TheAgitator.com
Your Nanny Link o’ the Day
Wednesday, May 5th, 2004Man bellyflops off bridge. Man dies.
Town to respond with ban on bellyflopping.
Hat tip to Jim Henley.
Though the belly-up bellyflopper was from Wisconsin, the story still reminds me of one of my favorite regionalist jokes:
Q: What’s every southern man’s last words?
A: “Hey y’all…watch this!”
The problem with bellyflopping is that it’s usually unintentional. Will the ban be expanded to cover any activity that creates a risk of bellyflopping — that is, diving?
Why do I get a page selling Truck Nutz when I click on the link?
Er, so it’s okay to jump off bridges, just as long as you don’t bellyflop when you do it?
… I think jumping of any kind should be prohibited.
eric
I agree, eric. Jumping of any sort should be banned, particularly the insidious activities of curb-hopping and (cringe) rope-jumping.
This heartfelt opinion comes to you from the heart of Indiana where college students leap from buildings without so much as a how-d’ye-do.
Ok. People leaping to their deaths – or serious manglements – isn’t funny. It is stupid, though. Therefore, I find reasons to laugh.
Clearly the only solution is government-paid watchers (think hall monitor, but older and fatter) on all bridges, who must be properly trained. And by God, they must be union.
Then, we must close down all pedestrian walkways on or around water. Anyone driving over a bridge must roll up their windows so they don’t accidentaly fall out. Wait a minute, don’t bridges sometimes fail? Why are we still using those archaic deathtraps!!
Anyone found breaking this law will be smacked with a heavy fine, payable through their estate should they be deceased.
GOVERNMENT HAS SPOKEN!!
Engaging in an activity that poses no danger to anyone but oneself should not be illegal. Stopping such activity is simply not a function of government. Once government heads down that slippery slope of protecting us from ourselves, there is literally no end to what can be prohibited.
It should be up to whoever owns the bridge as to whether people are allowed to jump off of it or not. If the owner is opposed to it, then it doesn’t really matter whether or not the jumper is hurting anybody.
You’re overthinking this one, Stormy. Pretend it’s just a cliff instead of a bridge. If diving off the cliff into the water is only dangerous to the diver, why should government intervene?
This stuff about banning jumping is ridiculous. These people need counselling and treatment, not persecution.
Aren’t there more people dying (drowning) by drinking milk straight out of a carton than belly flopping into a river?
Why is it that government has something against idiots ridding the world of theri own stupid selves? I mean its nature to cull the herd of the weakest. Aren’t we suppose to be listening to “mother earth”?
I’m speechless.
What is a Texan’s last words?
(I’m from Texas).
“Hold my beer”
Lee, I’m from Texas too and I could have sworn that a Texan’s last words were “Oh shit!” but I could be wrong:)
MattG: Engaging in an activity that poses no danger to anyone but oneself should not be illegal. Stopping such activity is simply not a function of government. Once government heads down that slippery slope of protecting us from ourselves, there is literally no end to what can be prohibited.
This pretty much covers it.
It is impossible for an Individual to deliberately harm themselves.
Other common southern last words are “like hell I can’t.”
I have it on good authority that the most common last words in the erstwhile British Empire were:
‘These bloody natives wouldn’t know how to use a gun if you loaded it for them first.’
the funny thing is that he died because he could not swim, not because he belly flopped. That means that swimming, with out knowning how to swim should be illegal.
Art, I think that one best represents the Texas attitude. Good call.
Save the Floppers!
and for the female floppers out there
What’s the mating call of southern women?
Whoo-oooh ya’ll……….I’m DRUUUUNK!
worked for my wife
>You’re overthinking this one, Stormy.
>Pretend it’s just a cliff instead of
>a bridge. If diving off the cliff
>into the water is only dangerous to
>the diver, why should government
>intervene?
Well, that depends on whether the person who owns the cliff is okay with people jumping off of it.
Is it just me, or is a “belly-flop” the perfect analogy of what the current administration has done thus far?
im a texan and it is true our last words are hold my beer.but i was doing thirty foot cliff dives yesterday and we got to a point where we were diving head first beer in hand. lol