I Can Probably Tell You What the May 2008 Issue of Maxim Will Be Like, Too

Sunday, February 24th, 2008

Maxim belches out a mediocre review of the new album from your humble Agitator’s favorite rock ‘n’ roll band, The Black Crowes:

The Black Crowes already sounded like grizzled classic rockers on their 1990 debut. While it certainly was a neat trick for a bunch of wasted twenty-somethings to pull off, it hasn’t left Chris Robinson and the gang much room for growth. Now that they’re legitimately grizzled, they sound pretty much like they always have: boozy, competent, and in slavish debt to the Stones, the Allmans, and the Faces.

Problem is, the band says that when the review first appeared, they hadn’t yet sent out preview CDs. Meaning the reviewer hadn’t actually heard the album. The band says Maxim told them the review was “an educated guess.”

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14 Responses to “I Can Probably Tell You What the May 2008 Issue of Maxim Will Be Like, Too”

  1. #1 |  fishbane | 

    You win headline of the day. That’s funny.

  2. #2 |  Bryan | 

    In college a friend and I reviewed the then-new Steven Segal movie for the alternative newspaper before we had seen it. It was the one where he was the EPA agent in Appalachia. We discussed how much country music and ass-kicking there was in the movie before admitting that we hadn’t actually gone to see it yet. After the article was published we went to see the movie and wrote a follow-up piece for the next issue discussing exactly how accurate we were. We were almost dead-on. There was a lot of country music and ass-kicking.

  3. #3 |  Balloon Maker | 

    Mr Balko, have you heard and do you dig Vampire Weekend?

    Also, wonderful job you’re doing with Ryan Frederick. I started reading you regularly because of your coverage of Cory Maye. Same shit different day, as they say.

  4. #4 |  chsw | 

    Does the music reviewer also write for the NY Times?

  5. #5 |  Greg N. | 

    However, it’s overwhelmingly likely that the reviewer got it right. I like TBC as much as the next guy, but … who are we kidding?

  6. #6 |  RWF | 

    “Now that they’re legitimately grizzled, they sound pretty much like they always have: boozy, competent, and in slavish debt to the Stones, the Allmans, and the Faces.”

    And the problem with this is what exactly???

    I hate this band growth concept. I like them the way they are and if this album is as good as the first album then I’m buying.

  7. #7 |  pris | 

    Maxim- are all of ya reading Maxim for the CD reviews?

  8. #8 |  Russ 2000 | 

    Props to Maxim on this. Probably the most soulless band ever. The Obama of rock and roll.

  9. #9 |  Tainted Bill | 

    I guess that explain’s Pete Hammond’s movie reviews.

  10. #10 |  Howlin' Hobbit | 

    Balloon Maker — interesting that you mention Vampire Weekend. I’d never heard of them until a few minutes ago.

    Due to how I read my blog list, I came here from The Assimilated Negro. He has a two-part interview with the guy who does Stuff White People Like. When asked what was the whitest band, Vampire Weekend was one of two mentioned.

  11. #11 |  Leon Wolfeson | 

    I’ve seen computer game reviews go up before review copies were sent out as well. Reviewing presses releases *rolls his eyes*

  12. #12 |  XI | 

    While I disagree with their methods, I can’t argue with their analysis. One needn’t be Nostradamus to predict that the album would be boring and derivative. That pretty much describes the first seven albums. I don’t have to be present at MacWorld to know that Steve Jobs’ keynote speech was smug and arrogant.

    Hey Lemon-lime, she can of cola, I’m sure I, I hang around, look around.

  13. #13 |  Maxim + Educated Guess = Oxymoron? | 

    […] Wow, it’s a good thing I only scan Maxim for the boobies and not for the fabricated music reviews. […]

  14. #14 |  markm | 

    And they didn’t need to wait for the vote counts to know that Dewey won the election…

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