TheAgitator.com
The Importance of Planning Ahead
Wednesday, March 17th, 2004You always gotta’ feel bad for the guy who’s depressed enough to try to kill himself, but can’t quite get that right, either:
A Hartland man was treated at a Pittsfield hospital after he nailed himself to a cross. The 23-year-old man apparently was trying to commit suicide Thursday evening in his living room, the Bangor Daily News reported……Lt. Pierre Boucher said the man took two pieces of wood, nailed them together in the form of a cross and placed them on the floor. He attached a suicide sign to the wood and then proceeded to nail one of his hands to the makeshift cross using a 14-penny nail and a hammer.
“When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911,” Boucher said.
It was unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand.
A Monty Python sketch waiting to happen.
DOH!!!
Put a gun in my mouth
Thought it was real
Out popped a flag
Puked my last meal
Drank me some Clorox
Yeah, I’m a goner
My hair all fell out
I’m Sinead O’Connor!
- Josh, mature
Obviously NOT the second coming
I see a (frivolous) lawsuit in Mel Gibson’s future …
So much to say, so little of it relevant . . .
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smell awful;
You might as well live.
РDorothy Parker, R̩sum̩
Thelma: You can’t commit suicide, Jess. It’s a sin.
Jessie: Jesus was a suicide if you ask me.
Thelma: You’ll go to hell just for saying that, Jess!
– Marsha Norman, ‘Night, Mother
what the hell is wrong with your comments section?????
I’m writing a book called “The De-Evolution of Man”.
This guy is chapter 7.
Oh, good lord. Any geek who’s followed the insanely funny British comedy “The Young Ones” should recognize this:
Neil: “Rick, crucifixion’s a really negative way to kill yourself. I’ve tried a dozen times. There’s no way you can hammer in the third nail!”
Life imitating art, truth stranger than fiction…you make the call.
it took ten comments before someone recognized the young ones bit? you folks just aren’t nerdy enough…
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