TheAgitator.com
Weapons of Mass Inflation
Monday, May 3rd, 2004U.S. Surgeon General Richard Carmona recently told a U.S. Senate committee that childhood obesity is “a threat that is every bit as real to America as the weapons of mass destruction.”
He gave that testimony in March of this year.
So now I’m confused. If the obesity threat is every bit as real as the WMD threat, and we can’t find the WMDs, does that mean obesity really is a threat or really isn’t?
Did we once think we had lots of obese children in America, but now we can’t find them? Did the parents of plump kids hide them just before the government declared “war” on obesity? Did we ship all of our obese children to Syria? Are we selling our obese children to al-Qaeda on the international black market, so Osama can drop herds of fat kids on an unsuspecting American public at some later date?
Or, as it did with the WMDs, has our own government been misleading us about the obesity crisis the entire time?
Actually, that last one is probably right on target.
In a related story, Carmona also noted that McD’s french fries are “as addictive as nicotine”, which of course would also make them “as addictive as heroin”. Crack has also been touted as “as deadly as heroin”, which of course means that french fries with ranch dressing are “the crack of the ’00′s”.
Or something like that. Anyway, I think it all means that fat people are responsible for terrorism.
Or that fat people ate the WMD’s.
This is the WMD-OBESITY connection that I can see:
With both, the government simply changes their definitions in order to facilitate their scaremongoring.
Remember, tons and tons of chemical, biological and nookyllr warheads? Well, after we wasted Iraq, we found a couple of trailers containing water distillation equipment. Subsequently, Dub says “we found the WMD’s!” He said that. Later, he changed it to “weapons of mass destruction related program activities.”
Um, ok. By these standards, every country in the world that owns water distillation equip. could be considered a WMD threat.
Obesity, well, all the USG did was change the government cutoff levels of the already-subjective BMI tests, and overnight, thousands upon thousands of overweight people turned obese, and thousands upon thousands of normal people turned overweight.
Hell, now all they need to do is lower the acceptable BMI again, and we’ll ALL be obese or overwight. Oh NO! CRISIS! FEARMONGORING! AGH!
Anyone else get the “connection”. Though, I doubt that this is what the Surgeon General was referring to. Of course, this, coming from the guy who has mentioned criminalizing cigarettes.
Let’s see, I’m 5’2″, weigh 120 lbs and am a size 2-4 petite.
Last I checked, the BMI said I was borderline.
Hard to imagine a size 2P being borderline obese – or even overweight.
Alas, I’m one of the lucky souls who is smart enough to call bull-shit. What a shame so many of our countrymen aren’t similarly well endowed.
Are you guys saying that obesity is not a priority of the Bush Admin? We should have attacked McDs, Coca-Cola, Domino’s, etc. We would have saved a lot of money in transportation costs. Hell, why not take all of the fat people and put them into concentration camps? Of course, what BMI would we use? By using the BMI (bullshit meter index) we would have problem keeping the Nanny State going. Who would pay the taxes needed to give everyone their hand out?
Maybe if we sent the fat people to Iraq to run around in the heat to find the WMD we could have killed two birds with one stone.
This would be a cute post, except:
a) that quote doesn’t appear in the linked article.
b) WMD do exist in many countries around the globe. They probably exist in Iraq now, and, in the unlikely event there are none in Iraq now, they probably were there before the war. And, whereever WMD are, they could be brought to the U.S. and used.
If you disagree with the gov’s position on obesity, just say that.
I disagree with the gov’s position on obesity.
On one hand, I’m inclined to disbelieve that childhood obesity is such a problem, particularly since the government says it is.
On the other hand, however, have you actually LOOKED at this generation of Playstation kids? At least from what I’ve seen, there are a LOT of really fat, extremely lazy kids these days.
Now, I’m not saying that we should even attempt regulation to control kids’ obesity, since we all know how well THAT will work – I’m just making an observation…
Something tells me, though, that until parents stop letting their kids eat anything they want and do nothing active, not coincidentally like themselves, this trend will continue.
Thank God my Mom made me play outside when I was growing up.
Some comments and observations:
As much as I hated it when I was a kid, I’m a firm believer in making this statement to my child at least once a day “Go play outside.”
There’s not one fat-kid on my child’s softball team. There is not one fat-kid in her class. But I do see many fat kids at her school. I think there always will be.
I do believe that the increase in time spent on video games, computers and tv have contributed to our children’s lazy attitudes. But parents are the ultimate responsible party.
By these standards, every country in the world that owns water distillation equip. could be considered a WMD threat.
Evan, not every country … just those who do not posess sufficient institutional and soceital checks-and-balances against the abuse of power, and have allowed a leadership with a history of large-scale lethal brutality and expansionist tendencies to hijack such infrastructure for their own ends.
That is why Saddam & Sons were justifiably #1 on the Hit parade.
Insight magazine and Ken Timmerman were spot-on.
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