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Life, Satire Inch Closer

Friday, December 5th, 2003

Words fail me.

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This entry was posted on Friday, December 5th, 2003 at 8:10 am by Radley Balko and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

162 Responses to “Life, Satire Inch Closer”

  1. #1 |  Ms. Dani |  December 5th, 2003 at 8:31 am

    what the heck was that?!

  2. #2 |  Joe Sims |  December 5th, 2003 at 8:33 am

    Well, at least he has the support of the creatures of the forest…

    The more I hear about Kucinich, the more I think, “I guess Al Sharpton isn’t the worst candidate to ever run for president!”

    What a looney-tunes…

  3. #3 |  Anonymous |  December 5th, 2003 at 8:39 am

    oooookay. ..

    Didn’t Kucinich just say he was basically in it for the babes anyway? His candidacy makes sense if you think of it that way.

  4. #4 |  roger |  December 5th, 2003 at 8:53 am

    As a resident of Cleveland, I must offer my most sincere apologies for my city forcing this, well, unusually nutty guy on the rest of the country.

    I have never actually cast my vote for him for ANY office, but yet still feel a strange sense of responsibility for this abomination.

    Again, I’m so sorry he’s gone National, but PLEASE don’t send him back to us…

  5. #5 |  Uberdude |  December 5th, 2003 at 9:01 am

    He’s the anti-Tom Delay. Picture the Delay version. I was walking through the woods looking for something to clear cut and saw a drugged out old man, so I fragged him and slaughtered a bunch of woodland creatures who were in the way and left their rotting corpses in a stream. It’s a ying yang thing, Dennis is essential for balance, a necessary unevil even if he does make my nonvulcan skin crawl.

  6. #6 |  Jason |  December 5th, 2003 at 9:37 am

    A user named “zamfear” (zamfear@spam.nl) left this comment on my blog the other day when I linked to Kucinich’s endorsement:

    “My pets and their animal friends hate Kucinich!!

    My cat, Missy Soft-Paws, did a quick poll of the creatures of the forest, and found them to be Bush-leaning (56%), though there are a sizable number of Kerry supporters (37%) out there. Apparently, they don’t really think much of Dean (2%) or Kucinich (1%). Note: the blog thing hasn’t caught on in the forest yet.

    She also asked the creatures of the forest what they thought of Grandpa Twilight. 78% hadn’t heard of him before. 8% regarded him favorably. 14% consider him to be a dastard and an interloper.”

    I’ve randomly thought of Grandfather Twilight a few times in the last two days and just cracked myself up. Thanks, Dennis, for being such a friggin’ weirdo.

  7. #7 |  Dana |  December 5th, 2003 at 9:59 am

    What drugs are they on and where did they get them??? Just wanting to know so I can keep my kids safe you know.

  8. #8 |  MRK |  December 5th, 2003 at 10:03 am

    I think I finally understand what the Democrats mean when they call somebody ‘progressive’.

  9. #9 |  Chris Farley |  December 5th, 2003 at 10:05 am

    Wow, no wonder the monkeys at the national zoo have been throwing feces at tourists.

  10. #10 |  Eric |  December 5th, 2003 at 10:05 am

    That’s great stuff.

  11. #11 |  Amy |  December 5th, 2003 at 12:15 pm

    I only pray Sailor Moon very vocally supports one of the other candidates.

  12. #12 |  corquando |  December 5th, 2003 at 1:43 pm

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  13. #13 |  Steve |  December 5th, 2003 at 2:08 pm

    I can’t stop laughing. That’s gotta be one of the funniest fucking things I’ve seen in a long time.

  14. #14 |  Pejmanesque |  December 5th, 2003 at 2:16 pm

    TRUTH AND FICTION MERGE

    In the spirit of this, I would like to announce that my candidacy for Universal Emperor and Shahanshah has been endorsed by the characters from The Arabian Nights, Ishmael of Moby Dick, the ghosts of Edward Gibbon and Dante Alighieri,…

  15. #15 |  datarat |  December 5th, 2003 at 2:30 pm

    Where ya been Radley? I’ve been laughing about this for 4 days.

  16. #16 |  Mike G |  December 5th, 2003 at 6:13 pm

    I hear that Good Night Gorilla has thrown his support behind Clark, but Bialosky Bear is waiting to see who wins in Iowa.

    By the way, I have two young children and I never heard of this beloved character or his author.

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