Forrest Wept

Monday, May 12th, 2008

Last week, the city of Cleveland was pursuing criminal charges against a bar manager for operating pool tables without a permit. This week, Washington Post columnist Mark Fisher reports on the heroic Frank Winstead, whose moral crusade has purged Washington D.C. of the threat of an un-permitted ping pong table.

Hat tip: Jacob Grier.

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16 Responses to “Forrest Wept”

  1. #1 |  Nathan | 

    Any way I look at it, this is complete nonsense. What is it that drives people to want to rule the lives of others so completely?

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  2. #2 |  CitizenNothing | 

    Any way I look at it, this is complete nonsense. What is it that drives people to want to rule the lives of others so completely?

    Reread 1984

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  3. #3 |  Sithmonkey | 

    To shamelessly rip off Adrian Cronauer:

    That man in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.

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  4. #4 |  john | 

    Read the Fountainhead/ Atlas Shrugged

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  5. #5 |  Tybalt | 

    Read the Fountainhead/ Atlas Shrugged

    I did, but I didn’t find any blowjobs, despite what you might think from the title “Fountainhead”.

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  6. #6 |  ZappaCrappa | 

    Another case of over-the top “do-goodery.” I can’t even imagine having that asshat for a neighbor. People who perceive themselves to be the self-appointed “do-goodery” champions of the rest of us fills me with an over-whelming desire to put a foot up their collective asses.

    As an aside….how many actual friends do you think this guy has? My guess…0…unless you count his computer and his goldfish.

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  7. #7 |  Chris in AL | 

    I for one am glad. An un-permitted ping pong table raped my sister.

    I don’t like to talk about it.

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  8. #8 |  Sithmonkey | 

    Ping-Pong tables are the gateway furniture to air hockey tables…

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  9. #9 |  ZappaCrappa | 

    I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who never moved much past ping-pong…unless you count “beer” pong. I do have a friend who started with a ping pong table and ended up with an air hockey table AND a Fooseball table. We tried an intervention but it was too late. Last I heard, he was looking to put in a pool table. Another young life thrown away…..

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  10. #10 |  hexag1 | 

    in the book, Forrest Gump goes to the moon, lands in the jungle, and becomes a world champion chess player.

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  11. #11 |  Frank | 

    In days gone by, people like this asstard received an invitation to leave town, liberally coated in tar and feathers.

    It is time for this tradition to return.

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  12. #12 |  Frank | 

    #3

    He doesn’t need a blowjob, he needs a visit from the Ping Pong Mafia. A couple of titanium drill bits in his kneecaps would alter his attitude quite nicely.

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  13. #13 |  Andrew Williams | 

    “The mark of a hardcore shit is that he has to be RIGHT. He is always minding other people’s business because he has no business of his own to mind.”–William S. Burroughs

    This story has Stephen Colbert all over it. I hope he sees it and makes this hairpin his “Alpha Dog of the Week.”

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  14. #14 |  the friendly grizzly | 

    What’s to bet this clown holds office in his condo association or the local home owner’s group?

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  15. #15 |  absenceofsomething | 

    Say what you like about communist china, if theres one thing they do well, it’s street ping pong. and street snooker. and street gambling.

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  16. #16 |  Nick T | 

    This is my favorite part:

    “If James can have a Ping-Pong table out front, then why shouldn’t Gold’s Gym have exercise equipment out on the sidewalk and call it an advertisement?”

    Worst. Rhetorical. Question. Ever.

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