TheAgitator.com
Post-Reductio America
Friday, February 1st, 2008A Mississippi lawmaker (and three co-sponsors) have introcued a bill that would….well, let’s just quote straight from the bill:
Any food establishment to which this section applies shall not be allowed to serve food to any person who is obese, based on criteria prescribed by the State Department of Health after consultation with the Mississippi Council on Obesity Prevention and Management established under Section 41-101-1 or its successor. The State Department of Health shall prepare written materials that describe and explain the criteria for determining whether a person is obese, and shall provide those materials to all food establishments to which this section applies. A food establishment shall be entitled to rely on the criteria for obesity in those written materials when determining whether or not it is allowed to serve food to any person.
Sandy Szwarc called the bill’s sponsor, who confirmed that he isn’t kidding. We’ve finally arrived. Now just wait until the first bill like this actually passes.
I officially nominate Mississippi as “Worst State In The Union”. Also, does this mean that the long-awaited uprising is now at hand?
“Any society is only three square meals away from a revolution.” (attributed to Leon Trotsky)
Maybe their REAL ID’s can flag them as not-authorized-to-eat?
Synergies!
We’re gonna need a Department of
ProleHomeland Maintenance to administer all these wondrous advances!I’m so glad I was born into a
freemodern country!*Previous comment assumes other states will also want to maintain
their prolesthe health of the people and more efficient Federal benevolance will follow.Your a criminal, I’m a criminal wouldn’t you like to be a criminal too.
Oh, wait you already are.
How dare you criticize our benevolent government? They only want to protect us from ourselves.
How. Dare. You.
I feel a need to comment, but I am dumbfounded (almost).
Reading the actual bill, it looks like it applies to just about any restaurant. So fat people are not allowed to eat out apparently.
The part I really want to see is how the establishments are supposed to determine who is obese. Will they need to have everyone hop on a scale as they enter so they can calculate a quick BMI?
What about super-markets or guests over for holiday meals?
Lets make granny a criminal too!
You clowns see an overbearing government, I see a business opportunity: buying and reselling cheeseburgers and shakes to fat-asses.
Once the logistics of this particular solution are figured out, what other problems can we solve with our new tools! People predisposed to Heart Disease can be saved, alcoholics, dissenters! Think of the possibilities! We closing in on a
FinalSolution!Second thought, this law would have PREVENTED Jared from getting thin on his now famous Subway diet!
I can see it now. There will be underground fast food places: Grease-easies. You’ll have to know the pass phrase to get in (Example: Doorman: “The raven calls at midnight” Entrant: “Give me a damn cheeseburger before I kill someone” Doorman: “Come right in, sir”
Because these places will be unregulated, we will be able to get all types of food with trans-fats added to them (carrots, for example). A Cheeseburger and fries will cost $30, and federal agents of the FTF bureau (Fat, Trans-Fats, and Fried Foods) will raid these places regularly and hit the oil vats with axes spilling the oil out on the floor (while grabbing a little bit for themselves).
The good thing is, at least people will have somewhere to go to smoke….
Nanny statism at its finest
For those of you who read my rants about the nanny state and think that I’m just some sort of loony tunes, black helicopter paranoid I’d like to point out a recent bill I heard about from The Agitator.
Introduced in the Mississippi House of Re…
Kev: I’m in favor of federal agents attacking vats of hot fry oil with axes. I think they should be required to wear flip-flops on these raids.
Wouldn’t complying with this law require violating various federal anti-discrimination laws?
There’s several lawyers who frequent this site, so would of you please explain how this is NOT a lawsuit waiting to happen?
I’ve a friend who became morbidly obese after dual knee surgery. (Yes, she knows how unhealthy it is. But you try being bedridden for five months and see how much weight YOU gain.) In her situation, her excessive weight, coupled with the original problem, obviously qualifies as a disability. I can only assume that refusing to serve her would violate the Americans with Disabilities Act.
Or does the government think every person in the country should have access to other peoples’ private medical records?
By the way… What IDIOT lawyer advised Mayhall, Shows and Read that this would pass constitutinal muster?
*sigh*
Radley, PLEASE set up a preview pane for comments.
Forget being smarter than a fifth grader, I just wish I could spell as well as one.
Best part: The author of the bill is a Republican. I guess they’ve decided to stop running against the nanny state.
When are we gonna have a law like that based on stupidity? Sorry Sandy…you’re TOO DAMN STUPID to be a human…step in front of the target and hold still for a moment please…
My turn to, *ahem*, weigh-in on the subject…
Instead of the teenager hanging out in front of the 7-11 trying to get people to buy him smokes or beer, we’ll have the heavy teenager hanging out in front of Hardees asking the cute petite girls if they’d buy him some curly fries.
Heroin-chique girls can make an extra buck or two not by whoring themselves out sexually, but rather delivering pizzas illegally.
What the fuck? *Pardon my American*
I tried to e-mail him via the address on his biography page but it bounced immediately.
His home phone and cell are listed there, I may try those tonight.
This bill is as American as
apple pielow calorie apple alternative.There’s several lawyers who frequent this site, so would of you please explain how this is NOT a lawsuit waiting to happen?
That’s not a bug, it’s a feature. These days, legislation is merely a jobs program for attorneys.
Maybe someone should eat Rep. Mayhall.
As everyone knows, most black people are obese. And Mississippi has lots of black people. So this is a way to reintroduce segregation. Very clever, IMHO.
/sarcasm
Now here is a person (and I use the word advisedly) who needs to have a noose appear on his front lawn. Jim Crow for the 21st Century, and that’s exactly how I’m going to title this.
Someone needs to take this clown out behind the woodshed for the ass-whipping he never got from his Daddy as a kid. And I’m not speaking figuratively. This country desperately needs a “New Texas” amendment to the constitution to deal with asshats like this. (Google H. Beam Piper)
“Apparently on New Texas, killing a politician wasn’t regarded as _malum in se_, and was _malum prohibitorum_ only to the extent that what the politician got was in excess of what he deserved.”
Last night I had a bad dream that the government was creating a clone army of Jillian Michaels (Biggest Loser) to scream at us until we excercised. Thank God it was only a dream. Wasn’t it?
If this law is actually passed, it probably won’t last much past the first time some fat cop beats-up a donut shop or buffet employee for denying him service.
At which point, I hope the citizens of the great state of Mississippi will gather en masse at the state house in Jackson and use their pitchforks to goad the sponsors of this lunacy into a ginormous deep-fryer full of lard (after first jamming very splintery saplings into their keisters and dipping them in corn batter).
Alas, this sort of foolishness is the logical next step after the success of draconian smoking bans, city-wide prohibitions of trans-fats and mandatory seat belt/helmet laws.
It’s for your own good, after all; nanny knows best.
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