Man cited for DWI while operating motorized La-Z-Boy. Let’s put aside the DWI stuff for a sec. Thanks to this man, we’ve now been introduced to the phrase motorized La-Z-Boy. I’d be willing to disperse with my general objection to nobility in order to give this guy some sort of title. He’s earned it.
Your headline of the day.
Kansas man could be prosecuted for using profanity.
Rep. Steve Buyer’s (R-IN) “scholarship fund” is five years old, has raised nearly a million dollars, and has paid for fun fundraising trips and golf outings at exotic locations for Buyer and his contributors, who also happen to be corporations with business before his committee. Oh, also, the fund hasn’t yet handed out a single scholarship.
“Need an amputee to complete my Halloween costume…”
Minnesota Supreme Court says bong water counts as a “drug” when determining the weight of drugs in a suspect’s possession for charging and sentencing.
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on Friday, October 23rd, 2009 at 9:47 am by Radley Balko
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TheAgitator.com
Now if only there was a respectable person to run against Buyer in 2010, I could fulfill one of my short-term goals in life by working on a campaign and seeing him get voted out.
The La-Z-Boy thing was good.
Does anybody remember that case a few years back about a guy being charged for DUI while riding a horse? His defense was that the horse had a mind of it’s own, and was not drunk. I’m 99.9% sure he was found guilty anyway but does anyone know for sure on the outcome of that case?
“A narcotics officer had testified that drug users sometimes keep bong water to drink or inject later.”
Huh? Drink, maybe, on a dare. But inject? I’d like to know if anyone has ever known anyone who has actually done that. If so, I’m out of the loop.
DWI? I say it’s a crime to be sober while driving around in your motorized La-Z-Boy.
#3
I know people who would use schnapps for the liquid and then do shots with it after we were done.
I mean after “they” were done.
LMAO!
I’ve never smoked pot… but it’s statements like yours that give me plenty of cause to regret being such a pussy in my youth. I’m not sure doing schnapps bong shot as I approach middle age would be appropriate, but I can see substituting scotch instead and not being too embarrassed about it.
25 grams of water is less than one US fluid ounce.
I am the only one who reads these morning links and wonders whether they have undiagnosed masochistic tendencies? Reading them pisses me off every day and yet I keep coming back. I’m becoming concerned that it might be a gateway activity to something worse like perhaps repeatedly jabbing myself with a big ol’ hat pin. Could it be a warning sign that I might someday saw my arm off to get my picture on Ogrish? Just thinkin’ out loud here.
By that standard, the total mass of the earth should be added to any MJ plant found growing on a plot of land. It would make a great headline for the drug warlords:
MAN ARRESTED FOR POSSESSION OF SIX SEXTILLION TONS OF POT
Clearly, someone needs to invent the helium bong. Lightens both your voice and your sentence….
Overland Park Police ticketed Shahrokhi for disorderly conduct, which includes using offensive, obscene or abusive language to arouse alarm, anger or resentment in others.
I though perhaps the issue might be that his language might be considered incitement to some violent act which is one of the many many many exceptions the Supremes have carved out of the First Amendment, but the wording above says they can arrest someone for merely saying something that might piss someone else off.
I think the idea that America is a nation of sheep is a misnomer. We’re really a nation of pussies.
Dave, relax. I showed this to a psychiatrist and he says you do. So you now have DIAGNOSED masochistic tendencies. He says you should refrain from doing things to hurt yourself, like watching TV news or reading the newspapers.
I’m not sure the Minnesota Supreme Court is entirely to blame on this bong water case. Reading both the opinion and the statute at issue, it appears the problem isn’t so much with the court as it is with the legislators who wrote a shitty law (shocking, I know). According to Minn. Stat. § 152.021, subd. 2(1), a person commits a first-degree controlled-substance crime if that person possesses one or more “mixtures” that contain a controlled substance and that weigh 25 grams or more. Minn. Stat. § 152.01, subd. 9a defines a “mixture” as “a preparation, compound, mixture, or substance containing a controlled substance, regardless of purity.” While I agree that it’s a terrible law, it seems clear that if the bong water contains methamphetamine (as it did in this case) it falls under the statute. Granted you can argue that the court should basically ignore the statute because it’s unjust (which is what the dissenting opinion did) but I would place most of the blame with the legislature for including the phrase “regardless of purity” in the statute.
You read it here first, folks. In some contexts, possession of water is now a felony. And to think it that until recently the campaign to ban water (see http://www.dhmo.org) was the province of internet satire.
The members of the Minnesota Supreme Court should be waterboarded with bong water.
I pass water two or three times a day. Does this mean I’m trafficing every time I use a urinal?
my bong-water squirt gun is illegal?!!
I had a room mate in college who saved his old bong in Moose Head beer bottles and drank it later. He was also a pot dealer, though, so when the campus cops busted him before the first semester was even over, he had enough weed on him that they didn’t need to cite the water. On the other hand, it could not possibly have helped at either trial or sentencing if it even went that far. I forget what happened to him. I think his daddy got him treatment instead of jail. In that case, having bong water around for imbibing might help a non-user decide you have a problem. Being rich and white didn’t hurt either.
I meant “bong water.” Not sure if they make a bong small enough to fit into a Moose Head beer bottle. Do they even make Moose Head anymore? Am I dating myself?
Yes they do still make Moose Head, had it just last week as a matter of fact.
In Missoula, Moose Drool beer is de rigeur.
Quick call the swat teams, there are about 41 Million raids to conduct
With perscription drugs found in tap water that makes everybody a felon:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-03-10-drugs-tap-water_N.htm
I think Radley has written how some states include legal prescription drugs and over the counter drugs in calculating the total weight of the illegal drug found.
This ties in nicely with Radley’s post a few days ago about how people think crime is on the rise when it is still declining. Government needs to make news laws to keep the police busy and government contractors building jails.
Long ago, I concluded about Moose Head that they were honest about where it came from, if not which end.
Dave,
If anyone ever asks I’ll swear that post was just an unfortunate typo. A couple weekends ago I bought a little bubbler pipe, strictly for tobacco of course. I learned quickly that if you’re using it while watching football and something happens in the middle of lighting it not to yell with it in your mouth. It shot water out the top all over my colts jersey.
On drinking bongwater: First, eww. Second, since THC is not water-soluable, bongwater should not contain any of the actual drug, and so should not be used to calculate the weight for marijuana sentencing.
It might be different for meth, which is what the article was about.
And it might be different if you put vodka in your bong. THC *is* alcohol-soluable.
I feel all grown up losing track of Moose Head. Not sure about Wiedemann, TJ Swann, or Malt Duck either. (and no I’m not asking) So glad I can afford better and afford to shop in stores than advertise better.
Tokin42: If I recall correctly nothing is harder to get out of carpet than the smell of spilled bong water. Least that’s what I hear.
In other news, the Boston Globe is berating the MA Attorney General for failing to triumph in the SCOTUS case regarding the cross-examination of forensic experts that Radley blogged about extensively:
http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/10/23/coakley_had_tough_time_in_case_before_supreme_court/
How dare the AG fail to adequately protect a blatantly unconstitutional law! Burn the witch!
Thanks, Fluffy, for spoiling a Friday.
It is truly depressing that the so-called “Fourth Estate”, which fancies itself THE DEFENDERS OF THE PEE-PUL cannot accept that one has the right to cross examine those testifying against one.
I guess I’m just being sooo 1215.
“It was unclear what caused the bear to attack Mr Potapov, who died at the scene from his injuries under the care of medical personnel, he said.”
I dunno, maybe it was being forced to do something no bear should ever be doing in its natural state, like wearing fucking ice skates.
I swear, sometimes I hate the human race with every fiber of my being.
Regarding the story about the Kansas man…
He is, of course, being prosecuted in the county that illegally (since he wasn’t a resident of Johnson County) appointed Phill Kline to be their D.A. mainly because of his stance on abortion after voters in an overwhelmingly Republican state booted him out of the AG’s office with almost 60% of the vote. The Republican Party leadership in that part of Kansas is all about “family values” and the D.A. is a Republican…so it doesn’t really surprise me that they’d do something as stupid as prosecute profanity with the hope of getting jail time. Chirpy Jesus freaks rarely care about moderation or individual rights once they get their teeth into a “moral” issue.
Moose Drool – good stuff, I like what I’ve had from that brewery
Moose Head – ermmm, opinions vary obviously, I’m going with the “not from the drool end of the moose” one
Bong Water – that cop should be tried for perjury, or there are some morons out there
Bong Vodka – well, the THC solubility theory might make it somewhat worthwhile to consume, but let’s think about how this works. The gas bubbles through the liquid, so it’s not like it’s mixing with/dissolving appreciable amounts of what’s in the gas in the liquid
Bong Scotch – waste of scotch
Tokin42- I like how you roll! lol
Scott- Scotch sounds like a very civilized substitution
Dave k- you’re not alone. Sometimes the morning links make the sound of a scotch bong water shot sound reasonable and appealing!
I reported the sick halloween craigslist post to my local amputee union, and they are really up in stumps over this. They will not stand by and let this happen
Are they going to roll over or are they going to go out on a limb? If you axe me, they should hop up to the block and cut to the bone on this, chop chop.
Ewww I wouldn’t drink bong water regardless of what alcoholic beverage it is. Just one bowl is enough to turn anything into a nasty smelly and overall disgusting substance..
@ #15
Maybe it’s because it’s the end of the day on Friday, but… the way that statute reads, anyone busted for possession could (theoretically) have their entire body weight added to the “amount possessed”. And… if they were smoking in their homes, the weight of all their furniture, clothes, carpeting, wall paint, etc.
I know of (but don’t know) a group of hippies that have one bong that has bourbon in it and they smoke through it for a year (adding more when necessary) then strain and drink it on New Years.
But this is third hand info, so take it for what it’s worth.
This amputee could fit, and would likely agree to do it, with his sense of humor and his strength of purpose:
http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ajc.com%2Fnews%2Fnation-world%2Fminn-court-bong-water-170121.html%3Fcxntlid%3Dthbz_hm&t=Minn.%20court%3A%20Bong%20water%20can%20count%20as%20illegal%20drug%20%C2%A0%7C%20ajc.com#/video/video.php?v=1082563870403&ref=share
One has to wonder if the judge in that case has stock in volcano vaporizers.
https://www.thevolcanovaporizer.com/index.php
The amputee guy is just pulling your leg. A hand-waving argument could be made that he really is nuts, but I’d say there’s nothing to be al-armed about.
That’s nothing. I know a group of satanists who pass themselves off as hippies. Every year on christmas they combine the blood of a newborn baby with bong water and offer it as a sacrifice to their dark lord.
MDGuy @ 11:24 PM
Just when did you get to know Dick Cheney?
Ok…no matter what you do with the rest of your life (Pulitzer for exposoing shoddy work in forensics), will you ever top the triple threat of posting on motorized Laz-E-Boys, ice skating bears, and amputee C3P0s?
The caption under the profanity “victim” made it all worth it: “F-BOMBED”
We should make the motorized Lazyboy guy an Earl. Thus when they are inevitably called ‘Andersons’ we can all say, ‘Did you know the anderson is named after the Earl of Anderson?’
Ahh, all you young ‘uns.
Don’t you remember the Nickelodeon show Roundhouse in the late 80′s – early 90′s? I used to watch it with my daughter.
The “Dad” had a Dad-chair – a motorized La-Z-Boy with a TV, snack tray table and lamp attached.
This guy was just lamenting his (or his kid’s) lost youth when he got potted and went for a little drivey.
“Minn. Stat. § 152.01, subd. 9a defines a “mixture” as “a preparation, compound, mixture, or substance containing a controlled substance, regardless of purity.”
By this definition virtually everyone in America is guilty of cocaine possession by simply having cash.
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