TheAgitator.com
Subservient Chicken
Friday, April 9th, 2004I really don’t know what to say.
41 Responses to “Subservient Chicken”
This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial NoDerivs 2.5 License.
-
Site Features
-
Contribute
-
Site Credits
Well that is about the greatest thing the internet has yet produced. It’s not perfect, but it’s damned close.
Before I was sure it was pre-recorded, I said, “Give me the bird.” Try it, it’s pretty funny.
He’ll do a lot. But he won’t eat the television.
A Nation Of Subservient Chickens
Here’s another reason I don’t vote: It’s damned undignified. If Jubal Harshaw were here I think he’d say: “I know who my social equals are and they’re not voters.”
Radley Balko
The only thing I could get him to do was dance or sit down. He refused to jump or “leave the room”. Somewhere a list of all his commands must exist.
I got him to jump, but when I said jump three times, he turned to his left and bowed three times. After that, he refused to do anything else that I asked.
I did get him to go down on one knee, propose, and pick his nose. Not all at the same time.
Ask him to clap. I also got him to lay on the floor and sit in the chair.
Jesse,
I tried to get him to eat the television, too - I can’t believe I’m not the only one!
He did some jumping jacks for me.
He’ll do the funky chicken, the robot, and the electric slide, but not the macarena.
It will also attempt to stand on it’s head, eat a bug, and throw seat cushions at you.
Swamp Justice -
http://dev.magicosm.net/cgi-bin/public/corvidaewiki/bin/view/Game/SubservientChickenRequestList
It’s a wiki, so you can add your own to it.
Oddly, I couldn’t get him to vote for Kerry or Bush.
It seems this chicken has higher standards than some.
I got him to moon me.
Best. Website. Ever.
One of the funniest damn sites I’ve ever seen. It does almost everything you tell it to. Try telling it to do the funky chicken, the robot, or the electric slide. It won’t eat the television, though.
Funny stuff.
I typed “Eat your vegetables” 3 times.
The first time it came up to the camera and did a “Gag me” move (finger in beak).
The second time it jumped on the furniture.
Third time it stood there and looked confused. Just like a real chicken.
Amazing.
Try hump the chair….
he will watch the television
He’ll also salute!
also got him to worship me
When you tell him to go away, he does, and, if you’re like me, you feel bad…
but then he comes back!
Try go fishing.
he wont turn off the lamp
he can watch porn too
He kicked himself in the ass for me. But when I told him to write me a check for $1000 he just walked up to the camera and stared.
tell him to “dance like john travolta”
i couldn’t get him to do matrix stuff, sadly.
he can river dance quite well. also, try madonna, (evil laugh)
He knows karate, boxing, and swordfighting.
He also cheerleads.
try “mosh”. he does it better than most kids at shows..
I’m proud to say that I got a chicken to propose to me! Type in “propose” and he’ll get on one knee. Also, he’ll tell you “I love you.” Who needs a man when they have this chicken?!
Also, try “go fishing”, “die”, “throw pillows”, and “madonna”–very funny stuff!
Evidently our subservient chicken friend invested in the “Clapper.” Ask him to “turn off lights.”
If you type in “burger” or “make a sandwich”, he’ll come right up to the camera and give you a thumbs up. All hail, BK! Oddly, he doesn’t seem to like McDonald’s. If you type in “mcdonalds”, he appears to be shaking his head as to say “no.” Don’t ask him “Do you like McDonalds?” because he gets testy and gives you the double bird.
Type in “blanket” and he’ll play a matador. Ole!
The subservient chicken also loves 70’s music. He even knows the “YMCA.”
He’ll play a game of “hide and seek” with you if you ask. Type in “hide and seek” and he’ll take the cushions off the sofa and hide underneath them. Like he could hide those tailfeathers anywhere. He also enjoys “peekaboo.”
Also, I know he proposed to me, but don’t ask him to “make love.” He struts up to the camera, gets freakishly close, and gives you a nice view of himself at various angles.
The subservient chicken seems to have an aversion to an artichoke — interesting response.
Even though he has a dislike for Mickey D’s, he seems to like Colonel Sanders.
The chicken also does a mean worm — hysterical!
Ask him to get drunk. He gets excited and runs around in circles.
If you type in crispin, some of the chicken’s friends come out from behind the sofa.
I asked him to do a backflip, the results were hilarious.
What a well behaved bird! Wish he could come over and teach my parrot a few new tricks!
whenever i told him to do something he threw pillows at me. i asked him to do the macerana but no dice…
Type in the word “taco” and watch the little hotty that comes out to dance with him….
If youi type in “macarana” you have to have the spelling perfect, and he will do it.
Tell to him watch tv, eat yourself, paly the guitar, run and read a book.
I tried to get him to brew a cup of coffee, but no such luck! He will however do the macarena, and if you tell the chicken how sick it is, it will take a bow.
Make love to the camera… scary.
i told him im vegan and he got mad at me!