Fark links to this unintentionally funny Focus on the Family review of the latest Jimmy Buffet CD. The summary:

It’s been 27 years since “Margaritaville,” and Buffett still lives for the weekends. A few positive moments aside, this CD finds him spiritually lost in a chronic midlife crisis full of bars, women and zero accountability.

That in mind, I cruised the archives to find out what the fundies might have to say about, let’s say, Eminem. Under “Objectionable Content,” the following:

The artist’s appalling sexual misconduct includes brutally sodomizing his mother (”Kill You”) and setting up his sister to be gang raped (”Amityville” states, “My little sister’s birthday/She’ll remember me/For a gift I had ten of my boys take her virginity”). Elsewhere, two men perform fellatio on a third (”Ken Kaniff”). On his hit single, “The Real Slim Shady,” Eminem mentions sex with dead animals. “Drug Ballad” talks of sniffing glue, taking Ecstasy and mixing drinks, and claims that after six gins, “You are now allowed to officially slap b–ches.” Six other tracks glamorize alcohol, weed, acid, hash or cocaine. The rapper strangles his wife to death (”Kim”). With psychotic glee, he threatens to stab people, shoot toddlers and “smack the preacher while he’s preachin’” (”Under the Influence”). “B–ch Please II,” “I’m Back” and “Amityville” glamorize violent shootouts. On several cuts, Eminem either whines about being a scapegoat for teen violence or brags about his vile music’s ability to inspire fans. Lines like “We’re . . . out of our minds and we want in yours/Let us in” (”Kill You”) and “You never heard of a mind as perverted as mine” (”I’m Back”) speak volumes.

The summary:

On “Criminal,” the Grammy-winner notes, “If it’s not a rapper that I make it as, [I'll] be a f—ing rapist.” He’s made it as a rapper–and a rapist. He’s raping young minds at an alarming rate.

And under “Pro Social Content?”

“Absolutely none.”

I think they went kinda’ easy on him, didn’t they?

One more. Marilyn Manson’s “Antichrist Superstar:”

Angry lyrics promote murder, suicide, perverse eroticism and a satanic distaste for Christianity. Lines include: “You can kill yourself now because you’re dead in my mind” (”Man That You Fear”), “I am the faggot anti-pope” (”1996″), “Saw heaven and hell were lies/When I’m God everyone dies” (”The Reflecting God”), “I’ve got abortions in my eyes . . . I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers” (”Irresponsible Hate Anthem”), “I am the dinner whore . . . The world spreads its legs for another star” (”Little Horn”), “I will bury your God in my warm spit” (”Deformography”)– a small sampling of nearly 80 obscenity-strewn minutes of nihilistic trash.

I also like the faint whiff of snark that comes at the end of each review’s summary. Manson’s says:

This band is spiritually oppressive, socially irresponsible and downright hateful. One line from their song “The Minute of Decay” betrays Manson’s destructive course and dangerous agenda for teens: “I’m on my way down now/I’d like to take you with me.” Bad news!

Indeed!

UPDATE: O’DonnellWeb finds the best one yet. From the review of Eric Clapton’s “Unplugged” album:

But while Clapton’s blues aren’t nearly as bitter and nihilistic as those of his moaning young contemporaries in the alternative genre, his lyrics could stand an injection of optimism.

Yeah. I like my blues injected with optimism, too.

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 14th, 2004 at 12:28 pm by Radley Balko and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.