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If You Get Cold, I’ll Tax the Heat

Thursday, August 21st, 2003

They’re thinking of taxing coffee in Seattle. But fret not, Emerald City residents, it’s for the children, as this strictly objective, just-the-facts report from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer details:

For espresso addicts, the latte tax on the Sept. 16 ballot would mean an extra 10 cents per drink.

But for children at the Tiny Tots Development Center, it might mean keeping teachers such as Karen Carpenter.

For Karen Carpenter, a teacher at the Tiny Tots Development Center, the latte tax could make the difference between staying or leaving.
The South Seattle center, which provides day care and education to mostly low-income children, cobbles together public money to pay salaries and buy equipment and supplies for its students.

It’s never enough…

“If someone can pay $3 for a latte, they can pay 10 cents for early learning and child care,” said John Burbank, executive director of the Economic Opportunity Institute, which sponsored the measure.

Next thing you know, they’ll be taxing cigarettes in New York. Or hookers in Vegas. Or lies in Washington. Or profanity in Boston. Or sweat in Houston. Or fat in Mobile. Or mullets in Charlotte. Or boredom in Des Moines.

Somebody stop me.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 21st, 2003 at 7:50 pm by Radley Balko and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

20 Responses to “If You Get Cold, I’ll Tax the Heat”

  1. #1 |  James D |  August 21st, 2003 at 8:00 pm

    Can they tax Gas lines here in Phoenix?

  2. #2 |  John Sabotta |  August 21st, 2003 at 8:26 pm

    Friends of mine (who have fled to Salt Lake City) have taken to calling Seattle “Walletrob, Washington.”

    For such an expensive city, Seattle is still a provincial little self-important self-satisfied shithole. (No dotcom fraud bubble to grease the skids anymore, though – fraud is a long standing tradition of the Great Pacific Northwest, dating back to the good old “cheat-the-Alaskans” days of the Gold Rush.)

    Unhappy Seattle resident,
    JS

    (On the other hand, there have been more drive-by shootings recently. But not, alas, of the right people)

  3. #3 |  Jason |  August 21st, 2003 at 11:26 pm

    I thought Karen Carpenter was dead…turns out she’s just in child care.

  4. #4 |  Will Wilkinson |  August 22nd, 2003 at 8:43 am

    If a boredom tax would lower the relative price of less boring behavior, thereby inducing more of it, I’m sure Des Moinesians would welcome it.

  5. #5 |  Luca Brasi |  August 22nd, 2003 at 9:24 am

    Living in Omaha, I can attest to the high level of suck in Des Moines. Man, I hate that place. On a related note, I saw a vanity plate that read, “TAXR2HI”. I give the guy a solid B+ for effort and an A- for creativity.

  6. #6 |  Dani-girl |  August 22nd, 2003 at 11:04 am

    No no, don’t stop…

  7. #7 |  kinsean |  August 22nd, 2003 at 11:54 am

    f#$%ing radley,

    don’t even f@#$ing think about taxing my motherf#$%ing profanity. i’ll put together the biggest f#$%ing profanity tea party you’ve ever f$%^ing seen.

    all of boston will take a louisville f#$%ing sluggah upside yah head. i bet it will make a wicked gong sound.

    stay the f#$% away from my profanity.

    i’m wicked serious.

  8. #8 |  T-squared |  August 22nd, 2003 at 2:32 pm

    How about obesity tax? A cure for both budget deficit and body surplus.

  9. #9 |  eric |  August 22nd, 2003 at 4:01 pm

    You think Des Moines is boring? Try Waterloo.

  10. #10 |  Travis |  August 22nd, 2003 at 6:16 pm

    Bad basketball tax in Denver?

  11. #11 |  billy-jay |  August 22nd, 2003 at 11:39 pm

    Somebody stop you? Somebody stop them!

  12. #12 |  Frank N |  August 23rd, 2003 at 6:25 am

    Here in NJ they tax everthing that doesn’t move and if it moves they nail it down then tax it.

  13. #13 |  Luca Brasi |  August 23rd, 2003 at 8:46 am

    I’ve been to Waterloo before. It was uhhh… interesting? You do have a nice ice rink though.

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