TheAgitator.com
Not an April Fool’s Joke
Wednesday, April 1st, 2009So at about 8:30am this morning, while I was in the shower, there was a loud banging at my door. I decided it couldn’t be important enough for me to cut the shower short, so I decided not to answer. The banging continued, louder and more persistent. I got out, peeked out the window, and see a bunch of Alexandria Sheriff’s Department deputies outside my door. Honest to God, my first reaction was, “Wow, this is one ridiculous April Fool’s joke.”
So I got dressed. The pounding continued. My dog was going crazy. I was a little freaked out, given that I’m sorta’ the main critic of police raids, and there are a bunch of cops banging on my door. I answered, and the cop flashed his badge. I could tell pretty quickly by the look on his face that I wasn’t the guy he was looking for. He showed me a picture of a scary-looking fellow, and asked if the man in the photo lived at my house. I said no, and that I’d lived at the house for three years. Apparently the guy either lived in the house before me, or was using my address as a decoy.
The cops were very polite and professional. They didn’t come into the house, even after I opened the door. I also got the impression that this guy was a pretty serious offender, although they didn’t say why they were looking for him. So it’s worth noting that they knocked and waited a good five minutes for me to answer. That’s worth commending, too. A forced entry would have been disastrous.
It was a little unnerving, given what I do for a living. And that it happened today, of all days. But I really have no complaints about how they handled the situation. The cop also apologized for disturbing me.
So good on them.
MORE: I’m not buying the conspiracy theories being bandied about in the comments section. Coincidences do happen. I have no reason to doubt that’s what happened here.
For all we bitch about cops on this site for effect (downplaying good cops and/or playing up bad cops so people realize how bad the bad ones are), it’s always good to hear when cops actually are professional and appropriate. And this also proves that us libertarians aren’t all gun-toting wackos… we treat non-agression with non-agression, we respect the rights of those that respect our rights.
I’m glad that this turned out to be a complete non-event for you, Radley.
Radley, that’s so unbelievable that I had to read it twice to convince myself you really meant it, and that it really wasn’t just an April Fools post. You must have been totally freaked out. Did you lock your dog in the bedroom before opening the door?
Be sure to post later about how you are doing. I suspect you, of all people, will keep having alternate, and terrifying, scenarios of how things could have gone down playing through your head all day. I’m sure glad everything was handled professionally.
Glad everything turned out normally.
And an excellent opportunity to point out policework done well and professionally.
I suspect that most cops are good cops in the field and that the bad ones are a small minority. It’s because the bad ones never seem to face any consequences that your work is so badly needed.
Disasterous for you or them?
Just disastrous in the sense that they would have raided the wrong house.
“Disasterous for you or them?”
First one, then the other.
I’ve been waiting for an appropriate post to do some pennance and point out a “good cop” story from the past week. The first cop on the scene of that awful mass murder in that North Carolina nursing home went in by himself, without waiting for backup or SWAT (hello Columbine), followed the sound of the gunfire, took I believe three bullets himself before successfully taking down a man in the midst of committing mass murder. He is a hero.
There are good cops out there. Nice to hear about them some times.
Proof that cops plant evidence: http://www.twincities.com/ci_12033266?nclick_check=1
What if you hadn’t been home?
I’m glad you haven’t had any issues relating to the previous resident, too. My neighborhood was pretty chaotic in the 90′s with criminal activity and resident turnover. People would move into a place and have folks (in all stages of crazy) showing up (at all hours) looking for the previous residents. Kinda unnerving.
Maybe I am too paranoid, but I really don’t beleive this is a coincidence or mere happenstance.
Wrong Door Raid (Sort Of) At Radley Balko’s Home…
Just got this Twitter tweet from Radley Balko:
not april fool’s: alexandria cops just came banging on my door with warrant for guy who doesn’t live here. no swat. dog’s ok. just strange.
UPDATE 1:05pm: Radley has posted a…
Man that is incredible given what you do for a living! Well thankfully no one was hurt or killed. I’m glad they were polite and professional but think about it-here we are all pleasantly surprised and grateful when they DON”T kill or hurt someone.
I am very glad it ended safely. And I also commend the cops for the way it was handled.
Now, the cynic in me would like to say a few words…
The guy they were looking for was probably wanted for something unimportant, like murder or rape or robbery. If they thought he had weed (you know, something dangerous), things probably would have gone down differently at your house.
Most of my dealings with LEOs have been courteous and professional as well.
The assholes stand out though and the blue wall of silence tarnishes the images of cops in general more than than it protects good cops from unwarranted charges.
Maybe they will figure it out but I’m not holding my breath.
no, really- what really happened?
courteous? didn’t break the door down? dogs not shot? handcuffs not applied?
It was Fedex, wasn’t it?!!!
glad things worked the way they’re supposed to! tip of my hat to the cops involved…
How sure are you that it wasn’t a joke? Not everybody says “April Fool’s!” at the end to let their mark off the hook. Those deputies might be laughing it up over donuts right now. ;)
I mean, wrong-door-raid gadfly Radley Balko gets wrong-door-knocked the morning of 4/1? And the deputies are extra-patient and professional….maybe because they know you’ll write about it? Not to say these deputies aren’t professional generally, I have respect for the police in general but this coincidence is too rich….most cops have a sense of humor, too (often quite warped, from what I’ve seen, by their experiences on the street).
Come to think of it, even if they’d wanted to say “April Fools!” they’d likely have resisted, unsure if you’d write them up for abuse of authority or somesuch if they’d let you in on the joke.
I was at a diner this morning. Ordered a cup of coffee. Sure enough, that’s what the waitress brought! Didn’t spill it all over me, didn’t bring me a cup full of rocks, even left two creamers and sugar. To my knowledge, no damage was done, nor was anyone injured, in the kitchen during the preparation of the piping-hot beverage.
Then, when I was done–get this, it’s AWESOME!–she left me a bill for the correct amount for the items that my guest and I had ordered and, subsequently, received.
Bottom line is, if we really respect the “good cops”, then no one here would be raving about the fact that no one, and no pet, was injured or killed during the police visit to Radley’s home. Just like the perfectly competent waitress I had this morning, there is no reason to rave about doing one’s job competently. Let’s save the hero worship for actual heroism.
(It might also be pointed out, since they did, in fact, have a prior or incorrect address, that this would actually have been the equivalent of delivering my coffee skillfully to the wrong table, but to be fair, since the guy was a fugitive, the situation would not really be equivalent unless I was trying to avoid the waitress.)
I’m glad that it ended safely too and that your dog is still alive.
I also wondered what would have happened had you not been home. Maybe they would have broken down the door to have a look, and maybe not.
It also struck me that we’re heaping praise on these guys as “Good Cops” because they came to a house that presumably a “scary looking guy” hasn’t lived in for at least 3 years, and managed to not kill anybody or damage any property.
Everybody I know manages that day in and day out, without a second thought or an offhand comment from anybody. But you know what they say, about obtaining happiness via low expectations.
I does sound a bit suspicious. From the police’s viewpoint, I can see the logic: scare the bejezus out of a local critic, and then undermine his work by giving him nothing to complain about.
If Radley got the name of the suspect they were looking for I wonder if it would be possible to check if there are outstanding warrants for him (is that public record?) or just google stalk him to see if he exists.
Zargon said:
“It also struck me that we’re heaping praise on these guys as “Good Cops” because they came to a house that presumably a “scary looking guy” hasn’t lived in for at least 3 years, and managed to not kill anybody or damage any property.”
Above I said:
“… it’s always good to hear when cops actually are professional and appropriate.”
The only things they did that were at all above their duty were to patiently wait a few minutes outside the home and to be courteous about “wasting” Radley’s time.
That being said, it’s clear that these guys did their job to it’s fullest and without violating anybody’s rights. That’s professional and appropriate and should be accepted as the example, but should in no way be “praised”. I don’t think anybody here is really heaping praise on these guys, as you said. I think we are all appreciating the thorough, patient, and complete public service that these men appear to be fulfilling.
I think that your comment about having low expectations is completely out of line.
As much as I agree with nealry every sentiment Radley expresses on this site, being a cop is not an easy job. When someone carries out a difficult job in a competent and professional manner, you don’t necessarily go crazy singing their praises but it’s quite normal to stop and appreciate the fine job that they did.
I think we’ve all had that experience with professionals (doctors, realtors, hell cab-drivers) where you say to yourself “that person was a pro and did a fine job” versus “oh man, best cabbie EVER!” Plus, given the context of this site, it is very appropriate for Radley to point this out.
I’m tempted to make a joke someone made the last time Radley put up positive things about the police:
Radley, if you are in distress, just post an entry entitled ‘I love Cherry Sundays’ and we will come to assist you.
In the Am I Paranoid Enough? department, shots across the bow are supposed to miss. That doesn’t make them any less warnings.
I get the police activity report each day for our precinct, which is put together by one of the officers there. They are really big on getting information out as much as they can, and they work hard at it.
One thing that jumped out at me recently was a report where a guy called a friend and said he was getting ready to kill his girlfriend, so the friend called the cops. They showed up and knocked on the door, and he screamed at them, slammed the door, and said he was going to kill himself and his girlfriend. They set up a perimeter and called the SWAT team. (Note: actual legit use of SWAT team)
The SWAT team showed up and surrounded the house. Turns out the guy had been shot in the leg the day before and hadn’t got medical help. He passed out from lack of blood and the girlfriend ran out of the house. A few minutes later, he came to and gave himself up.
So, no raid, no forced entry, none of that. A gun was involved, there was a hostage, yet everybody went home (or to jail) with no injuries.
I don’t understand why other police forces can’t pull this off.
Holy shit man. Glad everything went down alright.
Bill that is very similar to what my wife, and I have talked about.
She said “It is only the bad videos, or stories about cops, and never them doing their regular job.”
I said “Yes that’s true, but you also do not see videos, or stories about plumbers just doing their regular job.
She said “What about videos, or stories of bad plumbers?”
I said “True! You never see, or hear about bad plumbers, and there are about the same amount of plumbers as police. Maybe that tells you something about how bad the police are.”
I bet he was a violent offender and not a marijuana grower. So they just knock on the door and wait for you to answer when serving warrants, rather than going delta force strikesquad on your domicile.
Michael Chaney you are just demonstrating what I have preached on here before.
Cops, and SWAT do not rush unless there is very little threat to them. When it is known that a suspect is armed, or considered dangerous SWAT will wait many hours, and try to talk them out.
When the danger is minimal they kick in the doors, shoot dogs, act aggressive, and tell reporters how dangerous their jobs are.
After re-reading, it appears I misread some comments to be more positive about the outcome than they actually were. Nonetheless, it speaks volumes about the state of police organization as a whole when somebody has an interaction with the police and the first thought to cross many people’s minds (including mine) is “glad to hear you came out with person & property intact”.
Perhaps low expectations isn’t quite what I meant, but it’s close. We breath a sigh of relief when we hear of this encounter not going wrong because we have a rather low perception of average outcomes of encounters with police (expectation of actual outcomes). I suppose it could be argued that we have a high expectation (expectation of desired outcomes) of them, but that we know full well that those expectations are far from being met.
I agree with Matt.
It’s too big of coincidence that the police came calling on Radley Balko, the world-renowned Arch-Nemesis of Police No-Knock Raid Misadventures, on April Fool’s Day.
I think that Radley just got “April Fooled” this a.m…………..
Thanks for explaining, Zargon, and I wholly concur with your point. We have a feel for what the statistically expected outcome should be, and its a sad state of our country that such bad occurrences are so frequent as to bring our statistical expectations to such lows.
Methinks the Agitator should invest in a front door security cam.
The reason why we SHOULD hear and be angry about ANY instance of a cop doing bad is because they have the power, and the power of the system, to remove your freedom, to kill you, to destroy your life, to ruin your reputation. No plumber has this power.
I think so too, it’s just too much of a coincidence. If I were you Radley, I’d want the dispatcher calls, the police radio calls, etc. to trace this instance of showing up at your door. If there isn’t solid evidence of a legitimate inquiry, then it’s a waste of taxpayer dollars and an affront to liberty. Police don’t have the luxury of “punking” us Citizen Nothings, as someone could easily be frightened, die, etc.
Maybe it was a sting. They come in and be unusually professional, video the whole thing in hopes that Radley is unscrupulous enough to mischaracterize the whole incident in print, then they release the video and discredit one of thier critics.
Then again, maybe it was just a “We know where you live buddy!”.
Don’t I wish.
Don’t I wish.
BamBam-”The reason why we SHOULD hear and be angry about ANY instance of a cop doing bad is because they have the power, and the power of the system, to remove your freedom, to kill you, to destroy your life, to ruin your reputation. No plumber has this power.”
Exactly! People complain about bad plumbers, dishonest salesmen and greedy price gouging contractors all the time but none of those have the power to totally destroy your life like the police do.
No, it was just a fly-by to see if anything obvious presented itself that could be used against Radley. With no smoldering hooter in the ashtray or answering the door with a Colt 45 in one hand, they didn’t have anything to use, so they finished their bogus inquiry and left.
Expect another ruse to come calling in the evening sometime soon. Remember to mod me up after Radley writes about it.
(I wish I was kidding…)
While I do think until the drug war is over (if it ever is) there will inevitably be police tactics that will be troubling. However, while I’m no critic of Radley, I think it would be effective if at least on some of these bad cop stories, there could be an accompanying story showing that when things are done right, better outcomes are reached.
Like others have said, it isn’t necessary or right to heap tons of praise on the “good” cops, but I think it shows that the other side either doesn’t know what they are talking about or is lying when they talk about the necessity of their tactics.
Michael Chaney:
“I don’t understand why other police forces can’t pull this off.”
Because it’s really f*ing hard to pull that off on a regular basis. What’s easy (strategically) is to go in guns a’blazin.
[...] an April Fools’ joke: The police visited Radley Balko’s house this morning and left without assaulting him or shooting his [...]
Radley got pranked on April Fools’ Day.
It is ENTIRELY too big of coincidence, and defies the law of probability for this police action on April Fools’ Day, since it concerns none other than:
Renowned writer, blogger and commentator on Police SWAT team tactices and misadventures.
Who features prominently posts on police Puppycides across the U.S.
Provided recent extensive coverage of Mayor Calvo and the P.G.’s County LEO’s raid on his home, and subsequent puppycide of his two beloved but obviously ferocious guard dogs, his Labrador Retrievers.
Radley definitely got punked this a.m…….
I really, really, really think you were set-up. And it is very, very scary. ‘Nuf said. You are very lucky it wasn’t a bunch of the cowboy’s we see on S.W.A.T. Am I just being paranoid?
I would seriously advise setting up a camera out of reach of ground level. That way you can film it and have some evidence when they come back, which I think it entirely probable that they will.
Hilarious! My household experienced something slightly similar just last week.
A little history: Two years ago, we moved to the private lake we currently live on from one of Seattle’s more deplorable neighborhoods, where we had lived for four years. He and I were both unemployed when we were suddenly booted from a lease and, although we had the cash to post first, last and deposit, no current employment meant we were going to have a hard time finding a place. A distant relative of mine owned an apartment complex a few miles from where we were living, so, without much investigation, we took it.
Little did I know, this relative of mine was kind of a slum lord. It was no wonder he didn’t mind our lack of employment; he regularly rented to drug dealers. When we moved in, we were assisted by the very polite young men who lived upstairs… 13th St. Bloods or “OBZs” as they called themselves, characterized by the $100 bills tattooed on their forearms. These young men – who actually took fine care of us – would end up being the cause of my first personal experience with severe police misconduct and no-knock narcotics raids.
Anyway, the neighborhood was riddled with crime. In these four years, our complex of a mere 12 units experienced two shootings (one deadly), 3 full-on narcotics raids, two “drive-bys” and a couple dozen police visits due to domestic disturbances or assaults. Whenever there was a police presence, they would BARK at us to get back in our homes and to leave them alone. They’d never alert us as to when the danger had subsided.
If anyone is wondering why we didn’t move as soon as we gained employment, it’s because we had acclimated to this strange but exciting new environment (we were only 20 when we moved in). If you’ve ever been to a BBQ in the ‘hood, you’d understand.
Fast forward to last week. I get a call at work from a bewildered boyfriend at home. “A house across the lake was burglarized by three armed men, but it’s okay, the police caught them.” “That’s great to hear,” I responded casually. “No, you don’t get it,” he said almost frantically, “A cop actually CAME TO THE HOUSE to tell us – knocked on the door like he was any other visitor. He’s going to ALL the houses on the lake. He didn’t try to come in or anything. He was chatty, Athena. CHATTY. Can you believe it?”
I chuckled because the guy was describing the situation as though he’d just seen a unicorn. But, I can’t blame him. Not everyone gets to experience the dichotomy that is police treatment of poor minorities versus police treatment of wealthy whites, and it’s awfully difficult to transition between viewing a specific uniform as being out to get you and that same uniform being committed to providing you with security.
Prank or not, I’m glad to hear these officers provided a positive example. I certainly sympathize with the situation.
Wow… Sorry about that. I guess I can be a bit verbose.
No apology necessary, Athena #46. Spotlight on some local color.
Oops! Can I say local color here?
It is a simple mistake.
Glad it worked out amicably. For all my grousing, my dealings withs cops have been generally positive too. Most recently, an officer drove up as my dad and I were test-firing a pistol into a ditch alongside the highway (which is legal outside city limits… sort of). The strongest language from the cop was “I can’t have you doin’ that”. He recommended a couple shooting ranges, then apologized for taking up our time.
re: good cops…
Whenever you post a puppycide story, I am reminded of my mother’s experience with the Pennsylvania highway patrol in the early 1980′s. She got lost and flagged down a trooper to ask for directions. He walked over to the car and leaned in through the window to look at her map. Mom was alone in the car with her dog (a pit bull, no less), and the dog went nuts at this perceived threat. The cop jumped back, barely escaping with his skin intact. Then, HE apologized to HER, saying that he should never have leaned into the car and he understood that the dog was just defending her.
One of my crazier friends used to keep a stainless-steel .45 automatic on a lanyard in the shower.
I’m surprised it took 52 comments for someone to mention that Radley is lucky he doesn’t live in Prince George County, MD.
There are coincidences, and then there are conspiracies.
This one smells.
If I were Radley, I’d be using this as an opportunity for some investigative journalism.
You’ve been warned. No coincidence. Want proof? Check with your landlord…bet ya 5 cents no one by that name lived there before you. Try USCOURTS.COM, look him up…
They probably were taping you.
Round 2 is coming. Set up a voip line, call it from your cell during any police contact, let it record…the cop can’t confiscate it when you’re searched / arrested.
They just didn’t bother with or have enough for a search warrant. Otherwise things would have likely been much uglier.
Radley,
I am glad you are okay. No knows more than you just how badly such a situation can go. And, if all is as it appears to be, this is a good example of how there are cops who do their jobs with courtesy and professionalism and understand that the people whose homes they are entering are just people, and not presumed to be enemy scum.
But, I also think 1) this is a pretty big coincidence and 2) “trust, but verify”. As a journalist, I really hope you are taking the name of the suspect that they mentioned to you and checking that he was a suspect (and not known to be somewhere else or already behind bars) and that they had some actual reason to think he was at your address. If you truly feel confident that this was just a coincidence, then there is no more to be said. But, for example, if you would give $100 just to hear five minutes of their conversation as they walked back to their cars, then you don’t feel confident that they weren’t screwing with you. I know that would be the easiest hundred I spent, even if all I ended up hearing was stupid prattle about sports and girlfriends.
Whether a “joke” or a mere coincidence, it’s not even remotely entertaining.
I can’t imagine the Agititrix thought so either, or for that matter, your parents, friends, colleagues, etc.
But I am truly relieved that you and you pooch are well. (Thought you had two dogs?)
Deeply troubled by it myself.
This post has been linked for the HOT5 Daily 4/2/2009, at The Unreligious Right