21 Responses to “Could Shakespeare Get Into Swarthmore?”

1. #1 |  andrew |  March 1st, 2004 at 1:40 pm

   “Whenever possible the student should use polysyllabic words where shorter, clearer words would suffice. . . . the highest-scoring essays will be earnest, long-winded, and predictable.”

   That’s about the worst writing advice I’ve seen — the exact opposite is the truth.

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2. #2 |  michael |  March 1st, 2004 at 1:53 pm

   All standardized test are pretty much bullshit especially vocab. Am I unintelligent because I do not know what magniloquent means.

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3. #3 |  Danno49 |  March 1st, 2004 at 3:56 pm

   Shouldn’t the title be:

   Could Sir Francis Bacon Get Into Swarthmore?

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4. #4 |  Drew |  March 1st, 2004 at 4:25 pm

   Michael,

   No, not knowing what magniloquent means doesn’t mean you’re unintelligent. But most standardized tests like the PSAT, SAT, LSAT, etc. aren’t measuring intelligence.

   A question that asks “What is the meaning of magniloquent?” and gives four answer choices does measure the ability of a test-taker to use deductive reasoning to eliminate incorrect answers and arrive at the best possible answer. Or so the Educational Testing Service and its ilk claim. What they neglect to mention is that people with strong vocabularies can short-circuit this whole process by leaping to the answer choice of “pompously verbose.” So people with strong vocabularies will do better on entrance exams for college.

   But is this really a problem? People with strong vocabularies will also tend to have strong writing skills. Colleges look for people who communicate effectively and that includes people with strong writing skills. It seems infinitely more just for an institution of higher learning to give admissions preference based on ability to communicate rather than based on alumni legacy or athletic prowess.

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5. #5 |  Chris Farley |  March 1st, 2004 at 6:28 pm

   I think the essay is a good idea. My overall SAT scores would have been much lower and more indicative. I’m one of those annoying people with a border-line photographic/audiographic memory. I can’t recite pages from a book, but I can always pick the right answer when given choices…and I mean always - 100% of the time. I don’t think I’ve ever missed a multiple choice question. So, the writing part would show just what a moron I am…since I don’t write too good.

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6. #6 |  Jeb |  March 1st, 2004 at 9:23 pm

   Why is it so wrong that the Unabomber would score well? Wasn’t he highly intelligent and well-educated? (I’m going from memory here, so correct me if I’m wrong) This is aside, of course, from the fact that he decided token murders would have a positive end.

   Also, I’ve always posited that Shakespeare would be nothing more than an average high school English teacher if he were alive today. I can picture him: “This is just something to pay the bills until I can get this latest tragedy published.”

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7. #7 |  NarniaBound |  March 2nd, 2004 at 5:36 pm

   I DESPISE standardized tests. However, I was extremely happy that they ditched the analytical section and added the essay for the Graduate Record Exam (GRE) that I took in November.

   But the article is hilarious and pointed. Most of the brilliant authors would have failed because those tests cannot measure what is most valuable to a good writer–the ability to write something that the generation wants to read. None of those authors cared a fig for the established institutions of academia; Hemingway didn’t even go to college, and as far as we know, Shakespeare had a very short education.

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