TheAgitator.com
Venti to Grande
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008Two wonderful things that apparently don’t go so wonderfully together:
Women who drink a lot of coffee may see their breasts become more petite, according to the results of a new Swedish study.
Around half of all women possess a gene shown to link breast size to coffee intake.
“Drinking coffee can have a major effect on breast size,” said Helena Jernström, a lecturer in experimental oncology at Lund University.
On the plus side, the reduction in breast size apparently makes those same women less susceptible to breast cancer.
So, I take it the Agitatrix drinks a lot of coffee, and you’re concerned?
Crap. So now what? Coke for breakfast?
Suddenly I am siding with the leftists: Starbucks is evil – a crime against humanity!
Wow…nature is a cruel mistress.
The most read article of the day on that site is http://www.thelocal.se/15076/20081020/.
The choice bit:
“A pastor in Gothenburg recently came under scrutiny for moistening post-it notes with his penis and sticking them up in an office.”
Does it work for men too? There’s more than a few men out there who could use a boob reduction — please.
Bob@9:53, I do drink espresso.
…
And yes, they are fabulous
On the plus side, the reduction in breast size apparently makes those same women less susceptible to breast cancer.
This is a risk I’m willing to take. No more coffee.
/not serious
Agitatrix,
Shouldn’t that be “spectacular”.
/seinfeld
Not much info in the article – does anyone know if it’s regular or decaf?
Caffeine is an appetite suppressant, breasts are made of fat; if it’s caffeinated coffee, then this doesn’t seem all that surprising.
Either way, I’m encouraging the wife to drink coffee; smaller and cancer-free seems like a good trade off. And as a long term bonus, we reduce the effects of gravity.
Grad students have probably never before taken such pleasing quantitative measurements in the history of science.
The follow up study, of course, should also examine the effect of coffee on hip and thigh measurements.
chsw
No worries, I’m a butt man.
No worries, I’m a leg man. Though I would never object to a nice pair of breasts.
In fact, would any man object to a nice pair?
….unless they left out the side-effect of enhanced gluteus maximus……
I’ll bet they can make a case that drinking a lot of coffee causes (ie: “is linked to”) breast implants, too.
I gave up on statistic when I found out that merely forcing myself to be left handed wasn’t making me smarter and driving a BMW wasn’t making me richer.
Heck no, its like having ice cream with your pie….errr…uhhh…no pun intended.
Missed that part about causality didn’t ya. :)
How long will it be before coffee becomes a Schedule I drug?
Actually, I was making a sarcastic wisecrack about how readily we accept statistics as if they are interchangeable with causality.
Don’t know Frank. I had a Mochasippi from CC’s yesterday and 10 minutes later I realized I was completely wired. I don’t know if it was my empty stomach or if they just put too much espresso in it, but in short, caffeine is a pretty darned powerful drug.
On a good note, it’s so widely used that, much like alcohol, I don’t think you’ll see much about it change.
The wifeperson will have to make a decision soon regarding breast reduction. (No jokes, guys–she had a spinal fusion at 13 and that, plus her having MS, makes having large breasts a physical liability.) So, since she’s already a java fiend, perhaps I should encourage that–maybe make coffee smoothies, for example.
More coffee=smaller boobs=less cancert? In the first option I get coffee and not cancer, in the second I get somewhat bigger boobs.
I know what I pick.
If you fill breast implants with coffee instead of saline, you’ll create the best perpetual motion machine ever.
“On the plus side, the reduction in breast size apparently makes those same women less susceptible to breast cancer.”
Fucking tradeoffs.
I really wonder how many women were in this study and just how accurate it is. I highly doubt that caffeine has anything to do with breast size. Since I moved in with my father 4 years ago, I drink nothing but diet coke for the most part and my breast size went up.
Oh the huge mammaries!!!
Oh the joys of never having to own a bra! Though she has two, both are for show.
The real glow is still there. and one can’t believe how nice it is to have zero tit problems. Especially having to deal with such articles as bras are.
Bring on another latte!