TheAgitator.com
I Must Hate Children…
Saturday, April 3rd, 2004…because I think banning outdoor smoking, as Port Orange, FL is about to do, is a ridiculous idea.
You try and teach your kids not to smoke. If you’re going have people right around, second hand smoke is probably really bad as it is,” says Port Orange resident Harry Eoulmegis.John Jackson, a former city council member, proposed the ordinance. He says this is about more than second-hand smoke. To him, it’s also about setting a healthy example for children.
If I had kids, I would probably teach them not to smoke. But I’d also try to teach them not to grow up to be pissant, podunk, power-hungry small town city council members.
But how can I do that when every time I take them out in public, people like John Jackson might be around, needlessly exposing my vulnerable children to secondhand, small-town fascism?
We ought to ban John Jackson.
If I had kids, I would probably teach them not to smoke. But I’d also try to teach them not to grow up to be pissant, podunk, power-hungry small town city council members.
But how can I do that when every time I take them out in public, people like John Jackson might be around, needlessly exposing my vulnerable children to secondhand, small-town fascism?
More fundamentally, how could you teach your kids that while at the same time affirming that collective welfare trumps individual rights?
“Daddy? What’s the difference in principle betweem minarchy and maxarchy?”
How about a ban on cussing? That’s not something kids should do. $1,000 for the first offense, double the fines for every subsequent offense, harsher penalties the younger the kids are who overheard you. The government could start a program to reward kids for ratting out their parents when they cuss.
This will solve the scourge of cussing! Fuck yeah!
Oops! I mean “heck yeah!”
I also found it interesting that the WFTV web site places links and ads to stop smoking orgs. on the same page as anti-smoking story.
MattG–
Don’t give them any ideas.
Wu Tang is for the children.
and
Tricky love tha kids.
Here! Here!
MattG, to add to your cool idea, police could ticket people over 18 for “contributing to the delinquency of a minor” for cussing in front of a child. Woohoo! More revenue!
MattG,
I guess you don’t remember this case…
http://www.freedomforum.org/templates/document.asp?documentID=15992