Fun With Headlines

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

So do you think the headline writer knew what he was doing here?

This Reuters headline is still my all-time favorite.

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19 Responses to “Fun With Headlines”

  1. #1 |  Dave Krueger | 

    I may need to stop reading this site during lunch.

  2. #2 |  Collin | 

    Nah, the best headlines come from the British press:

    Oracle shareholders choke on Ellison’s package
    Size an issue

  3. #3 |  ktc2 |,0,1616907.story

    Police officers beating down a citizen for no reason, lying on their reports, charging the victim with assaulting an officer and then video tape shows up the cops were unaware of . . . charges dropped.

    Of course the “internal review” still found the officers did “nothing wrong” and “violated no policies”.

  4. #4 |  ktc2 | 

    Sorry for that threadjack, I thought it a worthwhile story. At least this time the prosecutors dropped the charges.

  5. #5 |  Marty | 

    We used to make up headlines like the ‘chocolate factory’ one when we were in Jr. High! I should’ve stayed with it…

  6. #6 |  Fred | 

    Favorite headline:

    “Cop makes arrest in bathroom after smelling crack”

  7. #7 |  Dan Brown | 

    This, however, is the most unfortunate headline of all time:

  8. #8 |  Judi | 


  9. #9 |  Dan Brown | 

    One more awesome sports headline:

    And a couple from the 2008 presidential campaign:

  10. #10 |  Dave Krueger | 

    #3 ktc2,0,1616907.story

    From the link:

    “Fort Lauderdale police internal affairs investigators reviewed the incident more than a month ago and found no violations of policy or procedures”

    I guess lying and conspiracy by the three officers to destroy someone’s life in order to cover up their own ineptitude doesn’t constitute a violation of police procedures, much less a crime.

    I would like to say I’m shocked, but I suspect there’s nothing particularly unusual about these three cops.

  11. #11 |  Wavemancali | 

    Damn, the question is, which one do you find more unappetizing?

  12. #12 |  RSDavis | 

    I like this one:


  13. #13 |  ChrisD |

    “Headless body in Topless Bar.”

    Pretty good.

  14. #14 |  Jeff in Chicago | 

    On a review of a biography of Adolph Hitler:

    “Hitler near death at time of suicide”


  15. #15 |  nobahdi | 

    “Hookers lining up for their BJs”

  16. #16 |  freedomfan | 

    ktc2, good link. I am keeping that one handy. If I were on trial for a confrontation with the police, I would want my attorney to play that for the jury, with commentary to the effect,

    Some of you may be thinking, “With the sworn testimony of four cops, there couldn’t be any reasonable doubt.” I want you to consider this video and the false statements of the police at the scene. Those officers were never brought up on charges and can testify in court. This happens all the time. Police lied against the guy in the video, they are lying about my client, and they will lie about you.

  17. #17 |  Helmut O' Hooligan | 

    RE: “Tapping” Clinton

    “So do you think the headline writer knew what he was doing here?”

    Heh heh. Actually I don’t think so. This phrase is so common in political reporting that it may not have even occurred to the writer. I, on the other hand, chuckle everytime I hear that so and so has “tapped” so and so for this or that post. I believe it was Peter Griffin (The Family Guy) who said it best: “yeah, I’m tappin’ that!” Whew, cheap laughs!

  18. #18 |  Helmut O' Hooligan | 


    Oh shit! That’s like something out of The Onion. Man, there’s some gallows humor for ya.

  19. #19 |  DJB | 

    I love that I can come to one web site and get my fill of biting political rhetoric, in depth investigative reporting and laugh out loud potty humor. My man you have a tip coming your way.