TheAgitator.com
Because Nothing Says Impact Like the Passive Voice!
Sunday, January 3rd, 2010When I was in Indiana last week, I saw signs all over the interstate like this one:
The billboards are part of a re-branding campaign for Indiana University-Purdue University at Indianapolis, a joint, largely commuter satellite campus for the state’s two big public universities. I really hope IUPUI didn’t pay an outside PR firm a lot of money to come up with the slogan. In fact, someone should probably be fired for it. It’s so bad it’s funny.
I’ve heard worse. I remember hearing an ad on the radio for a Commnity College that said you could complete your degree in “half the time” and then said you would be completing your degree “50% faster.” Half the time = twice the speed, and twice something = 100% more.
But yeah that slogan sucks. Shouldn’t there be an “An” in there?
Second worst slogan ever.
Worst was that diet cola that asserted “Never had it, never will.”
Unbelievably bad, ridiculously watered down and…unimpactful? I mean, these PR genii couldn’t go with “Make An Impact?!” two less syllables, assonant, etc? The mind boggles…
As a guitar player, one of my favorites has always been “Only A Gibson Is Good Enough.” Not only do they use “good enough” in their slogan, just place the “only” behind the “is” and see what happens! Imbeciles.
Well, if the impact is negative and you want to hide the blame for it, you use passive voice.
Perhaps they’re doing it on purpose.
Yes, use of the passive voice really robs language of any impact. Consider this phrase, which resorts more than once to use of the passive voice; We hold these truths to be self evident: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights. . .
@parse:
I wasn’t saying that the passive voice can’t have impact, it just doesn’t in this case.
As to your example, well, there’s great ideas, and then there’s great poetry, and finally there’s the magnificent conjoining of the two….
I’ve never been a fan of the term “impactful” — not sure if it’s a word, but it shouldn’t be. Saw an ad with the term recently.
Speaking of signs: I saw two huge “Who Is John Galt?” billboards on I-95 in southern GA. There’s one southbound, I think just before Exit 3 or so. The Northbound one was around Exit 8 I think. Wish I could have taken a picture, but I was driving.
Impact Made Here. made IMPACT here
I work on the rehab ward of a hospital, and the management came up with an idea for T-shirts as a way to “promote morale” without addressing the fact that it was an understaffed shithole that reduced our range of autonomy and discretion a little further every fucking day. They bore the slogan “where differences are made.” I thought of making my own with the slogan “where shits are not given.”
This Christmas, the hospital “gift” to employees was a T-shirt with the hospital logo on the front and “core values” (they spell out PRIDE) on the back. I decorated it with a laundry market, adding “SUCKS” on the front and a bit of commentary under the PRIDE values: “A new bullshit slogan to pay lip service to, in place of the old bullshit slogans we paid lip service to.” I’ll probably leave it in the lot in front of the Salvation Army soup kitchen so the dirtiest, skankiest street person in town can be seen wearing it around.
Several years ago, somebody in management made the strategic decision to stop giving us a $15 gift card from the supermarket, and instead spend the same amount of money on cheap shit clothing, umbrellas, etc. with the hospital logo on them. Because nothing says appreciation like enlisting someone for free advertising.