Social Security vs. Mayonnaise

Monday, August 14th, 2006

One turns 71 this week, the other turns 250.

A few observations:

  • The jar of mayo in my fridge will probably outlast Social Security.
  • After nearly seven decades, George W. Bush attempted what critics said was impossible– to drastically reform Social Security by giving Americans ownership over the money collected from them. He failed. After nearly twenty-five decades, Wylie Dufresne, chef at New York City’s WD-50 restaurant, also attempted what critics said was impossible — deep fried mayonnaise. He succeeded.
  • Consumers may choose from dozens of varieties of mayonnaise, including chipotle, romoulade, almond, hazelnut, garlick, red pepper, and anchovy. Social Security offers only one choice: low-yield, below-market “returns” on a coerced “investment.” They’re also not permitted to pass their “contributions” on to their children should they die before receiving benefits.
  • Social Security is a 15 trillion dollar federal liability that will likely either go bust, or require massive tax increases to sustain. Mayonnaise tastes great on a sandwich.

    Mayonaise wins. And I’m hungry.

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