I didn’t watch the State of the Union. Bush wasn’t likely to speak on any of my issues, and the pomposity of the whole affair only irritates me.

So I’m wondering, could this really be true? Did Bush really tie the Abramoff scandals to gay marriage?

If he did, that would be awesome, in a completely what-the-fuck kind of way. Among the atrocities we can expect to ensue from letting people of the same sex marry, then, are apparently the wholesale destruction of heterosexual marriage; public acceptance of beastiality; pederatry; incest; polygamy and polyamory; and, now, corruption in the Republican party!

This is fun! I’d like to blame gay marriage for my failure to get to the gym last week. Also, for my messy desk, my absent-mindedness, and tonight’s Pacers loss to the Wizards. My dog blames gay marriage for the hole in the carpet. Peyton Manning blames it for his performances in the playoffs. Bob Dylan, ironicaly enough, would like to blame it for Saved.

Perhaps President Bush could find a way to blame gay marriage for the massive expansion of the federal government under his watch, too.

I guess Stanley Kurtz was right. Hetero marriage really is the foundation for damned-near everything!

So get that back-issue of Rosie away from the oven before the souffle falls!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 at 11:12 pm by Radley Balko and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.