Comments on: “Everybody Kills Hitler”

By: Psychopolitik » From Elsewhere: 2nd level link edition

Psychopolitik » From Elsewhere: 2nd level link edition — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:45:34 +0000

[...] of time travel…This story Radley Balko found is hilarious. Dork Humor at its [...]

By: Mike Schneider

Mike Schneider — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 03:54:43 +0000

To hell with the time-travel, I just want a car that runs on banana-peels and stale beer.

By: nom de guerre

nom de guerre — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 22:40:11 +0000

better yet, just crank up the delorean to 1860-something, and whack (the future) kaiser bill. no kaiser bill, crazed by crushing feelings of inadequacy (”mein withered arm ist *vorthless* und *veak*!!”) and desperately trying to impress aunt vicky, then there’s no WW1.

and no soviet russia, with all her dead tens of millions.

no WW2. no holocaust.

probably no commie china.

no cold war.

literally hundreds of millions saved, all at the cost of 1 life.

OTOH, you could just go back to rat-pack era vegas, and have some *real* fun.

By: HaciendaMike

HaciendaMike — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:01:01 +0000

Thanks, Kit. I knew something didn’t look right when I unpacked the unit. Cruddy documentation. That’s the last time I buy on e of those Taiwanese knock-off time distortion generators.

By: HaciendaMike

HaciendaMike — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:53:26 +0000

Tom,

That would certainly explain why I keep burning the damned things out. The cash flow would certainly help, too, given that the feinbergers cost $10 mil apiece.

My problem is that when I overclock the quantum capacitor for the logrithmic jump from 8.8 to 88 GHz it burns out during the ramp-up. The only way I’ve managed to keep it stable is by massive water cooling and evaporation. Sorry about that 30′ drop in the water level of Lake Mead, btw.

Anyways, the unit will produce 8.8 GHz reliably and shouldn’t take more that a third of the Colorado River snow melt, but what with the regulatory hassles and Darth Cheney demanding 40% protection money, it hardy seems worth it.

By: Kit Smith

Kit Smith — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:36:30 +0000

Actually, the flux capacitor doesn’t actually generate any electricity, it consumes it. That was why they needed the Uranium in the first movie and then came back with the Mr. Fusion.

Mr. Fusion FTW!

By: Thomas Blair

Thomas Blair — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:38:45 +0000

HaciendaMike,

As per the instruction of the great Dr. Emmett Brown, you only need 1.21 GW of power to operate your time machine. Please direct the other 85.1 GW to the grid.

You’ll be paid handsomely - 85 GW is 8% of the nation’s generating capacity, and 8% of what this country spends on electricity is a metric shitton of money. At a back-of-the-envelope value of $12/kW, it’s worth a solid $12b/yr. Get them to pay you in gold bullion, though.

By: Billy Beck

Billy Beck — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:28:29 +0000

See Alfred Bester: “The Men Who Murdered Mohammed”.

Don’t try it. Important safety tip.

By: Danno49

Danno49 — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:57:57 +0000

Ah, Joe . . . if you could only kill the writers of the insipid Terminator TV show. Now THAT would be something.

By: Joe

Joe — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:52:20 +0000

As in the terminator movies

By: Joe

Joe — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:51:43 +0000

I just kill John Connor

By: HaciendaMike

HaciendaMike — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:10:18 +0000

Hilarious. Makes me want to fire up my prototype time machine and go talk some sense into those guys. They didn’t need to assassinate Hitler. All we need to do disrupt the Anglo-French diplomatic treaty talks of 1904. Then, France will fall to a combined English-German alliance, resulting in no German depression, no beer hall putsch, and little Adolf would be left howling at the moon like yer typical freeper. Best of all, my French wife would likely lose her condescending attitude, after having been raised in a defeated France.

Hmmm, I’d be happy to do it myself, but my flux capacitor is only generating 86.3 gigawatts, and I haven’t been able to locate the power leak. Anybody got a spare transflux feinberger?

By: anonymous

anonymous — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:49:28 +0000

See James P. Hogan’s “The Pacifist” (1988)

http://jamesphogan.com/books/info.php?cmd=sample&titleID=16

By: Erik Ellison

Erik Ellison — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:57:45 +0000

LOL reminds me of this comic that hit digg last month

http://digg.com/comedy/The_Home_of_Adolf_Hitler_1933_Doubt_Creeps_In_Comic

By: John

John — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:24:47 +0000

Ah, that’s too funny. Reminiscent of Hitler clones:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ymfs21xeDc

By: Mike Leatherwood

Mike Leatherwood — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:07:40 +0000

What a riot. Too funny!