I was always under the impression “She blew my nose…”
    was a lyric created under duress, changed from the original, one
    not hard to imagine.

  5. #5 |  Stormy Dragon | 

    How can they leave out Barry White?

  6. #6 |  Sam | 

    Without bothering to look, can I assume that “Let’s Get It On” is on there? Or Bruce Springsteen’s “The Fever”?

  7. #7 |  Jeff | 

    There are at least a couple of Billie Holliday songs that should be on there too.

  8. #8 |  Nick T | 

    #2 has a good point re: Prince. No “Get off?” That’s crazy.

  9. #9 |  Geoff | 

    Ha #5 Stormy Dragon. I was about to post the same comment. I would also insist on at least one Al Green song.

  10. #10 |  Tom Foolery | 

    All about Thievery Corporation:

    Lebanese Blonde:

  11. #11 |  Sallie | 

    Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.

  12. #12 |  Bob Dole Lives! | 

    Where is “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails? Come on!

  13. #13 |  Pandora Seraph | 

    I vote for “wicked game” by Chris Isaac. Predictable perhaps, but so damn good.

  14. #14 |  Cynical in CA | 

    This one’s personal: Us and Them by Pink Floyd.

    At my bachelor party in 1992, my buddies hired two strippers who put on a live sex show. The “climax” was set to Us and Them. In a big tip of the cap to Pavlov, I still get half a chub when the first notes of the song play.

  15. #15 |  Rhayader | 

    Music? You mean nobody else just turns on C-Span in the background?

  16. #16 |  the innominate one | 

    “Rough Sex” and “Pussy” by The Lords of Acid
    Depeche Mode’s Violator album
    The Cure’s Disintegration album

  17. #17 |  MG | 

    Best song ever to fuck to – Rock and Roll Part 2 by Gary Glitter, if you can tune out all of Glitter’s late life pervertedness.

  18. #18 |  wunder | 

    If You Can’t Slow Down – Big Head Todd and the Monsters:
    Little Wing – Stevie Ray Vaughan version is my favorite
    You Do Something to Me – Paul Weller
    Bellbottom Blues – Eric Clapton
    Crazy Love – Van Morrison
    (I may have an entire playlist of this stuff.)

    and in agreement with commentors above – lots of Otis Redding

  19. #19 |  Bruce N. Stein | 

    Massive Attack – Angel (on Mezzanine). By far one-of-if-not-the top sexiest songs out there. It’s like aural foreplay.

    Pun intended, so there.

  20. #20 |  Bruce N. Stein | 

    Link to Massive Attack – Angel:

  21. #21 |  Lance | 

    To name a few personal faves that haven’t come up yet:

    Into the Mystic – Van Morrison
    By Your Side – Sade
    Mayonnaise – Smashing Pumpkins
    Badfish – Sublime
    Saddest Sunset – Lili Haydn
    Not Enough Time – INXS
    Untitled – D’angelo
    When the Stars Go Blue – Ryan Adams

  22. #22 |  Lance | 

    Crap and another personal favorite:

    Turn Your Lights Down Low – Bob Marley

  23. #23 |  MicroNomics | 

    “Lovely Rita Meter Maid” — How the ending got past the censors in those days, I don’t know.

    From a more satirical perspective:

    “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” – Meat Loaf

    Now I’m prayin’ for the end of time
    To hurry up and arrive

    And two from Zappa’s Over-Nite Sensation:

    “Dirty Love” and “Dinah-Mo-Humm”

    On a more serious note from a not quite yet sexagenarian, Joni Mitchell’s “Come in from the Cold”

  24. #24 |  B | 

    “Slip It In” by Black Flag with Suzi Gardner.

    Not so much in the “music to have sex to” category as in the “songs about sex that are pretty hot” category.

  25. #25 |  B | 

    More recently, “I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked” by Ida Maria is pretty great.

  26. #26 |  Rhayader | 

    “Lovely Rita Meter Maid” — How the ending got past the censors in those days, I don’t know.

    They were too busy worrying about drug references on that album.

  27. #27 |  Will | 

    no but we’ve stuck the speaker under the bed and cranked tick tock by stevie Ray Vaughn LOL

  28. #28 |  Sithmonkey | 

    Isley Brothers – Between the Sheets

  29. #29 |  Leah | 

    #26 – To the censors, it goes:
    Violence > Sex > Drugs

  30. #30 |  Leah | 

    Pretend the greater than sign means “better than.”

  31. #31 |  max | 

    It’s all about Van Morrison. Especially Astral Weeks.

  32. #32 |  A.G. Pym | 

    Alan Parsons project, “Pyramid,” “Hyper-Gamma-Spaces.” Over and over and over and . . . .

  33. #33 |  IrishMike | 

    Yikes what a terrible list. Clearly some criteria was needed. There are any number of candidates for the “stupidest choice” award but I have to nominate “She-Bop” since it is blatantly about masturbation. I’m surprised “I Touch Myself” didn’t make it.

  34. #34 |  nathan | 

    There’s a huge difference between songs about sex (which is what this list appears to be), songs that make you want to have sex (and make the one you are with want to as well), and songs that are great during sex. The first list is probably the most universal among people. Most people seem to be posting their “lead-in” songs here; I find that half of them are turn-off songs for me. And almost none of the songs posted on here so far make my “during” list; I’m more into wordless (or vocals as an instrument, not a focal point) music then, mostly of a downtempo electronica variety. I would not expect that to fit more than a few others here.

  35. #35 |  don | 

    Tootsie Roll!!!!!

  36. #36 |  FIREhat | 

    I’ve had great success with Alejandro Escovedo’s double album Room of Songs.

  37. #37 |  the innominate one | 

    to clarify my previous post:

    Depeche Mode’s Violator album and The Cure’s Disintegration album are for making love.

    Lords of Acid are for fucking. or Buck Naked and the Bare Bottom Boys’ eponymous (and only) album if she’s a bit country/ rockabilly or in that mood.

  38. #38 |  basschimp | 

    The album “Lateralus” by Tool has inspired some of my best performances.

    “Verklarte Nacht” by Arnold Schoenberg, sets an excellent mood. Get the string sextet version, not the string orchestra arrangement. (English: Transfigured Night)

    Single songs:

    “Tequila and Chocolate” by Medeski Scofield Martin & Wood
    “Can I Sleep in Your Arms” by Willie Nelson
    “Help Me Make It Through the Night” by Kris Kristofferson
    “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton (cheesy, but works like a charm…)

  39. #39 |  MattinCincy | 

    Enigma anyone?

  40. #40 |  Mario | 

    I realize it’s not a “song,” and it’s perhaps a bit of a cliche, thanks to Dudley Moore and Bo Derek; but if you haven’t shagged to Ravel’s Bolero, you don’t know what you’re missing.

  41. #41 |  Tim Worstall | 

    Part of the plot of the movie “10” with Bo Derek and Dudley Moore (jeez, I feel old having to explain these references) revolves around her preference of making love to Ravel’s Bolero.

    The full 20 minute version with it’s contantly increasing tempo is, umm, let’s say very rarely entirely managed.

    Fun trying though.

  42. #42 |  Jack | 

    La Femme D’Argent – Air
    I wanna spend the night with you – Bill Withers
    You’re not alone – Olive
    Avalon – Roxy Music

  43. #43 |  Marty | 

    ry cooder, especially the mid-80s John Hiatt stuff. Paul Weller is the best live white soul singer on the planet, now that Van is getting old. both are big on my list.
    my girlfriend loves john mayer acoustic covers of his and other songs. I’ve learned to appreciate them!

  44. #44 |  ChrisD | 

    I’ll add most of the album Dummy by Posrtishead, especially Glory Box and Mysterons.

    Never an Easy Way, Who Can You Trust, Almost Done by Morcheeba.

  45. #45 |  steve | 

    Maxwell – Know These Things- Shouldn’t You
    Iron and Wine – Promising Light