TheAgitator.com
Sex and Polity
Tuesday, October 19th, 2004An ABC News suvey claims that Republicans are more satisfied with their sex lives than Democrats. I could use this to strike another, er, blow for the superior sex lives of libertarians. But I’ll refrain.
Instead, I’d like to point out that, as is often the case, the headlines don’t really reflect what the survey found. Drudge’s headline said “ABC News: Republicans Have Better Sex.”
That’s not really what the study says. It says that Republicans are more satisfied with their sex lives. It also says that Democrats are more likely to fake an orgasm. Of course, as the study notes, both points are skewed by the fact that women are more likely to be Democrats than men, that men tend to enjoy sex more than women, and that women are more likely to fake orgasm.
But let’s get back to “more satisfied” versus “better sex.” I say the poll results are more the result of diminished expectations than better sex. Let’s look at an extreme example, for illustrative purposes:
Fundamentalist Christian Republican believes sex exists solely for procreation. And so fundy husband administers a quick, eight-to-ten thrust rogering of fundy wife once a month with a technique that’s minimal on pleasure, but maximal on efficiency. For survey purposes, husband and wife are probably “satisfied” with the sex if it results in conception.
No, not all Republicans are solely procreational copulators. But I’d guess that on average, they’re less sexually experienced and adventurous than their Democrat counterparts — even within the confines of marriage. Which means they probably expect less from sex. Which probably means they’re more satisfied, or at least less disappointed.
But I’m not sure that equates to better sex.
Republicans More Sexually Satisfied?
According to this ABC News Survey, Republicans are more likely to say they are sexually satisfied than are Democrats. The study’s authors attribute this, in part, to the fact that men are more likely to identify themselves as Republican. Considering…
Ah, so now we know why screwing the taxpayer is so gratifying to career politicians.
We also know why the electorate seems to like to be taken from behind, time and time again, despite their whiney claims of not enjoying it. The politicos use such irresistible pick up lines, shower the electorate with so many gifts and flattery, that the dim-witted bimbo (the electorate) thinks that this time it is for real and that respect & commitment will be there in the morning.
The trouble with phone surveys is that most people hang up, and you only get the type of people who will answer those questions.
Surveyor: Excuse me, do you have a moment to take a survey about sex?
Miss Virginia:
They undoubtedly had a harder time getting Republican-types to answer. So a lot of sexually dissatisfied conservatives were left right out of the totals.
i am a republican and i have great sex. and yes radley, contrary to your stereotypical thinking, i know what great sex is.
How about a new study that compares the frequency of trips to the free clinic for various STDs? Then again, if Democrats are indeed more “sexually experienced and adventurous” (meaning “sluttier”) than Republicans, I think we already know the answer.
I guess I can’t argue that computer-bound Libertarians are likely the most satisfied with their sex lives, though. How could “self-service” sex possibly fail to meet every one of their needs? I mean, what’s better: a salad delivered straight to your table, or a trip to the salad bar where you make it yourself, exactly the way you want it?
a quick, eight-to-ten thrust rogering
Oh yeah, that was definitely a turn on to read. (trying to sound serious) I so could NEVER be with someone that was satisfied with that !!!!
And who cares?
I know you’re probably not serious.
Okay, I hope you’re not serious, but I want to clarify for you which religious groups, exactly, think sex is for procreation only.
This may be surprising to you, but it is NOT fundamentalist Christians, though they may have many faults of their own. They believe God created sex for pleasure within the confines of marriage.
It is Roman Catholics who teach that the only purpose of sex is for procreation.
Opposition to that was actually thesis #7 of Martin Luther’s 95 that he posted to the church door at Wittenburg.
Okay, not really, but it could have been.
Hey Radley,
First, I doubt that younger Republicans are any less sexually “adventurous” than young Democrats. Esp. given that so many younger Republicans seem to lean libertarian.
Second, is there some implicit premise that being monogamous is incompatible with being sexually adventurous? If so, it’s untenable. Married people, or people in a long-term faithful relationship, can be just as adventurous as anyone else.
Third, some people equate non-adherence to traditional sexual morality with being more “adventurous.” Even assuming that’s valid, it doesn’t necessarily make Republicans less adventurous. For example, like it or not, there are plenty of Republicans who are bisexual, or more commonly, are heterosexual but experimented with same-sex encounters in their youth.
Lastly, one comment stated that “Roman Catholics teach that sex is only for procreation.” That may have been true at one time, but it certainly is not the case. Properly understood, Catholicism not only allows, but encourages, married people to enjoy sex with their spouses. God intends married people to have sex — yes, to procreate, but also to give each other pleasure within the context of a lifelong committed relationship. If God didn’t intend married people to enjoy sex, he wouldn’t have designed us to be capable of having orgasms!
(PS – I’m Catholic and I’ve never met a Catholic who calls himself “Roman Catholic.” Those who make sure to say “Roman” Catholic tend to be critical of, or even prejudiced against Catholics. I guess they think the “Roman” makes it sound more foreign…)
A few of quick points:
1) Fundies tend to marry younger because they are horny and want to have sex, but they want to enjoy it and not feel like they are committing a sin.
2) Catholics tend to be more promiscuous than you would think, given their strict religious views on sex, but they have crappier sex because they feel guilty about it the whole time. Many catholic girls will put out, but they basically just lie there.
3) Libertarians have great sex because they don’t feel bad about being selfish. That usually translates into being more willing to do interesting things and demanding quality from your partner.
This sounds like some fraternity boy debate: “I had better sex than you did cause my girl …..”, “OK, but we did ……”
I think it’s time to outgrow such foolishness.
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