For years I’ve been touting the idea that I swear was going to make me a millionaire: a national chain of nap stores. I’ve envisioned my nap shop franchises strategically placed in shopping malls, tourist areas, and next to all-you-can-eat buffets and Cheesecake Factories. A customer walks in, pays $20 or so, then rent a room for 60-90 minutes of interruption-free snoozing. Deluxe stores might even have themed rooms. Think the "fireplace" nap. Or the "rainy day nap," with piped in audio of say, rain drops bounding off the tin roof of a carport. There’s the "beach nap," the "hammock nap," the "couch with a baseball game on in the background" nap—the possibilities are endless.
Alas, it looks like someone got wind of my idea. There’s now a nap store in New York’s Empire State Building. I don’t know about the "pods." I guess it make sense in an area where real estate values are high. But separate rooms would be better. They also need to have a few lazy old dogs on hand that’ll lay down at your feet.
Hat tip to the Agitatrix.
Incidentally, I’m an expert napper. It’s a skill I picked up in college. I can fall asleep just about anywhere, whenever I need to. And I can wake up exactly when I need to. So if I’m tired, but only have 30 minutes to kill, I can nod off, and snap back awake in a half hour. No alarm clock necessary.
Guess I’m down to my last brilliant business idea. It’s a matchmaking service of sorts. It matches handsome gay men who have ball room dancing skills with straight couples. Here’s how it works: You’re a guy. You have no rhythm. You’re dreading an upcoming wedding, black-tie event, or other social to-do, because you know that there will be dancing, you know that your significant other loves to dance, and you know you’re going to look like a fool. So you call the service, which sends a dashing gay man to either accompany you and your wife/girlfriend to the event, or to meet you there. He then whisks your wife/girlfriend around the dance floor for the fast songs. He gets paid. She gets to dance with a partner who has skills. You get out of dancing, and needn’t worry about the handsome guy dancing with your wife making a move on her. Everybody wins!