Flint Battles Crack Epidemic

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

The third most violent city in American had declared war on . . . saggy pants.  Below, a helpful graphic from the Detroit Free Press explains the new law.

 

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44 Responses to “Flint Battles Crack Epidemic”

  1. #1 |  Nick T | 

    Cue the ACLU in 5, 4, 3….

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  2. #2 |  Psion | 

    I really want to send them a photo of my fully exposed derriere. You know the one, with my posture bent over to maximize the effect.

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  3. #3 |  Nobody | 

    Cue the Plumber’s Union in 3, 2, 1…

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  4. #4 |  Mike Leatherwood | 

    93 DAYS for ass-crack? Are you kidding me??
    Talk about missing the forest for the trees. Expect full scale SWAT raids at hip hop concerts….

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  5. #5 |  Marty | 

    at least the punishment is reasonable…

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  6. #6 |  Edmund Dantes | 

    How is this legal? What if I wear shorts underneath my pants but still have my pants below my buttocks? Does it only have to be underwear? Also what is underwear? This is such a mess, and a complete waste of government time and money.

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  7. #7 |  James D | 

    What’s funny is that the same people enforcing this will think it is wrong for a private business to put up dress code signs. If I own a business and I say “No baggy pants”, that should be legal … but this is ridiculous. My wife and I get into this same argument over smoking … I hate it, she hates it, most of our friends hate it (hell, my grandmother died from smoking-induced lung issues). But after my state (AZ) instituted a state-wide ban, I argued that “Shouldn’t a private business be allowed to do what they want on their premises?” and my wife still couldn’t understand that logic.

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  8. #8 |  Skip Oliva | 

    James D —

    All people have the same preferences, which happen to coincide with your own. That’s why people don’t understand the “logic” you speak of.

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  9. #9 |  Mike | 

    Seems like defining the difference between ugly plaid golf shorts and boxers could be tricky on those disorderly conduct charges.

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  10. #10 |  Underpants Gnome | 

    Shouldn’t the cops be ENCOURAGING this silly fashion, since the idiots with their pants falling down are unlikely to outrun a cop in any kind of decent shape? ;)

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  11. #11 |  akromper | 

    What about fat girls in hip huggers? It makes an artificial crack and the flab…(shudders) Is that next?

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  12. #12 |  Lee | 

    As for the first 2, they are pretty vague as others have pointed out.

    As for the 3rd (ass crack showing) that would pretty much fall under all the indecent exposure laws. What some communities find indecent, others barely blink an eye at. Are they going to go after all the plumbers in Flint?

    Is the idea for this part of the broken window pane theory?

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  13. #13 |  Dave Krueger | 

    I don’t give a shit how (or whether) people dress. Culture shouldn’t be legislated. I believe in separation of culture and state. I propose we pass an Amendment to that effect. All in favor say aye.

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  14. #14 |  ALowe | 

    So if having one’s underwear exposed is neither disorderly conduct nor indecent exposure, what is the warning for, and where is the probable cause for a search?

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  15. #15 |  Hunter | 

    That’s pretty funny.. I can just picture that graphic up on a big screen during a trial…

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  16. #16 |  Danno49 | 

    I often wonder how we will be perceived as a culture when, say, 5000 years in the future, archaeologists unearth the ruins of our civilization. If they find graphics like this, it will more than likely be thought that we were all functionally retarded.

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  17. #17 |  nathan | 

    I nearly choked on my lunch when I read the first line: “Flint residents now have to watch their butts because Police Chief David Dicks is on the lookout.”

    I’ll have to keep out of Flint for a while if Dicks is on the lookout or my butt. :-)

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  18. #18 |  Dave | 

    I like it. More, please.

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  19. #19 |  nathan | 

    As I read past the first line, I saw one that worries me:
    “He issued verbal warnings to several people and said the style also gives police probable cause to search those wearing no-rise jeans.”

    and then a few lines later:
    “Dicks makes the assertion that wearing pants below the waist can give police probable cause to search saggers for other crimes, such as weapon and drug possession. He said because sagging is a crime, it presents probable cause for police to search saggers.”

    And now we know the real reason for it. They wanted more ways to come up with ‘probable’ cause. Because if someone is walking down the street with saggy pants, he’s probably packing an Uzi or something, too. Obviously. Great way to harass and get away with it, if that’s your goal.

    Oh, and there is this:
    “Dicks also scoffed at any suggestions that any enforcement unfairly targets black men and teens.

    “‘This is not a black issue. This is an issue that’s all walks of life,’ said Dicks, who is black. ‘Many people from different ethnic backgrounds and races are doing this fad.’”

    In other words, non-white collar people of all races will be shaken down for anything illegal we can find, so it’s obviously fair enforcement!

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  20. #20 |  Dave Krueger | 

    Clearly, police departments across the country are waging unrestricted warfare in a contest to prove they are meaner (and dumber) than all the others. Flint is out in front by a nose.

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  21. #21 |  Cappy | 

    Can one walk the streets of Flint wearing only a bikini bottom?

    Or howzabout a bikini bottom with pants with the bikini exposed?

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  22. #22 |  roy | 

    Nathan, it’s worse than that. Police don’t get to just shake people down for “anything illegal” they can find. They can shake people down and if they find *nothing*, still be able arrest them for a crime carrying a 92-day sentence.

    It will be interesting to see, after a few months, what percentage of such “probable cause” searches actually uncover evidence of a real crime. Then ask Dicks how 5% or so is “probable”.

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  23. #23 |  Edmund Dantes | 

    Whoa!! Didn’t even notice the probable cause angle. God the Constitution really is becoming worth less than the paper it’s printed on.

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  24. #24 |  Dave Krueger | 

    The Bill of Rights has become depressing because it keeps reminding us of how things are supposed to be.

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  25. #25 |  B | 

    Fighting…urge…to fax…my ass…to Flynt PD…

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  26. #26 |  claude | 

    Lets create some legal hell for them… wear underwear on the outside of our pants but completely pulled up. That’ll tie them up in court for decades.

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  27. #27 |  Mike Leatherwood | 

    I see opportunity:
    A line of boxers with a line of demarcation, more precisely, a line of de-butt-cation, emblazonned on them. Keep pants above the line, you can only get a warning. Below the line, jailtime.
    Can call em “Dicks’ Shorts”
    Get some, er, exposure on MTV or whatever the teens watch these days. Maybe a viral campaign on YouTube. $$$sweet.

    Feel free to run with the idea.

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  28. #28 |  Marty | 

    Let the assfaxing begin!

    Flint Township Police Department - Michigan
    Safe City is an Intelligence Sharing Initiative. Phone Numbers: Emergency: Dial 911 Office:810-600-3250 Fax:810-600-3259 © 2008, Flint Township Police Department.

    http://www.flinttownshippolice.org · Cached page

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  29. #29 |  dsmallwood | 

    i’m joining late, so i don’t know how many people will read this … but here it goes …

    “Punisable by … up to a year in jail …”
    does anyone recall where this look came from? the “saggy pants, timberlands with no-laces” look CAME FROM JAIL. its styled by the look of the LA County Jail inmates. when you go to jail, they take your belt and shoelaces. so your pants look saggy and the tongues of your shoes hang out … This look gives you street cred when you wear it when you’re on the outside.

    are we sure that putting these people in jail is the right place?
    can’t we sent them to NYC for fashion week?

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  30. #30 |  Observant Bystander | 

    More on Police Chief David Dicks, the source of the saggy pants policy, from the Flint Journal: four police officers violated a department policy by speaking to the media about Dicks’ recent appointment as interim police chief. Two officers were negative. Two were positive. Only two officers were suspended for violating the policy. Guess which two.

    http://www.mlive.com/flintjournal/index.ssf/2008/06/aclu_might_get_involved_in_bat.html

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  31. #31 |  Dreadnaught | 

    Why deal with real crime, and other pressing issues, when you can deal with the fit of people’s pants. Good job D-town. Should be ont of the best cities in the nation, in the next few weeks.

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  32. #32 |  Steve Finlay | 

    Just to point out a minor stupidity on top of all the major stupidities: The Flint police department’s poster doesn’t appear to say what they want it to. The graphic in the centre seems to belong with the words on the right, and vice versa.

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  33. #33 |  Steve Finlay | 

    Oh, now I get it. “Exposed” just means the top of the buttocks. But if there is underwear present, how is that “exposed”?

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  34. #34 |  Edintally | 

    The Chief will be the first one arrested since he clearly wears his ass on his head.

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  35. #35 |  BobG | 

    I guess tacky and bad taste is a bigger threat than crime.

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  36. #36 |  Ali | 

    Kudos to the Freep graphics department for the race-neutral “hairless blue people.” ROFL. If they had some balls they’d depict a black guy, since that’s who the law targets.

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  37. #37 |  colson | 

    You know the DFP has to be laughing their asses off on this story and graphic. It almost sounds like an Onion article.

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  38. #38 |  Frank | 

    “Fighting…urge…to fax…my ass…to Flynt PD…”

    There’s probably a federal law against that, even though it’s a political statement covered by the First Amendment.

    Yes, there is little difference these days between the Onion and the MSM…

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  39. #39 |  Eric Ogunbase | 

    I thought this WAS an Onion article!

    Wow. I guess fighting sagging is going to stop the murder, rape, robbery, theft, illiteracy, etc.

    Shouldn’t they have targeted sagging say in 1993? Does anyone actually sag anymore? Is it still cool?

    This is like Cops in the late ’80s going after people wearing bellbottoms and platforms.

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  40. #40 |  Frank | 

    Had an idea just after I posted #38.

    Let’s all email this URL to all the Flynt, MI government officials involved in this stupid idea that we can find.

    http://www.joecartoon.com/cartoons/405-santa_gift

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  41. #41 |  John C. Jackson | 

    Obviously they are targeting Michael moore.

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  42. #42 |  Zeb | 

    They need some goatse (don’t search for it if you don’t know what it is; you’ve been warned). Show these people what indecent really means. How the fuck is the top of an asscrack indecent exposure? (Of course, I think that people should be allowed to go around in public in whatever state of dress or undress they want,)

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  43. #43 |  Danno49 | 

    Thanks for that nightmare fuel mention, Zeb. And I had thought it possible to expunge that from my memory. I can’t tell you when the last time was that image invaded my thoughts. All those years of forgetting, down the toilet. :O

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  44. #44 |  Marty | 

    I’m the idiot that’d push red buttons with ‘do not push’ signs on them… damn, I was warned. Thanks, Zeb.

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