Let the Gaymes Begin

Monday, June 30th, 2008

Ed Brayton of the terrific blog Dispatches from the Culture Wars has the find of the day, an hilarious goof from OneNewsNow, the news-ish publication of the American Family Association (AFA).  AFA apparently has implemented a policy of substituting "homosexual" whenever the word "gay" appears in wire stories that appear on its website.

That resulted in a fantastic write-up of this weekend’s Olympic track and field trials, which were dominated by sprinter Tyson Gay.  AFA has since corrected the article, but before they did, it read like juicy, possibly libelous gay sports porn.  A few excerpts, courtesy of Brayton:

Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has.

His time of 9.68 seconds at the U.S. Olympic trials Sunday doesn’t count as a world record, because it was run with the help of a too-strong tailwind. Here’s what does matter: Homosexual qualified for his first Summer Games team and served notice he’s certainly someone to watch in Beijing.

"It means a lot to me," the 25-year-old Homosexual said. "I’m glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me."


Wearing a royal blue uniform with red and white diagonal stripes across the front, along with matching shoes, all in a tribute to 1936 Olympic star Jesse Owens, Homosexual dominated the competition. He started well and pulled out to a comfortable lead by the 40-meter mark.

This time, he kept pumping those legs all the way through the finish line, extending his lead. In Saturday’s opening heat, Homosexual pulled way up, way too soon, and nearly was caught by the field, before accelerating again and lunging in for fourth place.


After the race, Homosexual and Dix looked at each other and slapped palms, then hugged.

MORE: Here’s the Google cache of the original article. And apparently, they’ve made the mistake before.

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15 Responses to “Let the Gaymes Begin”

  1. #1 |  Wayne | 

    Ah, the political correctness crowd — what would we do without you? Probably have to go back to watching Comedy Central. Maybe next you can change the word “dick” everywhere to “penis.” You know, for a cleaner, less offensive Internet, for the children. [Hint: all the people named “Richard” are not going to be happy with you.]

  2. #2 |  got me copy edit | 

    Reminds me a little of the newspaper in Alaska that ran a headline announcing Nelson Mandela’s election as the “first African-American president of South Africa.”

  3. #3 |  strech | 

    That’s a cache of an earlier version of the article than the one Brayton cited; here is a later one (though if the cache gets updated it’ll clear out).

    A quote from when they’ve made the mistake before:

    Memphis Grizzlies backers hit the hay hoping that Kevin Love would open things up for Rudy Homosexual in the frontcourt.

    (from here).

  4. #4 |  Windypundit | 

    In the old days, when newspapers and such had computers but everything was still printed on paper, these sorts of search-and-replace goofs were a lot more embarassing because it was all permanently recorded in African American and white.

  5. #5 |  pris | 

    Love it! Love it!

    Best laugh of the day.

  6. #6 |  Michael Wolf | 

    I wonder what they’re trying to accomplish by replacing gay with homosexual. Replacing it with, say, “fag”, seems to make more sense—aside from the sheer reprehensibleness of it, of course.

    Could they be, as a friend suggested, trying to take the word gay back?

  7. #7 |  Warren | 

    Pardon me, I was just waxing my javelin…if you know what I mean. (from a Whose Line ep)

    Flintstones. Meet the Flintstones.
    They’re the modern stone age family.
    From the town of Bedrock,
    They’re a page right out of history.

    Let’s ride with the family down the street.
    Through the courtesy of Fred’s two feet.

    When you’re with the Flintstones
    you’ll have a yabba dabba doo time.
    A dabba doo time.
    You’ll have a homosexual old time.

  8. #8 |  Roy | 

    “Through the courtesy of Fred’s two feet.”

    For over 40 years, I’ve wondered what that line was.

    Now I know.

  9. #9 |  Andrew Williams | 


    And how about Nirvana:

    What else can I say?
    Everyone is homosexual.

    Doesn’t scan, does it?

  10. #10 |  The Art of the Possible » Blog Archive » (Update)Tyson Homosexual is the Guy to Watch in the Olympics | 

    […] More giggles, via People for the American Way via Balko’s Agitator blog: …it looks like [AFA] haven’t gone back through their archives and corrected other […]

  11. #11 |  The Agitator » Blog Archive » More Comedy from the American Family Association | 

    […] from AFA’s bizarre effort to reclaim the word “gay” from the dirty sodomites. Here’s a June 27 article on […]

  12. #12 |  The Bad Idea Blog | 

    Conservative Christian “News” Site Accidentally Publishes Gay Sports Porn…

    Hot on the heels of a multiple adulterer trying to “defend marriage,” we already have another contender for bombastically silly screwup of the year. Ed Brayton of Dispatches couldn’t believe his eyes this morning when he saw what som…

  13. #13 |  Totalrecoil | 

    Is he related to that singer, Marvin Homosexual? (Maybe the “e” doesn’t convert).

  14. #14 |  ianvisits | 

    I wonder if AP approve of their editing news wire stories in this way?

    Certainly most newswire services do not permit editing of the items.

  15. #15 |  Christian cutting-and-pasting « Venomous Mammals | 

    […] up said article, removing their “enhancements“.  To have a sense of what it was, go here.  Or just click […]