TheAgitator.com
We’re From the Government. We’d Rather Pay for It.
Wednesday, September 10th, 2008Retired Glenwood Springs car dealer John Haines’ hope of donating a giant chunk of snow -white marble to the federal government to replace the cracked Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery is stalled again.
Haines’ hoped-for donation, which has sat outside the Yule Quarry near Marble since it was cut for the tomb in 2003, didn’t even rate a mention in a 34-page Department of the Army report to Congress this week on replacement and repair options for the deteriorating tomb.
Haines’ donation creates problems for the federal government because it is free and has not gone through a pricey bidding and specification process.
[...]
This week’s report — the latest in a string of tomb reports done since Arlington officials decided the marble needed replacing 18 years ago — estimates the cost of replacing the tomb’s marble at $2.2 million — $80,000 of that for seeking bids, $90,000 for buying and transporting the marble and the remainder for sculpting.
Haines made the final payment for his $31,000 piece of marble last week. He also has lined up donated transport for the rock on a flag-decorated flatbed truck. He did all that after receiving a letter from an Army major general five years ago thanking him for his "most kind and generous donation."
Better that the government spend $170,000 merely to solicit a bid, then another $2.2 million on the actual marble, because who knows what kind of bargain marble Haines is donating?
Except…
…Haines’ marble isn’t just any marble. It was cut from the same Yule Quarry where the original gold-veined marble for the Tomb of the Unknowns was mined nearly 80 years ago. The marble on the outside of the Lincoln Memorial also came from that quarry. The tomb replacement piece was cut after a nearly five-year search for an unflawed piece that would look like the original.
The only problem with Haines’ marble really does seem to be the fact that he wants to donate it.
"It’s not doable. A citizen can’t just give us any piece of marble and say, ‘This is what we’ll use to replace the tomb,’ " said Thurman Higginbotham, deputy superintendent of Arlington.
[...]
Meanwhile, the free, room-sized block of marble gracing a hillside near Marble draws some curious tourists who snap pictures in front of it. Haines said if it can’t be used for the tomb, he has the option to sell it back to the quarry, where it would be cut up and sold for other projects.
"I understand how the government works," Haines said. "But there comes a point when you just say ‘to hell with it.’ "
Haines should use the marble to construct a monument to government waste.
Maybe they would accept it if he wrapped it up in red tape? They seem to like that.
This is just shameful and defies all logic. But then again, it’s the government we’re talking about here.
This is truly remarkable and not particularly typical. There are literally thousands of other agencies in the Federal Government, including many related to the DOD, that can have processed this type of in-kind donation a million times a year.
And these are not Carl Saganesque superlatives. The Federal government, whether we like it or not, runs museums, a Zoo, historic cemeteries, visitor centers, etc etc. who accept this sort of thing all the time. Daily in fact. Maybe Arlington doesn’t have a private, non-profit group associated with it (like Friends of the National Zoo) or are organized as a quasi-government trust instrumentality (like the Smithsonian) that is really poor planning.
Anyway, there has to be something else going on here. Maybe it is stupidity of monumental importance or lack of planning, but I’ll bet someone, somewhere has a friend in the marble business.
If this guy can’t unload that marble the Smithsonian has 20 Billion Dollars worth of unfunded capital repairs to be made, much of it marble. Or maybe make it into a model of the monument. I suspect all you have to do there is fill out some forms.
So… offer to sell it to them for a ‘discount’ price, something in the $1M to $1.3M range. Then pocket enough to pay the taxes on that income, and donate the rest to someone. Appropriate someones in this instance may be a veterans group, or an organization dedicated to reducing government waste.
Although, as I typed this, I may have just understood why they won’t accept it. Think about it from the perspective of the Fed. If he donates it, he will, at best, simply make no income, and at worst, actually get a tax deduction. (Maybe for $31K, maybe for the $2M they want to pay for it!) If they have to buy it, then some poor schmuck, business, or organization will have to pay taxes on the income! Yay!
And before you complain that the taxes on $2.2M will not offset the $2.2M they will actually have to pay, keep in mind that this is the Fed we are talking about. They don’t think that way. It would require applying logic to finances, which is probably disallowed by some obscure law on the books somewhere.
OF course they can’t accept it!!! How can there be any kickbacks, payoffs, favors owed if the damned thing is free?
On one hand, this story is great because it’s a regular American doing something benevolent and patriotic and on the other hand, it proves for the trillionth time the weakness of this country is the folks who get a government paycheck. Maybe he should start etching the names of all the fallen soldiers from Iraq into the marble and then deliver it to the steps of the Capitol.
I’m appalled that anyone would want to donate to the government. Couldn’t he just donate his children like so many other parents have done?
What do you expect? You spend too much time worrying about the politicians instead of getting to the real problem with our Government. The real problem is the bureaucrats. Sometime if you are bored take a look at what it takes to do business with our Government. Look at all of the BS laws and regulations that you have to show compliance with before your bid will even be accepted. To document this compliance costs quite a bit of money and as you well know costs are always passed on to the consumer. This is where you get things like $8000 toilet seats and $900 hammers.
If there is a name that sounds more like a petty government bureaucrat than Thurman Higginbotham than I have never seen it. I am still giggling…
We clearly need a little perspective here.
There’s a procedure for this kind of procurement. When you go outside those well established and time tested procedures, our civil servants get confused. They start to complain. It sows discontent and irritability among them. Stress increases followed by an increase in illness and absenteeism. Before long, work starts to pile up, creating even more stress. As the work is contracted out, expenses mount until the departmental budget is taxed to the breaking point. Wall Street notes the sudden increase in the deficit and soon the stability of the nation’s finances come into question. Hu Jintao calls the White House and demands that steps be taken immediately to relieve the situation and replace chaos with order or they will start dumping dollars on the market which will ultimately lead to the auctioning off of regions of the country as the only way left to pay off the nation’s debts.
Of course that’s just one scenario. Another possibility is that they could take the marble and save the taxpayers some money. But, that would require someone in government interested in saving taxpayers some money, which is far less likely.
Not to defend bureaucrats, but almost every bureaucratic rule regarding procurement at any company/agency/department got put in place because someone abused the system. It’s easy to imagine that this rule was instituted because someone tried to drive a competitor out of business by donating a similar product until the other guy went broke. The problem is trying to outline all human conduct by making new rules, instead of having judgement, but that’s what bureacrats do. Newspaper headlines don’t make allowances for subtleties of judgement.
Yes, someone ought to have the authority to say “This is ok”, but it’s easy to see that authority being abused also.
Sorry, but the government has a point here. Suppose they do accept it, and at some point in the future it becomes well known that this guy was responsible for it. What if he demands that his name be displayed somewhere on the tomb? It may be an unreasonable request, but it won’t stop people from demanding that the government show gratitude. At the very least he will receive alot of ‘free’ publicity for sponsoring something this well-known.
Would it be fair for him to receive that kind of publicity and/or free advertisement? Might it not eventually prove to be worth more to him than the cost he paid for the marble? I don’t know, but I hope you see my point.
There are a million other reasons why the gesture cannot be accepted. So, I think that as much as the gesture is appreciated, the guy would be better off making a donation to Veteran’s Assistance or some other benefit.
I’m with Zappa - I think somebody already has a seller lined up.
“Maybe he should start etching the names of all the fallen soldiers from Iraq into the marble and then deliver it to the steps of the Capitol.”
As far as that goes, he might as well just spray-paint the goddamned thing full of commie-bromide graffiti-bites and dump it in front of some big-ass bureaubot-hive around town. (Department of Education might work.) Call it “art” and go have a beer.
Fuckin’ fuck these fuckin’ fucks.
Another point is that there is still a great deal of controversy over whether the tomb monument in fact needs replacing at all. In the opinion of many, repair is the better option.
Also, after looking up what I believe to be the applicable regulation, I believe there is no reason (legal or bureaucratic anyway) to deny the donation. Here is the reg:
(from AR290-5)
1–10. Donations.
a. Policy. Under Department of the Army policy, proffered donations or gifts for beautifying Army national
cemeteries may be accepted from legitimate societies and organizations or from reputable individuals, subject to the
following provisions:
(1) The society, organization, or individual does not associate the name of the Department of the Army in any way
with soliciting for the donation or gift.
(2) Delivery is made to the cemetery or to another point designated by the Department of the Army without expense
to the Government.
(3) Installing, constructing, placing, or planting is in keeping with the planned development of the cemetery and the
donor agrees to the use of the gift at any designated place within the cemetery.
(4) The donor is not permitted to affix any commemorative tablet or plaque to the items donated or to place one in
the cemetery or elsewhere on Department of the Army property.
b. Processing. All proffers of donations to Army national cemeteries will be referred to HQDA (DAAG–PEM),
WASH DC 20314, with the recommendation of the cemetery superintendent as to the action to be taken.
c. Conditional gifts. The Secretary of the Army is authorized, at his discretion, to accept, receive, hold, administer,
and expend any gift, devise, or bequest of real or personal property on condition that the item be used for the benefit
of, or in connection with, the operation, maintenance, or administration of the two national cemeteries under the
jurisdiction of the Department of the Army. The Adjutant General will take appropriate action on conditional gifts as
prescribed in AR 1–100.
d. Unconditional gifts. All proffers or donations of gifts which are unconditional will be accompanied by a report
stating all material facts in connection with the source, nature, and purpose of the gift.
So unless his donation violates one of these rules, I believe they should be free to accept it.
Actually, it’s because they have to appear to be fair and not taking any sides. Under the current system, if the US were under invasion, and you offered them enough 30.06 rifles, magazines and ammo to outfit a batallion for a year, for free out of patriotism, they would accept it on the grounds that it was an unbid contract.
Number 1 in Battlestar Galactica said it best: “bureaucracy MUST be served.”
If they don’t want it he could sell it back to the quarry and send me the money. At least he would make one veteran happy. Oops, I don’t need it now. I just got an email saying I’ve won 1.4 mil in a lottery I didn’t even enter. Isn’t the internet wonderful?
#13. well said. If I could give you 50 thumbs up, I would. Fuck these fucking fucks.
Perhaps he could start a non-profit corporation to establish a “Tomb of the Unknown Taxpayer” and donate the slab of marble to it.
The actual marble is the smallest part of the total price.
80K for bidding.
One has to assume that involves actually verifying that the selected block is usable for the project, as well as allowing for a fair bidding process.
90K to purchase and transport the block.
This can only be done after the block is selected and verified. How do they know the block in question is usable for the project?
Then the lion’s share of the cost:
2.03 MILLION for carving the block into the actual monument.
So… just for fun… Let’s assume they accept the guy’s donated block without going through the procurement process. And…
Oops! It’s too short! Or, Oops! It’s not right for whatever reason. It’s a can of worms.
The ACTUAL donation is 31K, plus a promise of transportation donated from other sources. And that involves no guarantee that the block is even usable for the project.
I wouldn’t accept it, either. Noone with any sense would. I would tell the guy to put in a bid of 31K for the block. In addition, I wouldn’t accept the ‘donated transportation’ either. I would line up the best transport possible.
That makes as much sense as the city of Boston accepting a $5K windmill/turbine that produces a tiny amount of electricity (enough to power 19 lightbulbs) then getting a $8K fine for not bidding out the thing, etc.
http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regional/general/view/2008_09_10_Wind_turbine_plan_spins_out_of_control
If he really wants to get it to them, he should just drop an anonymous tip to the right ears that someone had smoked a joint while standing next to it; the next thing you know, the American Military Cemetary Commission’s SWAT team will show up and excercise their right to establish forfeiture - and there it’ll be! (As long as there’re no dogs hanging around the quarry).
Radley distorts the picture here. The donation is $31,000 for the marble, the $2million for sculpting would still be paid. Getting the marble donated creates a liability problem. If something goes wrong the $2million spent on sculpting could be lost with no legal recourse against the supplier. With the normal bidding process the government would have recourse against the vendor. Taking shortcuts around well defined procurement process is usually a penny-wise pound-foolish bargain. This is why any well run business has a well defined procurement process.
It’s funny that no one here wants to blame the legislative branch. They pass the laws that govern federal procurement. These are implemented through the Federal Acquisition Regulations (FAR). There can be serious punishment to those who violate the procurement laws especially if one is a warranted Contracting Officer. So please, let’s quit letting our legislators off the hook in these comments.
John Haines did the right thing and is now getting a verbal beatdown from the gov’t? And this is supposed to dissuade from not cheating on my taxes and not badmouthing these stupid motherfuckers?
“Fuckin’ fuck these fuckin’ fucks.”
Quoted for truth.
The city of Troy accepted a donation of a rather large wooden horse. It wasn’t “free”.
While I doubt that Mr. Haines intends anything bad by his donation, an general willingness to accept such donations would make the government vulnerable to those who would.
Mr. Haines should try to find someone who do the paperwork necessary to ’sell’ the stone on a contingency basis. The government will probably want to have the stone assayed according to protocol XYZQ-7, and have a report from that assay included in the bid. The costs of performing the necessary work should be included in the bid price.
While such paperwork may seem wasteful, a lot of it is necessary to ensure that the stone is of good quality and that the government has clear and uncontestable title to it, both formally and informally. It’s important that Mr. Haine not be able to claim in any way that he did the government a ‘favor’.
“Haines should use the marble to construct a monument to government waste.”
I would say he already has.
Should it not be insanely difficult to give things to the government? This would deter people from voluntarily subsidizing The Beast.